# How do you handle a counter-offer if you give your notice? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 20, 2013, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-handle-a-counter-offer-if-you-give-your-notice/658833 "2013-05-20T16:23:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-handle-a-counter-offer-if-you-give-your-notice/658833/1 "2013-05-20T16:23:50Z")
I’m in the end-stage of a job search, and expect an offer at the end of the week. The salary would be about 20-25% more than I’m making now. If my current employer asks “What would it take to get you to stay?” how do I handle it? A couple data points to help you answer… I’d stay if the gave me more money. I like my job, but I’ve been here long enough and the yearly salary increases are poor enough that I’m about 20-25% off my mark, salary-wise. I’ve talked to my boss a couple times about it, but he just blows me off. Should I flat out say “Yes, match this salary: $xxx,xxx and I will stay”? FWIW, they may also say “Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out”. I’m ok with that. Should I sanitize my offer letter (i.e. remove anything that identifies the company) and show them? ---
**Author:** ![Amara\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7993a0/32.png) [@Amara\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amara_1)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-handle-a-counter-offer-if-you-give-your-notice/658833/2 "2013-05-20T17:02:45Z")
For me personally, I’ve already decided to move on when I interview. It may be boredom or financial but I don’t play the counter-offer game. The main issues that drive me to take another job tend to be systemic and a one-time change won’t fix them. I’ve mostly seen the counter-offer work well when the employee wants a title increase. They get it for a little bit and then either move on anyway or get laid off. There was one company that I worked for that would only do pay increases as a counter offer. This didn’t work out that well for them. It’s a terrible way to treat employees. Good luck and congratulations! ---
**Author:** ![JerrySTL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e274bd/32.png) [@JerrySTL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JerrySTL)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-handle-a-counter-offer-if-you-give-your-notice/658833/3 "2013-05-20T17:12:36Z")
Never, ever take a counter-offer. 1. Management will consider you ‘disloyal’ and you’ll be first on the chopping block if they need to do a reduction in force. 2. They knowingly were paying you less than what you are worth to them. You want to work with jerks like that? ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-handle-a-counter-offer-if-you-give-your-notice/658833/4 "2013-05-20T17:17:54Z")
Sorry, the closest I’ve come to counter-offers is several bosses saying “but you can’t do this _to me_!”, to which the proper response is “watch me.” It’s amazing how much grown men manage to sound like bratty teen girls when wailing “but you can’t do this to meeeeeeeee!” ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-handle-a-counter-offer-if-you-give-your-notice/658833/5 "2013-05-20T17:24:45Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Sorry, the closest I’ve come to counter-offers is several bosses saying “but you can’t do this _to me_!”, to which the proper response is “watch me.” Hell, the closest I’ve ever come is a boss who asked me if I could stay for another week. OTOH, I once offered a job to someone who accepted, then turned around and told me her boss counteroffered so she’d stay at her current job. I told her she had burned her bridges with us and that she should never, ever talk to anyone again about working for our company. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-handle-a-counter-offer-if-you-give-your-notice/658833/6 "2013-05-20T17:28:38Z")
FWIW, the scenario would play out once I was offered a job, and before I accept. There are several strategies to stretch that time out, like asking lots of detailed questions about benefits and costs of health care, etc., asking for additional vacation time to be included in the offer, more money, etc. etc. etc. I agree that accepting an offer, then coming back a couple days later and recinding is bad form. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-handle-a-counter-offer-if-you-give-your-notice/658833/7 "2013-05-20T18:02:21Z")
Other factors you should consider are 1) if your current employer were to match the offer, would this be a short term solution? Are you going to fall behind the market comps again over the next few years?; 2) What about other intangibles between the competing offers? vacation policy, 401k matching, healthcare benefits, opportunities for promotion, etc. Don’t be afraid to negotiate. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-handle-a-counter-offer-if-you-give-your-notice/658833/8 "2013-05-20T18:14:35Z")
If you want you can tell your employer what it would take to get you to stay. Then if they offer that you’ll have to judge their sincerity and whether it’s worth staying even for that. Personally I’d just say “No thanks, I’ve made my decision.” ---
**Author:** ![redtail23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3e96dc/32.png) [@redtail23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/redtail23)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-handle-a-counter-offer-if-you-give-your-notice/658833/9 "2013-05-20T18:15:57Z")
The only times I’ve had counter-offers were similar to yours - with employers that were underpaying. My response to that was “I shouldn’t have to quit to be paid what I’m worth. Goodbye.” ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-handle-a-counter-offer-if-you-give-your-notice/658833/10 "2013-05-20T18:32:55Z")
This has happened to me exactly once … I was in a job for 10 years, and was burned out. Liked the people I worked with, but was tired of the job and frustrated with some of the inner workings of the compay. I landed another job, and gave notice. A few days later, my boss, the president of the company, asked me if they offered the same salary would I stay. I told him I appreciated the offer, but I didn’t think it would be fair to them or to the other company if I stayed. He said he understood. In hindsight, I should have given more consideration to my boss’ offer; the new company quickly turned out to be a nightmare, and I left after two years. Still, though, it was a nice feeling to have a company say “We want to do whatever we can to keep you.” ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-handle-a-counter-offer-if-you-give-your-notice/658833/11 "2013-05-20T18:39:17Z")
> [@JerrySTL](#): > > Never, ever take a counter-offer. > > 1. Management will consider you ‘disloyal’ and you’ll be first on the chopping block if they need to do a reduction in force. > > 2. They knowingly were paying you less than what you are worth to them. You want to work with jerks like that? Not much that I can add to that. Except to note, of course be polite in declining, and continue (after leaving) to network with your bosses and colleagues who liked your work enough to make a counter-offer. Perhaps one day you will return to your former employer, having gotten _two_ raises–once when you departed, and once when you returned. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-handle-a-counter-offer-if-you-give-your-notice/658833/12 "2013-05-20T19:05:41Z")
The only reason I can see to do this is to get a firm dollar figure to use when negotiating with the new company. If you get a counter offer and stay you will never get another raise again, since you’ll be way above your co-workers in salary. That is assuming they are sincere in the counter offer and not doing it out of spite. BTW, how do you compute your mark? Is it what is being paid in your industry, or what you think you should be paid? When I’ve done salary administration, it is a complex balancing of people’s ranking, their relative salary positions, and fairness. We got a pot of money to distribute. When the pot was not very large giving someone a big raise meant denying other people raises, or actually cutting salaries which is done only in the most extreme of circumstances. Getting a new job often means getting paid based on current industry salaries versus internal salaries, and new hire salaries are often more competitive. I agree with warnings by others also on what may happen to you if you stay. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-handle-a-counter-offer-if-you-give-your-notice/658833/13 "2013-05-20T19:35:03Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > BTW, how do you compute your mark? Is it what is being paid in your industry, or what you think you should be paid? I compute my current value based on what other companies are paying for people that have my skills, responsibilities and education. Also, taking inflation into account, my salary increases have barely outpaced inflation. In the meantime, I’ve expanded and enlarged my job beyond anyone’s expectations here. I’ve earned consistent praise and I’m recognized as the top performer on my team. ---
**Author:** ![yellowjacketcoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/4bbf92/32.png) [@yellowjacketcoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowjacketcoder)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-handle-a-counter-offer-if-you-give-your-notice/658833/14 "2013-05-20T19:59:06Z")
I’m agreeing with almost everyone that once I’ve decided to leave, no amount of money will get me to day. They underpaid you before, they’ll do it again. Time to leave. Now, that doesn’t always have to happen. My wife turned an offer from another company into a promotion and hefty raise at her current company. That was a bit of a special situation though - my wife REALLY did not want to work for other company, and the promotion was exactly what she wanted but hadn’t gotten at her current company. I’m surprised nobody has called **kunilou** on his “you may never work here after turning down an offer”. Like, geez, dude, that’s just business. Do you blacklist any of your employees that leave for greener pastures also? If I had been that poor woman, I would have been thinking “Man, I dodged a bullet there”. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-handle-a-counter-offer-if-you-give-your-notice/658833/15 "2013-05-20T20:08:34Z")
> [@yellowjacketcoder](#): > > I’m surprised nobody has called **kunilou** on his “you may never work here after turning down an offer”. Like, geez, dude, that’s just business. Do you blacklist any of your employees that leave for greener pastures also? If I had been that poor woman, I would have been thinking “Man, I dodged a bullet there”. Technically, the prospective employee accepted the offer and then backed out. That is a little different–unless she was pressured to accept the first offer at the table and did not have time to discuss things with her current boss. ---
**Author:** ![Enginerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bcef8e/32.png) [@Enginerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enginerd)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-handle-a-counter-offer-if-you-give-your-notice/658833/16 "2013-05-20T20:09:16Z")
> [@yellowjacketcoder](#): > > I’m surprised nobody has called **kunilou** on his “you may never work here after turning down an offer”. Like, geez, dude, that’s just business. Do you blacklist any of your employees that leave for greener pastures also? If I had been that poor woman, I would have been thinking “Man, I dodged a bullet there”. Read that post again - the candidate didn’t turn down the offer - (s)he accepted it and then reneged. There’s no problem with turning down an offer, but that’s out of bounds. ETA: Yeah, what **Manda Jo** said. ---
**Author:** ![yellowjacketcoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/4bbf92/32.png) [@yellowjacketcoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowjacketcoder)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-handle-a-counter-offer-if-you-give-your-notice/658833/17 "2013-05-20T20:27:42Z")
> [@MandaJo](#): > > Technically, the prospective employee accepted the offer and then backed out. That is a little different–unless she was pressured to accept the first offer at the table and did not have time to discuss things with her current boss. [QUOTE=Enginerd] Read that post again - the candidate didn’t turn down the offer - (s)he accepted it and then reneged. There’s no problem with turning down an offer, but that’s out of bounds. ETA: Yeah, what Manda Jo said. [/QUOTE] No, I read it just fine the first time. I just don’t see it as a big deal. Sure, it’s not a nice thing to do, but if **kunilou** ’s first reaction on hearing she was backing out was a metaphorical “F U”, I would think she’s happy to be backing out. Neither of the people in that story come out smelling roses, but the real stink was not with the unnamed job-accepter. ---
**Author:** ![Blaster\_Master](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cab0a1/32.png) [@Blaster\_Master](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blaster_Master)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-handle-a-counter-offer-if-you-give-your-notice/658833/18 "2013-05-20T21:21:01Z")
> [@Winston\_Smith](#): > > I’ve talked to my boss a couple times about it, but he just blows me off. I’m going to agree with most of the people in the thread and say that you probably shouldn’t accept it. Based on that quote, I’m inclined to think they’re not likely to counteroffer and, if they do, it may be questionable how sincere they really are. Honestly, I’m under paid as well and if I were to look for a new job but got a counteroffer, I’d probably be willing to stay, but ultimately wouldn’t because I also wouldn’t put it beyond them to hold onto me long enough to find a replacement then fire me, but that may be more a symptom of government contracting, where filling a billet is more important than actual competence. > [@](#): > > Should I sanitize my offer letter (i.e. remove anything that identifies the company) and show them? I wouldn’t bother with this either. If they’re going to make a counteroffer, it shouldn’t matter what the other company offered you. Based on what they offer you, decide what it would it would take for you to stay. What if the other company has better benefits or is closer to home or it’s work you like better? It would probably take a bit more than they’re offering for you to stay. Or maybe it’s a longer commute and not something you’re too enthusiastic about doing but the pay increase is just too much to ignore. Maybe you’d be willing to stay for a bit less. Either way, if you’re going to be open to negotiating on staying, figure out what it would take before you go in, let them make a counter offer, and if it’s close, maybe you can haggle up, and if not, you can just turn it down. Either way, your new salary just isn’t their business, all that matters is what you want and if they’re willing to pay that or not. And if not, well, you were going to leave anyway. ---
**Author:** ![NeonMadman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/58f4c7/32.png) [@NeonMadman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NeonMadman)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-handle-a-counter-offer-if-you-give-your-notice/658833/19 "2013-05-20T21:24:14Z")
> [@JerrySTL](#): > > Never, ever take a counter-offer. > > 1. Management will consider you ‘disloyal’ and you’ll be first on the chopping block if they need to do a reduction in force. I agree, as have many others. Some employers use counter-offers as a way of temporarily retaining employees whom they now consider to be “disloyal” for as long as it takes them to find a replacement. And they avoid the inconvenience of being short an employee while they are looking. You still end up out of the company, just on their terms and time frame rather than your own. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-handle-a-counter-offer-if-you-give-your-notice/658833/20 "2013-05-20T22:09:10Z")
> [@yellowjacketcoder](#): > > No, I read it just fine the first time. I just don’t see it as a big deal. Sure, it’s not a nice thing to do, but if **kunilou** ’s first reaction on hearing she was backing out was a metaphorical “F U”, I would think she’s happy to be backing out. I wouldn’t say anything nasty, but I’d think long and hard about making anyone who did this an offer again - or even interviewing them. It isn’t just the two of you. Perhaps there were some other people, nearly as good, who you turned down when someone accepted the offer. If you go back to them you are at best telling them they were second choice and worst possibly losing out. It is foolish to think one can do this without ramifications. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-handle-a-counter-offer-if-you-give-your-notice/658833.md?page=2)