# How do you learn to live in the present? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 10, 2012, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-learn-to-live-in-the-present/643573 "2012-12-10T04:29:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Quasimodal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/57b2e6/32.png) [@Quasimodal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodal)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-learn-to-live-in-the-present/643573/1 "2012-12-10T04:29:33Z")
One of my largest character flaws is that my mind tends to drift to the future or dwell on the past far too often. I never really understood how big of a problem it is for me until recently. I probably could be far more productive and enjoy life more if I could just stay in the present moment. Are there any books or strategies on this topic? ---
**Author:** ![IceQube](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@IceQube](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IceQube)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-learn-to-live-in-the-present/643573/2 "2012-12-10T04:35:10Z")
When you find yourself drifting, think: “What do I have to be grateful for at this moment?” ---
**Author:** ![harmonicamoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/65b543/32.png) [@harmonicamoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmonicamoon)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-learn-to-live-in-the-present/643573/3 "2012-12-10T04:49:26Z")
I highly recommend The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. It is incredible! One of the very few books I have read more than once. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-learn-to-live-in-the-present/643573/4 "2012-12-10T15:45:46Z")
Try Zen. _Being Zen_ by Ezra Bayda is the first book I ever read about Zen Buddhism, and it has by far been the clearest and most beginner-friendly (also he has a great sequel called _At Home in the Muddy Water_.) Thich Nhat Hanh is great too: _No Death, No Fear, Peace is Every Step_, and more. While I respect the classic/ancient writings, they are a little too abstract for me. But the truth is, you learn to live in the moment by practicing living in the moment. You can read 20 books and it won’t really mean anything until you actually sit down to meditate. I like to start with my breath because it’s always with me… there is no situation in which I cannot find my breath. I can meditate in the car, in my chair at work, running through a park, wherever. Practice whenever you can. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-learn-to-live-in-the-present/643573/5 "2012-12-10T15:52:02Z")
Don’t try. Just smile. And breathe slowly. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-learn-to-live-in-the-present/643573/6 "2012-12-10T15:58:14Z")
All great suggestions. > [@John\_Mace](#): > > Don’t try. Just smile. And breathe slowly. Yep. And connect with one of your senses, even if for only 10 seconds. Don’t expect to master it right away. There’s a reason it’s called a practice. If you catch yourself out of the moment, you can bring yourself right back by saying some phrase in your inner voice. “Not this, not this” works well, as does “Thinking.” ---
**Author:** ![taskmgr.exe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@taskmgr.exe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/taskmgr.exe)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-learn-to-live-in-the-present/643573/7 "2012-12-10T16:01:26Z")
> [@Quasimodal](#): > > One of my largest character flaws is that my mind tends to drift to the future or dwell on the past far too often. I never really understood how big of a problem it is for me until recently. I probably could be far more productive and enjoy life more if I could just stay in the present moment. Are there any books or strategies on this topic? IMHO, once you start dwelling on the past, you can’t stop it. You’ll be always happy, and feel guilt about your past mistakes, embarrassments, stupidities etc. Nobody and nothing can help you. I am telling you these things from my experience. Even if you forget, there will always someone reminding you your mistakes, as being a sadist. If there is no one around you, there is internet. And, on the internet, there are assholes, trolls and extremely confrontational people. They will find a way to make you dwell on the past again. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Blaster\_Master](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cab0a1/32.png) [@Blaster\_Master](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blaster_Master)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-learn-to-live-in-the-present/643573/8 "2012-12-10T16:22:30Z")
This is something I’ve struggled with, and still do. My biggest problem has often been living for the future, always focusing on making things better and better, or on some future dream, and never actually reaching it, it gets tiring working toward it and never feeling the fruits of my labor. One thing that has probably been the most helpful has been to actually set aside time specifically for exactly that. It’s probably the simplest and easiest thing I did that had an immediate and noticeable effect. I’m a big proponent of meditation and prayer in helping with this as well, but that’s also something that will take time to learn and practice. What makes that useful is that I can work myself away from times past or the future and put my focus on immediate concerns. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-learn-to-live-in-the-present/643573/9 "2012-12-10T16:27:41Z")
> [@Blaster\_Master](#): > > One thing that has probably been the most helpful has been to actually set aside time specifically for exactly that. It’s probably the simplest and easiest thing I did that had an immediate and noticeable effect. That’s really helpful. Forget multitasking, just put your attention on the one task in front of you right now. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-learn-to-live-in-the-present/643573/10 "2012-12-10T17:01:52Z")
You folks are making me miss a song played by Backwoods Jazz, called _Wish I Was Here, Tonight_. I accidently taped it on VHS decades ago, but that tape is long dead. They were on one of those 15 minute fill in shows that KVIE (PBS) would play just before they logged off. Man, that takes me back. Ironic, really.