# How do you know if a stripper "likes" you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 25, 2015, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-stripper-likes-you/723427 "2015-06-25T06:46:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Nars\_Glinley](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nars_glinley/32/8177_2.png) [@Nars\_Glinley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nars_Glinley)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2015, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-stripper-likes-you/723427/41 "2015-06-26T18:47:31Z")
They let you wear sweat pants. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2015, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-stripper-likes-you/723427/42 "2015-06-26T21:24:32Z")
> [@The Great Sun Jester](#): > > While I’m sure it’s an unconscious habit to be sweet, it seems a little harsh to assume it’s rooted entirely in greed. **Dangerosa** observes strip club patrons can be awful, but if you pay attention you’ll find customers aren’t all that much better at your run of the mill restaurant or bar. You could be getting genuine smiles and service simply because you’re not being a creep. > > As for OP: Yeah, if you aren’t sure then it’s part of the show. I have to assume if a stripper is actually digging on you ferreals she’ll break character and say so in no uncertain terms. I repeat, I’m not complaining! If a 20 year old girl wants to flirt with a married geezer like me, I don’t mind. I just don’t take her smile and her sweet talk to mean anything serious. If I DID take her flirtation seriously and asked her out, I’m pretty sure she’d say “In your DREAMS, grandpa!” ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2015, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-stripper-likes-you/723427/43 "2015-06-26T23:57:37Z")
Heh, yeah, you and me both **astorian** … unless of course we can successfully impersonate a certain Hugh M. Hefner. > [@Nars\_Glinley](#): > > They let you wear sweat pants. 😃 well, that means either they like you or you’re in a dive. ---
**Author:** ![bb49](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b38774/32.png) [@bb49](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bb49)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2015, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-stripper-likes-you/723427/44 "2015-06-27T04:10:34Z")
Mine wasn’t a stripper. She was a hooker. Back when I was in university, a bunch of us guys would go out to the bars most Friday nights, often starting at this nightclub early, before moving on to do some serious drinking. This particular club ran about a hundred girls, all high class. We would just sit and have a beer and talk to the girls before the club got busy. This one girl and I really struck it up. She was working her way through school. So one time I asked her out. Nothing special, just headed down to a large park and walked along a seawall. Long story short, we got together many times over several months. We never went further than holding hands, arms around each other and a couple of kisses. Why we didn’t go further may have had something to do with her job. Neither one of us pressed the issue. The following year I ran into her. She was still in school as was I, but I was in a committed relationship. We reminised about the previous year and she said she now was too busy at school to have a part time job. I often wonder how things would have gone if we had met at a later time. Right girl, wrong time. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2015, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-stripper-likes-you/723427/45 "2015-06-27T11:15:35Z")
It’s not like it’s impossible for a stripper to be attracted to you. They are human beings. But if you are the kind of guy who regularly attracts attention from attractive young women, you’d probably know it. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2015, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-stripper-likes-you/723427/46 "2015-06-27T13:14:43Z")
Reading the OP, I don’t get the impression he wants to know if the stripper wants-to-date-him-likes-him. It’s more like “how do I know she doesn’t actually think I’m creepy/pathetic/disgusting”? On one hand, I’m like this with all service people. The idea that a server at a restaurant or the person cutting my hair or the custodian that cleans my room might think I’m rude/tacky/demanding fills me with horror. For me, at least, I think it’s because I have a deeply ambiguous relationship both with class differences and with being waited on. I really like being waited on, honestly–everything from having someone bring me my drink to not having to load my own moving truck. But it also opens up huge wells of insecurity about what’s wrong with me that I need someone to do so, of guilt at my own self-indulgence, of fear that I’m dehumanizing others. I mean, it’s not overwhelming, but it’s always there. So yeah. If I were to go to a stripper (unlikely), I’d really want to know she didn’t hate me for it. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2015, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-stripper-likes-you/723427/47 "2015-06-27T13:20:57Z")
Missed edit: So yeah. If I were to go to a stripper (unlikely), I’d really want to know she didn’t hate me for it. I want my custodian at work to think I’m a mensch because it embarrasses me that someone else takes out my trash. I’m sure I’d feel the same if I thought someone was doing something I’d find humiliating for me. ---
**Author:** ![Patch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Patch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patch)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2015, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-stripper-likes-you/723427/48 "2015-06-27T17:16:33Z")
[How about asking at a stripper forum?](https://www.stripperweb.com/forum/forum.php) ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2015, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-stripper-likes-you/723427/49 "2015-06-27T17:59:32Z")
> [@Patch](#): > > [How about asking at a stripper forum?](https://www.stripperweb.com/forum/forum.php) Do they have polls? Poles? ---
**Author:** ![Habeed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a587f6/32.png) [@Habeed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Habeed)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2015, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-stripper-likes-you/723427/50 "2015-06-27T18:20:10Z")
It seems to me that the best measurement of this would be how much time the stripper spends with you _without_ being paid for it. If she rushes you into buying a bunch of lapdances, she probably doesn’t like you very much. If she sits on your lap and lets you give her a back rub and doesn’t charge you for dances for an hour, she may like you a little. If she’s really cute and she offers you a chance to see her outside the club and have sex with her, she may like you a little. If she has sex with you and hangs out with you without being paid somewhere for a few hours before or after, she may actually like you. The thing is, women are so complicated, who knows? Women you actually date you can barely tell, they can have these super complex reasons that you’ll never figure out. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2015, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-stripper-likes-you/723427/51 "2015-06-27T18:25:32Z")
If she _really_ likes you, she’ll pay _you_ after the lap dance, and smoke a cigarette. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2015, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-stripper-likes-you/723427/52 "2015-06-27T20:59:48Z")
> [@Rune](#): > > Strippers and lap-dances are such stupid things. That’s like pixilated Japanese porn. Buy a real whore if you can’t get it any other way. Otherwise take a crowded public transport, that way you get lapdanes for free - of course the lapdancer might be a 56yo bald and fat guy. That’s an oddly specific metaphor. ---
**Author:** ![protoboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/fbc32d/32.png) [@protoboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/protoboard)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2015, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-stripper-likes-you/723427/53 "2015-06-30T07:35:14Z")
> [@Habeed](#): > > It seems to me that the best measurement of this would be how much time the stripper spends with you _without_ being paid for it. If she rushes you into buying a bunch of lapdances, she probably doesn’t like you very much. If she sits on your lap and lets you give her a back rub and doesn’t charge you for dances for an hour, she may like you a little. > > If she’s really cute and she offers you a chance to see her outside the club and have sex with her, she may like you a little. If she has sex with you and hangs out with you without being paid somewhere for a few hours before or after, she may actually like you. > > The thing is, women are so complicated, who knows? Women you actually date you can barely tell, they can have these super complex reasons that you’ll never figure out. Well, me and the girl did make out even after the lap dance was over and she said I was “too good to be true” at one point. She suggested places to go eat, but unfortunately I didn’t have any more money so I just told her it sounds good rather than offer to take her there. ☹ Maybe next time I’ll ask if “Carly” is there that night 😃 ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2015, 8:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-stripper-likes-you/723427/54 "2015-06-30T08:43:48Z")
> [@protoboard](#): > > Well, me and the girl did make out even after the lap dance was over and she said I was “too good to be true” at one point. She suggested places to go eat, but unfortunately I didn’t have any more money so I just told her it sounds good rather than offer to take her there. ☹ Maybe next time I’ll ask if “Carly” is there that night 😃 Let me point out something in two parts. > [@](#): > > Well, me and the girl did make out even after the lap dance was over and she said I was “too good to be true” at one point. > [@](#): > > Maybe next time I’ll ask if “Carly” is there that night 😃 Do you see a connection? You’re shopping for car parts at the green grocer. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2015, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-stripper-likes-you/723427/55 "2015-06-30T11:20:59Z")
> [@protoboard](#): > > Well, me and the girl did make out even after the lap dance was over and she said I was “too good to be true” at one point. She suggested places to go eat, but unfortunately **I didn’t have any more money** so I just told her it sounds good rather than offer to take her there. ☹ Maybe next time I’ll ask if “Carly” is there that night 😃 LOL. Dude, let me give you some advice on relationships or would be relationships: If you’re putting more into it than you’re getting out of it… STAY AWAY! So what did you do for the rest of the week? Live on Ramen noodles til your next paycheck? Do you really want to torture yourself like that? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2015, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-stripper-likes-you/723427/56 "2015-06-30T11:52:43Z")
“Sorry, but I’m tapped out. If you wanna go out for a bite, you’ll have to pick up the check.” Then you’ll know. ---
**Author:** ![racepug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@racepug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racepug)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2015, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-stripper-likes-you/723427/57 "2015-06-30T18:15:06Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > LOL. > > Dude, let me give you some advice on relationships or would be relationships: **If you’re putting more into it than you’re getting out of it… STAY AWAY!** > > So what did you do for the rest of the week? Live on Ramen noodles til your next paycheck? Do you really want to torture yourself like that? Some of the best advice you’ll EVER read. That, right there, is definitely one thing that I think separates most older people from most younger ones when it comes to relationships: the tolerance level for putting into the relationship more (sometimes MUCH more) than you’re getting out of it goes WAAAAAY down. At least, that’s how I feel that it’s gone for ME. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-know-if-a-stripper-likes-you/723427.md?page=2)