# How Do You Interpret Rupert Holmes' "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)" **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 4, 2019, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-interpret-rupert-holmes-escape-the-pina-colada-song/839694 "2019-09-04T17:10:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2019, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-interpret-rupert-holmes-escape-the-pina-colada-song/839694/41 "2019-09-05T18:10:56Z")
There is an old European . . . stage play? . . . opera? . . . where a husband and wife are both cheating. Each tries to get their friends to introduce them to someone new, who is really good in bed. Eventually, they end up hooking up with each other. I can’t remember the title. [A Flea In Her Ear](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Flea_in_Her_Ear_(film)) was a modern take on the meme. Anyway, I think Rupert Holmes just put his own spin on the meme. When they end up with their own spouse, we have a hearty laugh, and we don’t really care what happened afterward. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2019, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-interpret-rupert-holmes-escape-the-pina-colada-song/839694/42 "2019-09-05T18:29:55Z")
> [@Wheelz](#): > > I really don’t think there’s much below the surface of that song. > Guy decides to cheat on and/or dump his wife/girlfriend (it’s not clear which), so he places an ad in the personals (which actually used to be an actual thing in actual paper newspapers). In a crazy twist of fate, his “own lovely lady” is the one who answers the ad, and they realize they were meant for each other all along. > \* > If there’s any message, I guess it’s to appreciate what you already have. > > (For the record, I don’t hate it. But it’s surely not a masterpiece of 20th-century musicianship.)\* No, you have it backwards. Wife decides to cheat on Husband. Husband answers ad. And I like it, but not too often. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2019, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-interpret-rupert-holmes-escape-the-pina-colada-song/839694/43 "2019-09-05T18:45:16Z")
We have no idea how many times either has cheated, this song is about the time both got caught. They’ll stay together though, I know a few couples like this. No doubt the story will be brought up by one or both of them at cocktail parties for decades while the other guests give each other faces. ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2019, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-interpret-rupert-holmes-escape-the-pina-colada-song/839694/44 "2019-09-05T19:13:44Z")
To clarify, my take is that each partner is looking to \*dump \*their SO, not cheat. Perhaps the latter is a prerequisite to the former? ---
**Author:** ![Noelq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noelq/32/16438_2.png) [@Noelq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noelq)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2019, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-interpret-rupert-holmes-escape-the-pina-colada-song/839694/45 "2019-09-05T19:33:25Z")
Two people are bored in a relationship. They don’t talk about being bored. Instead, they decide to escape from the relationship. They then find out that they were both bored, and wanted more excitement. It made them talk about their issues. They then bang under the stars. And break up in six months, because they haven’t talked about their religious differences, childrasing differences, STD’s, or finances. Because people never learn. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2019, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-interpret-rupert-holmes-escape-the-pina-colada-song/839694/46 "2019-09-05T19:38:43Z")
> [@Horatius](#): > > It’s a cautionary tale about the perils of not being open with your partner about what you really want. If either of them had bitten the bullet and admitted they wanted pina coladas et al., the other would have either jumped at it, and re-affirmed their relationship, or suddenly realized how stupid those desires were, allowing them to end the relationship on an honest basis. > Now it’s just awkward. +1 ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2019, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-interpret-rupert-holmes-escape-the-pina-colada-song/839694/47 "2019-09-05T20:00:49Z")
I think the relationship was over before the song started, and the woman knows it, but hasn’t actually committed to leaving yet. And I think the guy must be clueless, or the woman is an alcoholic. The first thing she is concerned with is a (trendy at the time) alcoholic drink? And he doesn’t know she likes it? Either he hasn’t been paying attention to what she drinks at all, or she drinks so much that what she drinks doesn’t register. But I think both of them are looking for the first rush of a new relationship rather that the long haul I hear this song way too much on the oldies station and I’ve started filling in the woman’s thoughts at the end of the song. This is what the singer says (and my reactions) > [@](#): > > That you liked Pina Coladas, _Yeah, but not yours because they suck. I told you that mint doesn’t belong in Pina Coladas_ > [@](#): > > and getting caught in the rain _The minute it looks like rain you’re hurrying us inside because you don’t want your fancy shirts getting wet. Of course you don’t know this._ > [@](#): > > And the feel of the ocean, _Where did I say that?_ > [@](#): > > and the taste of champagne _Maybe because you’re too cheap to buy it?_ > [@](#): > > If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape _You’re in bed every night by 10. No way you’d be out of the house late enough to go to the beach._ > [@](#): > > You’re the love that I’ve looked for, come with me, and escape _Well, since you’re the person I was trying to escape from… sigh_ I remember Rupert Holmes as writing a number of songs about cultural trends - personal ads, answering machines, etc. - that were kind of joke songs. (Although I’m trying to find more than those two and coming up with only songs about being 20-something and single.) ---
**Author:** ![actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/actualliberalnotoneofthose)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2019, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-interpret-rupert-holmes-escape-the-pina-colada-song/839694/48 "2019-09-06T00:27:10Z")
> [@Temporary\_Name](#): > > For example Bill Murray’s character from STRIPES loses his girlfriend in the first reel and it hardly has any impact. Things were just more temporary and transient in those days from my perspective and I think the value of the song is that it captured that time perfectly. One could reading the personals while one’s significant other slept next to them—and later a relationship can be rekindled by some very shallow information. I get what you are saying here and I find most of the responses in this thread to be very conservative and moralistic, from a family values traditional relationship sort of perspective. There are a lot of assumptions about the type of relationship and people these characters were. I was born in 1979, so I wasn’t around for the 70s. However, I’ve always assumed that the '70s were a little more casual and “free” and the AIDS/Reagan eras came along with more “tradition” and monogamy. now things, IMHO, are a little more back in the other direction. I know very few people in (working/effective) traditional monogamous relationships now. ---
**Author:** ![FlikTheBlue](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fliktheblue/32/10972_2.png) [@FlikTheBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlikTheBlue)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2019, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-interpret-rupert-holmes-escape-the-pina-colada-song/839694/49 "2019-09-06T12:30:17Z")
> [@Noelq](#): > > Two people are bored in a relationship. > > They don’t talk about being bored. Instead, they decide to escape from the relationship. > > They then find out that they were both bored, and wanted more excitement. It made them talk about their issues. > > They then bang under the stars. And break up in six months, because they haven’t talked about their religious differences, childrasing differences, STD’s, or finances. > > Because people never learn. I’ve always pictured the couple as being in their 40s and having been married about 20 years or so. I think they have already discussed and lived through all those things you mention. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2019, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-interpret-rupert-holmes-escape-the-pina-colada-song/839694/50 "2019-09-06T13:07:31Z")
As a couple posters mentioned above, this is a song set in the casual relationship era. The relationship may be “doomed” eventually but it doesn’t feel like either party seems to think it’s supposed to be a lifetime commitment in the first place. So they are both bored and decide to move on. I would say the message of the song is pretty positive in that it’s saying, maybe the relationship wouldn’t have fallen into the same old dull routine if they had talked about what they wanted. ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2019, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-interpret-rupert-holmes-escape-the-pina-colada-song/839694/51 "2019-09-06T15:48:12Z")
> [@CarnalK](#): > > I would say the message of the song is pretty positive in that it’s saying, maybe the relationship wouldn’t have fallen into the same old dull routine if they had talked about what they wanted. This. I think that this song is not intended as literal relationship advice, and those who choose to interpret it through that lens are . . . well, are welcome to do so, but then this song is hardly unique or remarkable in the world of popular lyrics that portray unhealthy or logically flawed relationships/decision making, yet somehow bears the brunt of popular criticism. Against the backdrop of a long term but probably not married relationship, we get a simple story of people who discover that their dissatisfaction was a product of their failure to talk about what they wanted. And then they ride off into the sunset. Yes, it’s basic. Yes, in reality it’s likely going to be much more complicated. Yes, it’s not deep literature. But, it holds together quite well in a feel-good-movie kinda way, and is internally consistent. ---
**Author:** ![Royal\_Nonesutch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecb155/32.png) [@Royal\_Nonesutch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Royal_Nonesutch)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2019, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-interpret-rupert-holmes-escape-the-pina-colada-song/839694/52 "2019-09-06T18:40:44Z")
> [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](#): > > I know very few people in (working/effective) traditional monogamous relationships now. How terribly sophisticated and Continental of you. ---
**Author:** ![Thuringwethil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@Thuringwethil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thuringwethil)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2019, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-interpret-rupert-holmes-escape-the-pina-colada-song/839694/53 "2019-09-06T18:42:03Z")
> [@Zyada](#): > > I remember Rupert Holmes as writing a number of songs about cultural trends - personal ads, answering machines, etc. - that were kind of joke songs. (Although I’m trying to find more than those two and coming up with only songs about being 20-something and single.) Let’s not forget “Timothy” 😃 [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/OqDu5LBT8_Y/maxresdefault.jpg "Timothy \*\*\* The Buoys") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqDu5LBT8_Y) ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2019, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-interpret-rupert-holmes-escape-the-pina-colada-song/839694/54 "2019-09-06T19:03:41Z")
1. THEY think their relationship is reaffirmed 2. Their friends all had their fingers crossed, hoping for a breakup because they’re terrible together 3. They will have a night of earnest but ultimately unsatisfying sex following the end of the song. Over coffee and toast the next morning they will start to fight over the cheating thing, but they will quickly realize they were both despicable. They will bond over the fact that they enjoy each other’s company but that they both want more. They will become a swinger team, always on the lookout for a third strange. They will enter their hunting grounds separately, pretending not to know each other. One will chat up the strange, and when it’s looking like a hit the other will slide up and begin to compete for the strange’s favor. This goes on until the strange either walks away from these two psychos, or suggests they all just play together. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2019, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-interpret-rupert-holmes-escape-the-pina-colada-song/839694/55 "2019-09-06T20:46:36Z")
> [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](#): > > I get what you are saying here and I find most of the responses in this thread to be very conservative and moralistic, from a family values traditional relationship sort of perspective. There are a lot of assumptions about the type of relationship and people these characters were. I was born in 1979, so I wasn’t around for the 70s. However, I’ve always assumed that the '70s were a little more casual and “free” and the AIDS/Reagan eras came along with more “tradition” and monogamy. now things, IMHO, are a little more back in the other direction. I know very few people in (working/effective) traditional monogamous relationships now. I know a ton of people in open/poly relationships, but that’s absolutely not what the song is talking about. The issue with the song isn’t wanting to have sex with someone other than your partner, it’s lying to your partner and violating boundaries you’d agreed not to violate. The couple in the song are, apparently, in a (nominally) monogamous relationship. I’m not especially pro-monogamy, but if someone tells their partner they’re exclusive, and then sleeps around, they’re kind of a scumbag. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2019, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-interpret-rupert-holmes-escape-the-pina-colada-song/839694/56 "2019-09-06T21:25:49Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I know a ton of people in open/poly relationships, but that’s absolutely not what the song is talking about. The issue with the song isn’t wanting to have sex with someone other than your partner, it’s lying to your partner and violating boundaries you’d agreed not to violate. The couple in the song are, apparently, in a (nominally) monogamous relationship. I’m not especially pro-monogamy, but if someone tells their partner they’re exclusive, and then sleeps around, they’re kind of a scumbag. Well, they hadn’t yet. They were considering it. He admits “I didn’t think about my lady, I know that sounds kind of mean…”. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2019, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-interpret-rupert-holmes-escape-the-pina-colada-song/839694/57 "2019-09-06T21:38:14Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Several years ago there was a new report about a couple who apparently actually experienced this phenomenon – both placed personal ads and ended up inadvertently meting each other. as I recall, it didn’t do much for their relationship. > > I’m not surprised they hooked up again – despite the song lyrics, you’re likely to write an ad looking for someone like your current SO, and so are they. There’s a pretty good chance of being set up with your prospective ex. > > I really have a hard time imagining that this would make their bond better – they were both actively looking for a new partner on the sly, which has got to make you suspicious, even if you learn more commonalities from the experience. I remember an episode of _Eight Is Enough_ that played with this trope. The elder brother, the carpenter - David, can’t remember the actor - gets set up for a double date with his buddy and girlfriend. The two guys walk up to the movie theater and David meets his blind date…his sister. Kinda cute, because they played it for laughs. “Haven’t we met before? In Cabo?” “No, I think it was St. Tropez”. ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2019, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-interpret-rupert-holmes-escape-the-pina-colada-song/839694/58 "2019-09-07T03:38:35Z")
The line that would be a deal-breaker for me is “if you have half a brain”. I would take that as an assertion that her current partner (me) was lacking such. Of course the characters in the song don’t seem to _have_ half a brain, so maybe the guy takes it as an accurate assessment of his strengths and weaknesses. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2019, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-interpret-rupert-holmes-escape-the-pina-colada-song/839694/59 "2019-09-07T09:18:44Z")
> [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](#): > > The elder brother, the carpenter - David, can’t remember the actor Grant Goodeve! I pulled that from the IMDb I have in my brain. Useless trivia like this is packed in there tight, including that David was played by Mark Hamill in the pilot episode. ---
**Author:** ![Royal\_Nonesutch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecb155/32.png) [@Royal\_Nonesutch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Royal_Nonesutch)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2019, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-interpret-rupert-holmes-escape-the-pina-colada-song/839694/60 "2019-09-07T09:51:59Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > Grant Goodeve! I pulled that from the IMDb I have in my brain. ## I did the same, and I also remembered an equally useless bit of trivia that you doubtless overlooked mentioning, namely that Grant Goodeve also sang the “Eight Is Enough” theme song that played during the opening credits. “There’s a plate of homemade wishes on the kitchen windowsill, and Eight is Enough to fill our lives with love.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-interpret-rupert-holmes-escape-the-pina-colada-song/839694.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-interpret-rupert-holmes-escape-the-pina-colada-song/839694.md?page=4)