# How do you let go in a relationship?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-let-go-in-a-relationship/538981>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [May 11, 2010, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-let-go-in-a-relationship/538981 "2010-05-11T00:41:08Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 3

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![umop\_ap\_sdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/dbc845/32.png) [@umop\_ap\_sdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umop_ap_sdn)\
**Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-let-go-in-a-relationship/538981/41 "2010-05-12T21:38:42Z")

</div>

In my experience, even continuing to live in the same house can be a great hindrance to moving on. For me it made the difference between being in tears most nights and being emotionally stable all the time.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![markm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@markm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markm)\
**Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-let-go-in-a-relationship/538981/42 "2010-05-13T15:16:39Z")

</div>

> [@umop\_ap\_sdn](#):
>
> In my experience, even continuing to live in the same house can be a great hindrance to moving on. For me it made the difference between being in tears most nights and being emotionally stable all the time.

Oh, no doubt. She confided in me that she cried to sleep nearly every night while in the other end of the house, and I’ll admit to being crankier than normal. Part of it is because of the seeming holding pattern that’s going on. You’re supposed to be moving on, yet you see this constant reminder every day, in the same setting. How can you possibly move on with that situation?  
There’s a reason dry alcoholics don’t go just sit at a bar. Doing so would lead to one of two outcomes, neither of which is desirable: either depression or a relapse. Same thing in a divorce/separation. Having determined that the relationship is over, by doing things as they’ve always been during the relationship, all that can happen is hurt/depression or a (temporary) relapse leading to more hurt/anger/depression.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\
**Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-let-go-in-a-relationship/538981/43 "2010-05-13T19:06:14Z")

</div>

It’s impossible to deal with the hurt of a breakup if you’re living with the person. Having sex with her is beyond insane.

You may never get over her but that doesn’t mean you can’t stuff your feelings into a dark hole and move on. It’s pointless to torture yourself and that’s what you’re doing.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\
**Post date:** [May 13, 2010, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-let-go-in-a-relationship/538981/44 "2010-05-13T19:24:56Z")

</div>

> [@ThirdOne](#):
>
> Female chiming in here 😃 Let your wife sleep on the couch or your daughter’s room. Red flag flew up when you said You would sleep in your daughter’s room. No, I’m not implying anything, but on the surface, a grown man sleeping in a room with a five year old girl looks quite odd. And believe me when I say, people do weird things when going through divorces.

What? A man can’t sleep in the same room with his own child?

Anyway, he was talking about his other daughter, who’s moving out soon.

[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-let-go-in-a-relationship/538981.md?page=2)