# How do you get straight sex? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 4, 2000, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-straight-sex/24560 "2000-07-04T16:32:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![SqrlCub](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SqrlCub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SqrlCub)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2000, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-straight-sex/24560/21 "2000-07-05T14:51:25Z")
Gay men want relationships too. Sometimes this comes through tricking (does not involve prostitutions as Matt already said). I met my first longterm boyfriend (over 5 years) by cruising. It is not the straight culture that you guys are used to seeing. HUGS! Sqrl ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2000, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-straight-sex/24560/22 "2000-07-05T14:59:50Z")
How do _you_ get straight sex? Act like a man. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2000, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-straight-sex/24560/23 "2000-07-05T15:06:54Z")
Okay. I’ve never done this–this is just what I’ve heard from folks who do. Personal ads. Ever read the alternative weekly newspapers? Most of them will have a section of people who are just looking to get laid, and quite a few of those are het. Same thing with personals on the internet. Mind you, there are many more men than women on those things, but there are enough women who are looking for a good time that the men get laid every now and then. Not sure about chat rooms, because I’ve never met anyone who did it that way. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2000, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-straight-sex/24560/24 "2000-07-05T16:22:35Z")
matt, Im not sure what you mean by safe sex; but condoms are SAFER sex, they are not safe sex. They fall off, they rip, etc. Plus, wearing a condom a person can still get HPV 16 & 18, HPV 7,9 [genital warts], Mono, Herphes, lice, etc… ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2000, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-straight-sex/24560/25 "2000-07-05T17:01:02Z")
Handy: As I mentioned, I’ve been a volunteer both for an AIDS organization and for a gay phone line, so I do know this, thank you. It’s not a problem for me, since I keep myself safe by - Wait a minute. Let’s go up and reread the OP. What do we see there? Is it a request for advice, opinions, or criticisms about _my_ sex life? As it happens, no. I don’t mean to jump on you in particular, Handy, but as I already told Dropzone, this is let’s-answer-Matt’s-questio-about-straight-sex day, not let’s-examine-Matt’s-safe-sex-behaviour-across-the-Internet day. Did I post this in the wrong forum? If I did, let me know. I’ll have this thread locked and repost it in GQ, if that’s what I ought to do to get an answer. Vestal: Is this an answer or an admonishment, and to whom? Drain: Thank you. I now have two answers. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2000, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-straight-sex/24560/26 "2000-07-05T17:35:21Z")
Like DB, never done this, but… - Chat rooms online. Most people will ask if you’re close, and if so, will agree to meet you that night. - Personal ads. Takes a little longer, but same idea. - Going to a bar and seeing who you can pick up. Old standby, but still works. ---
**Author:** ![jazzmine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jazzmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jazzmine)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2000, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-straight-sex/24560/27 "2000-07-05T18:06:08Z")
When I was in my early twenties, I just went to a bar and went home with someone. I’m one of those anytime, anywhere girls and the bar was the quickest way to accomplish this without all the bullshit. Now, I’m married and cannot imagine sex with a stranger, or even a casual acquaintance. For me, sex gets better the longer I do it with the same person. Now, if I were the single, I’m thinking I wouldn’t have sex very often, even though I continue to be one of those anytime, anywhere girls. I think that often, casual sex for women happens the majority of the time when they are younger…and since not all men are younger, and not all men want a 20 year old, it becomes more difficult to do the stranger sex thing. Please, everyone, this is just my opinion…your life may completely differ. trisha ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2000, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-straight-sex/24560/28 "2000-07-05T18:31:23Z")
> [@](#): > > How do you get straight sex?" 1. Find straight woman and straight man 2. Combine proper atmosphere with food, music, and often, alcohol. (Sometimes expensive gifts are also exchanged) 3. Mix well, and heat to just above 99 degrees. 4. Straight sex will occur, given the woman and man are allowed to repeat steps 1 - 3 if necessary. matt, sounds like you have a nice thing going. Glad I never thought of you as a “fuck machine” though, 'cause I would have been so wrong… 😉 Sili ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2000, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-straight-sex/24560/29 "2000-07-05T18:35:45Z")
matt - for me, back when I was younger and just interested in “sex”, not relationships, getting laid was very easy. Go to a bar. Simple. Now, if you are looking for a relationship, that’s a whole different story. Oh, as for the internet part of it, call me crazy but I wouldn’t have gone that route, only because it’s just scarier to me. I know it sounds stupid - what’s scarier about picking up a person on line and sleeping with them versus picking up someone in person and sleeping with them - but it’s true for me, going the internet route just seems inherently more “dangerous”. Like I would be more at risk with the internet person. Maybe it’s because you can actually see what the person in the bar looks like and don’t have to deal with them if you get a funny feeling about them, but if you hook up with someone on line, then meet them and decided you get a funny feeling it’s more of a rejection - kind of a “you brought me all the way here now you are gonna put out!!!” kind of thing. What the heck do I know - I’m 34, single, and fighting with my boyfriend. ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2000, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-straight-sex/24560/30 "2000-07-05T18:40:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\* > > Vestal: Is this an answer or an admonishment, and to whom? > > \*\* Take it as you see fit. ---
**Author:** ![stuyguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@stuyguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stuyguy)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2000, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-straight-sex/24560/31 "2000-07-05T18:43:22Z")
No, no, no, Tradesil. Regarding #2 on your list, expensive gifts are never EXCHANGED. They are GIVEN by the man (read: sap) to the woman (read: ingrate). As for “exchanges,” well, that’s what the woman does at the store if she does not like the color or the size of the expensive gift. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2000, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-straight-sex/24560/32 "2000-07-05T19:01:50Z")
> [@](#): > > For gay guys it’s easy. I got laid last night with a tall > and quite attractive Frenchman. It took me a half-hour > on the Internet in the [priape.com](http://priape.com) chatroom and > another twenty minutes of walking. It was faster than a > pizza. OK, yes, dammit, I’m jealous!!! Bloody shot-to-shit heterosexual world!!! ::stalks off fuming:: ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2000, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-straight-sex/24560/33 "2000-07-05T19:48:40Z")
stuyguy, you funny. I like your keen analytical observations, but watch what you call my wife! Sili ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2000, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-straight-sex/24560/34 "2000-07-05T21:11:13Z")
OK, thanks for the answers, folks. The reason I’m asking is because for the last little while, I’ve been curious about what sex with a woman is like. Considering how interesting I find bi-curious guys, I supposed that some str8 women might find a bi-curious gay guy as interesting. I don’t know if I’m going to give it a try, but I might. Thanks for the suggestions. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2000, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-straight-sex/24560/35 "2000-07-05T21:17:10Z")
Given that info, matt - I’d say that the internet is yer best choice for finding people. Just my opinion. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2000, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-straight-sex/24560/36 "2000-07-05T21:44:08Z")
The other night I was watching “The Science of Sex” on Discovery (actually, it was a marathon of that show–fascinating!). Homosexuality was the topic of a portion of one show, and some interesting studies were quoted. In these studies, it was discovered that regardless of sexual preference, men tend to behave sexually _as men_. Meaning, straight or gay, a man has an entirely different approach and expectation of sex than a woman (studies also reflected that lesbian women also typically behaved “as women” when it came to roles, expectations, timing of meet-to-sex, etc.). Men are far more likely to engage in one-night stands and otherwise have sex simply for the sake of having sex. Studies also showed that gay men are typically far more promiscuous–not because they have increased libido, but because they have increased opportunities. To answer the question, 1. I’m picky. 2. Sex is awesome…but useless to me if it is meaningless. 3. If I want sex, I just call up the fiancé. I am not wanting. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2000, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-straight-sex/24560/37 "2000-07-05T22:03:39Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Ruffian \* **(studies also reflected that lesbian women also typically behaved “as women” when it came to roles, expectations, timing of meet-to-sex, etc**[/QUOTE Obviously the researchers didn’t hang out at the Lexington. 🙂 It’s the only dyke bar we have here in SF. My god a lot of sex goes on in those bathrooms. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone with some girlfriends only to be abandoned for a quicky in the toilet. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2000, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-straight-sex/24560/38 "2000-07-05T23:42:31Z")
Well matt, if a het wants sex we can also have sex with gay guys cause you know they love us for tricks 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-straight-sex/24560/39 "2000-07-06T00:01:34Z")
My answer would be bars as well. Sure, it’s old, but it’s a classic. Now that I’m in a relationship, I actually go to bars to DRINK 😉 matt, I would be really curious how you would experience sex with a woman. I have an uncle who’s gay (“Some of my best friends are gay, but…” :D), and he has had sex with some women throughout his life and times. Notably, he had sex with Bianca Jagger somewhere in the 70’s. He was in the fashion business (don’t you love them stereotypes, dahling?), and in NYC for a fashion show. He met her at the fashion show, went out with her afterwards, and she invited him to her hotel room. His words: “Sure, it was gross. But this is the sort of thing you want to tell your nephew about 20 years later. This was Bianca Jagger! Of course I fucked her!”. Laughed my ass off. Uhm, sorry for the hijack. Carry on - although I still find it hard to believe that someone is turned off by the idea of having sex with a woman. Guess that’s why I’m straight, huh 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-straight-sex/24560/40 "2000-07-06T01:11:05Z")
Quoth Ruffian: > [@](#): > > Men are far more likely to engage in one-night stands and otherwise have sex simply for the sake of having sex. In the heterosexual world, at least, this is absolutely not true: Men have hetero one-night stands _exactly_ as often as women. Perhaps what you meant to say, is that men _try_ to have one-night stangs more often? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-straight-sex/24560.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-get-straight-sex/24560.md?page=3)