# How do you know if a girl likes you or not? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 24, 2013, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-girl-likes-you-or-not/659256 "2013-05-24T19:30:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![AngelTorres](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b4bc9f/32.png) [@AngelTorres](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelTorres)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2013, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-girl-likes-you-or-not/659256/1 "2013-05-24T19:30:50Z")
Ok, I’m 13, I know that’s a little young but I have this\*\* major crush\*\* on a girl;). We are like total best friends for a long time. However, I sometimes feel she wants to be than that. Why not just ask her…because I’m afraid that if she says no things will get _awkward_. So, how do I find out without asking her??? ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2013, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-girl-likes-you-or-not/659256/2 "2013-05-24T19:41:31Z")
Ask her friends. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2013, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-girl-likes-you-or-not/659256/3 "2013-05-24T19:51:44Z")
Does she smile more than frown when you are talking to her? Does she seem excited to see you or talk to you? Does she make excuses to contact you? Like ask easy questions? Usually, when someone likes you, you just have to open your eyes and the signs are obvious. Of course the opposite is true as well, don’t be so blinded with a crush you don’t notice her avoiding you, rolling her eyes, laughing with her friends as you walk away. It takes courage to look objectively at her actions, and even harder to admit to yourself, that no, she doesn’t really have to visit her cousin in the hospital every time you ask her out. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2013, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-girl-likes-you-or-not/659256/4 "2013-05-24T19:56:19Z")
> [@AngelTorres](#): > > Ok, I’m 13, I know that’s a little young but I have this\*\* major crush\*\* on a girl;). We are like total best friends for a long time. However, I sometimes feel she wants to be than that. Why not just ask her…because I’m afraid that if she says no things will get _awkward_. So, how do I find out without asking her??? **Moderator Note** **AngelTorres** , the General Questions forum is for questions with factual answers. If you want advice, the best forum for that is IMHO. So far, you’ve started three threads, all of which I had to move from GQ to IMHO. Please pay more attention to the forum descriptions when starting threads. Thank you for your attention. Colibri General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![AngelTorres](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b4bc9f/32.png) [@AngelTorres](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelTorres)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2013, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-girl-likes-you-or-not/659256/5 "2013-05-24T19:58:20Z")
> [@xizor](#): > > Does she smile more than frown when you are talking to her? > Does she seem excited to see you or talk to you? > Does she make excuses to contact you? Like ask easy questions? > > Usually, when someone likes you, you just have to open your eyes and the signs are obvious. > Of course the opposite is true as well, don’t be so blinded with a crush you don’t notice her avoiding you, rolling her eyes, laughing with her friends as you walk away. > > It takes courage to look objectively at her actions, and even harder to admit to yourself, that no, she doesn’t really have to visit her cousin in the hospital every time you ask her out. Um.. the cousin part… has that ever happen to you? ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2013, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-girl-likes-you-or-not/659256/6 "2013-05-24T20:09:33Z")
\*\*Angel, \*\*you can ask her. Just don’t try to, shall I say, make any romantic moves on her unless you’re absolutely sure that she feels that way. I say this because I was the girl in a situation like that (one of my best male friends was doing romantic stuff to me,) and I didn’t like it one bit. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2013, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-girl-likes-you-or-not/659256/7 "2013-05-24T20:10:44Z")
> [@AngelTorres](#): > > Um.. the cousin part… has that ever happen to you? That, or anything similar, happens with great regularity. When you ask a girl out for a date, if she doesn’t want to go out with you — in fact, when you invite _anyone_ to go anywhere or do anything with you, and if that person doesn’t want to — you will commonly get some phony excuse. It will often be a lame excuse that you can tell is phony. They will almost always give you some excuse, rather than come right out and say “No, I don’t want to go out with you.” Suggested strategy: If this happens to you, you can try asking again in another week. If you get another excuse (_any excuse_, lame or otherwise), then the message is fairly clear: _Forget it. Forever._ If you’re not sure about that, you might try asking a third time. But if you get turned down for a date three times in a row, the message is absolutely clear: Forget it. See this current thread in MPSIMS for further discussion: [When someone turns down an invitation with a lame reason, just accept it, okay?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=691614) ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2013, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-girl-likes-you-or-not/659256/8 "2013-05-24T20:18:26Z")
I highly recommend asking her out on a date. Say something like this, “Hey [girl’s name], I know we’ve been friends for [period of time], but I was wondering if you’d like to go out on a date this [Friday/Saturday/Sunday] to [popular teen activity that she will like, probably a movie]. If you want to just continue to be friends though, that’s cool too.” It won’t make the friendship awkward, I promise. This happens a lot in the adult world and people can still be friends. The only thing that will make it awkward is if you continue to develop feelings for her to the point that you are madly in love with someone who doesn’t know it, and doesn’t return it. If you get it out of the way now, and get rejected now, early on, you can move on and start focusing your feelings elsewhere. Good luck ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2013, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-girl-likes-you-or-not/659256/9 "2013-05-24T20:26:09Z")
“Do not be too timid or squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more you make the better. So what if you fail? So what if your coat gets get torn and you get rolled up in the dirt once or twice? Up again, you shall never be so afraid of a tumble.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2013, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-girl-likes-you-or-not/659256/10 "2013-05-24T20:31:39Z")
At 13, the OP may be too young to be allowed to date. Or she may be. So maybe telling him to ask her out won’t work. ---
**Author:** ![RedSwinglineOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a9adbd/32.png) [@RedSwinglineOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedSwinglineOne)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2013, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-girl-likes-you-or-not/659256/11 "2013-05-24T20:37:12Z")
> [@AngelTorres](#): > > **How do you know if a girl likes you or not?** It’s in her kiss. > [@](#): > > Does she love me I wanna know > How can I tell if she loves me so > > Is it in her eyes (No no you’ll be deceived) > Is it in her sighs (No no she’ll make believe) > If you wanna know if she loves you so > It’s in her kiss (That’s where it is) > … The Hollies know of what they speak. ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2013, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-girl-likes-you-or-not/659256/12 "2013-05-24T20:38:54Z")
> [@AngelTorres](#): > > […]I’m 13[…]We are like total best friends **for a long time**. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2013, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-girl-likes-you-or-not/659256/13 "2013-05-24T20:41:23Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > :dubious: “Long time” has a different definition when you’re that young. ---
**Author:** ![Washoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecae2f/32.png) [@Washoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washoe)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2013, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-girl-likes-you-or-not/659256/14 "2013-05-24T21:45:19Z")
Does she play with her hair when you talk to her? In my experience, that’s a guaranteed sign of physical/emotional attraction. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2013, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-girl-likes-you-or-not/659256/15 "2013-05-24T21:55:05Z")
> [@kittenblue](#): > > At 13, the OP may be too young to be allowed to date. Or she may be. So maybe telling him to ask her out won’t work. Or maybe it will.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![md2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@md2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/md2000)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2013, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-girl-likes-you-or-not/659256/16 "2013-05-24T21:57:00Z")
The excuse in the Good Old Days was “I have to wash my hair” (on Saturday night…) Showed up in a TV commercial of the day, she uses that excuse and geeky creepy guy launches into the virtues of this new shampoo that works great, her hair will be clean and ready to go in no time. “can we go out now?” No, then she has to take her dog to the vet or something… My advice. Just talk to her, ask her about things she’s interested in, etc. Work your way into it, then ask her out. Maybe she does not know what you are like. Let her find out. If it turns out she does not want to chat, be friends, go out, etc. - then understand that rejection is a part of life, there are lots of fish in the sea, and every other bad cliche. (S\*\*\* happens.) ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2013, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-girl-likes-you-or-not/659256/17 "2013-05-24T22:13:07Z")
The important part of making an ask-out go smoothly is giving a specific place, time, and event. Saying “Sara, would you like to go out sometime?” leaves her in the awkward situation of having to let you down easy or the awkward situation of having to confirm her love for you ‘publicly’ right there on the spot. Neither is good for your chances. Instead, go with “Sara, would you like to see The Hunger Games with me this Friday?” Then she doesn’t have to choose a boyfriend right then and there, but can rather just accept or reject that certain invitation. You may wonder how you’ll know if she’s turning you down or just turning that specific option down. The answer is that if she likes you but doesn’t want to go to the movie, she’ll suggest something else to do or otherwise make it clear that she wants to spend time with you but just can’t make it to the movie.🙂 If she just says something like “No, I don’t think so,” then you know you struck out. ☹ > [@md2000](#): > > The excuse in the Good Old Days was “I have to wash my hair” (on Saturday night…) > Showed up in a TV commercial of the day, she uses that excuse and geeky creepy guy launches into the virtues of this new shampoo that works great, her hair will be clean and ready to go in no time. “can we go out now?” No, then she has to take her dog to the vet or something I recall a commercial where the man calls up girl #2, who is also washing her hair. Same for girls #3 and #4. Turns out, he’s actually quite attractive, but they love their shampoo so much, all they do is wash their hair over and over. ---
**Author:** ![SandyHook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dec6dc/32.png) [@SandyHook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SandyHook)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2013, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-girl-likes-you-or-not/659256/18 "2013-05-24T22:19:33Z")
> [@RedSwinglineOne](#): > > It’s in her kiss. > > The Hollies know of what they speak. Wasn’t this the Shoop, Shoop song by Betty Everett? ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2013, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-girl-likes-you-or-not/659256/19 "2013-05-24T22:55:41Z")
**AngelTorres** , thank you for reminding me why I didn’t waste my time and effort on having kids. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2013, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-girl-likes-you-or-not/659256/20 "2013-05-24T23:04:57Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > **AngelTorres** , thank you for reminding me why I didn’t waste my time and effort on having kids. Well that was rather uncalled for. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-girl-likes-you-or-not/659256.md?page=2)