I generally leave the office behind the minute I’m out the door, but biking home is also a good stress reliever.
Now if I could just find something for my wife when she goes back to work. At her last job, every evening involved a 2-3-hour therapy session in which I had to divine the subconscious thoughts of people I’d never met because she was obsessing over:
What they meant by what they said/did
What they thought about what she said/did
What they think about what she thinks about what they said/did
We may have reach a fourth level of recursion at some point.
I joke a lot. And I keep in mind that the world will continue to spin on its axis whether me, the company, or the customer is there or not. It’s a job. Not the Secret to Life.
I suppose if I worked in a DNA lab, I might have a different take on that.
I guess it depends on what you want out of your job. As I said, some people want to pursue a fullfilling career. Others just want to work and collect a paycheck so they can live their life outside of work.
The second way has it’s advantages, however, one downside is that you tend to spend a lot of time doing something you don’t particularly care about and probably won’t be all that successful.
On the other hand, if your work is your life, you might find it very fullfulling, but if something happens to that job, it can be a real crushing blow. Look at these Wall Street investment bankers. Most of them aren’t “thieves”. Most are just smart guys who wanted an exciting and high paying job in finance. When their banks went out of business, their entire lifestyle changes.
For me, it wasn’t very hard to leave the stress of work, at work. But then, I realized months later that this wasn’t helping me. Why? Because, I was working from home.
One caveat about excercise. As they explained to us at the Post Office (while denying the existance of “postal stress”) it tends to mask stress, just like a few beers, rather than solving the problem. If it’s mild take-home stress, it will work fine, but if it’s deep-down and systemic you have to find another way, like a major attitude change or getting the hell out.
Pretty much what Athena said. I was stuck in a horribly high stress job for a very long time. Once work was done and I was at home, I would obsess over what I did wrong that day and try to anticipate what I’d get in trouble for the next day.
Probably not the most responsible thing, but I quit without a safety net and it was the best thing I’ve ever done. I’m now doing work which personally fulfills me, pays decently, and I have ZERO stress. I love to go to work.
Short of that, pursue a hobby. Gym is a great idea, but what about painting? Lots of reading? (takes your mind off of your job) Something that takes intense focus during your down time so that you CAN’T think about work.
My current job is stressful enough that I only keep doing it because I’m paid well, and the stress isn’t so bad that it’s ruining my life. On the other hand, I’d rather have less stress, even if it meant less income. Problem is, all of the less stress things I can think of seem to come with substantially lower incomes that would result in more financial stress than the work stress I experience.
As for how to leave work at work, it’s a willful act on my part a good chunk of the time. If I find myself thinking about work, I tell myself that thinking about it on my free time isn’t going to change anything and it will only ruin my chance to unwind. If I’m not feeling refreshed, then it’s harder to do my job well. This gives me permission to not think about work, and sometimes that’s what I need. Then I think about all the non-work stuff I want to do, and I do it.
Of course, there are certain analytical problems that crop up that nag me no matter what I do. To the point that I’ll dream about them, looking for a solution. I don’t know how to stop that–it’s how my brain solves extremely complex problems. But one of the reasons I’m paid well is because I can solve those complex problems, so I accept it as part of the bargain.
There was a period of time when the stress had to do with a co-worker, and I found I was thinking about our conflict too much outside of work. So every time I found myself thinking about her, I made myself think “pink elephants” instead. This was so ridiculous, it made me laugh, and I’d stop worrying. It also made me relax around her, because how can you look at someone and think “pink elephants” and feel intimidated by them? Once I stopped feeling intimidated by her, the conflict between us lessened to the point that I work with her much more effectively, and the things that used to initimidate me just make me laugh, so I don’t bring them home with me.
Actually that’s not true at all. Exercise provides physical benefits that actually reduce the effects of stress. Alchohol just makes you forget about your problems until you wake up the next day with a hangover. But you are correct that if there is a fundamental problem with your situation that is causing you stress, you should look to change it.
I wouldn’t listen to anything the Post Office says about exercise or managing stress. From the looks of the people working there, they don’t know jack shit about either.
Most people who love their career experience “good” stress. I’m indifferent to my job, and I enjoy good stress, too. I like deadlines and making order out of chaos. It doesn’t seem like stress to me (though I suppose there may be some physical/medical stress signs even when I’m enjoying a good network meltdown). If someone is continually getting negative stress from their job, I’m guessing they don’t really like it much.
I’m now doing work which personally fulfills me, pays decently, and I have ZERO stress. I love to go to work.