# How do you let someone know you love them? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 31, 2000, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-let-someone-know-you-love-them/15419 "2000-03-31T02:28:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Nicklz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/8baadc/32.png) [@Nicklz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nicklz)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2000, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-let-someone-know-you-love-them/15419/1 "2000-03-31T02:28:00Z")
Well here is the deal I’ve know this girl for a couple years, we’ve become pretty close friends but nothing more. She started hanging out with me and my group of friends and just became on of the guys, so to say. It comes very natural for me to be able to talk with women, but with her it is very different I cannot even innocently flirt with her. She in every aspect is innocent. While me on the other hand I’ve “been around the block”. My question is what would be the best approach for my situation? And, without the line I dred to hear her say “I wouldn’t want to risk our friendship” ---
**Author:** ![Ursa\_Major](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/a88e57/32.png) [@Ursa\_Major](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ursa_Major)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2000, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-let-someone-know-you-love-them/15419/2 "2000-03-31T02:38:00Z")
The old “club 'em over the head and drag 'em off by the hair” routine always worked for me. I think your query would recieve a better response over [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/cgi-bin/ubbcgi/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&forum=MPSIMS&number=4&DaysPrune=20&LastLogin=)…or you could just wait for Manhattan or your cousin Nickrz to do it for you. ---
**Author:** ![justwannano](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ab992/32.png) [@justwannano](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/justwannano)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2000, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-let-someone-know-you-love-them/15419/3 "2000-03-31T03:13:00Z")
Nicklz said She in every aspect is innocent. While me on the other hand I’ve "been around the block You sound like she is 12 and you are 30. What is your age difference. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2000, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-let-someone-know-you-love-them/15419/4 "2000-03-31T03:20:00Z")
To Quote Sheena Easton If you love somebody you let them know. There ain’t a lot of time before it will snow." ---
**Author:** ![Crusoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/49beb7/32.png) [@Crusoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crusoe)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2000, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-let-someone-know-you-love-them/15419/5 "2000-03-31T08:38:00Z")
It may sound trite, but sometimes it’s better to make the wrong decision than none at all. If you’re going to be pining for her everytime you meet, or miserable anytime she’s with somebody else, then you have to ask whether you can accept that unhappiness for the rest of your relationship. If you can, fine. If you can’t, tell her. It might all go pear-shaped, but at least you’ll have tried. I’ve been there - said my piece - got knocked back. I watched as she went out with some really dodgy characters, but bit my tongue. In the end I was lucky; we remained friends despite my admission, and I moved on eventually. I don’t regret it; at least I didn’t have it eating away at me on the inside. Good luck. * * * [Crusoe Takes A Trip](http://www.fervent.co.uk/) ---
**Author:** ![quadell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/b9bd4f/32.png) [@quadell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quadell)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2000, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-let-someone-know-you-love-them/15419/6 "2000-03-31T15:44:00Z")
Once, a long time ago, I saw an old book called something like “101 ways to say I love you.” You know, say it with flowers, put it in a note under their windshield-wiper, etc. My favorite was “Carve it in balsa wood and leave it floating in the toilet.” I told myself that someday I’d find someone who could see this as a token of true love. 🙂 Your Quadell ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2000, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-let-someone-know-you-love-them/15419/7 "2000-03-31T15:49:00Z")
Off to MPSIMS * * * [NYC IRL III](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/006163.html) is on April 15th. Do you have what it takes? ---
**Author:** ![ChrisCTP](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@ChrisCTP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisCTP)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2000, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-let-someone-know-you-love-them/15419/8 "2000-03-31T17:09:00Z")
“I love you.” Far-fetched, I know…but it _might_ just work. * * * My Excruciatingly Commonplace Homepage: [FireMoon](http://www.crosswinds.net/~firemoonbcs) ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2000, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-let-someone-know-you-love-them/15419/9 "2000-04-01T01:01:00Z")
Boy, once you get a woman into the ‘friendship zone’ forget it. ---
**Author:** ![MadPoet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@MadPoet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadPoet)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2000, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-let-someone-know-you-love-them/15419/10 "2000-04-01T01:17:00Z")
Je t’aime usually works, possibly je t’adore… Chicks dig french. There’s a personal ad type place on [beer.com](http://beer.com). A gent there gave this gem of advice: “Softly brush her hair. It will sound like waves on a secluded beach.” I didn’t know whether to laugh or vomit when I heard this. First thing I’d do is try to put your hand on her arm while talking to her. If she tenses up… don’t try anything. If she doesn’t flinch, go for it. As for an approach… don’t admit love til the third date at the absolute earliest. Too early and you’re a kook. Too late never hurts. * * * [http://www.madpoet.com](http://www.madpoet.com) “I never meant to hurt you,” you said, And buried yourself in lies instead. Next time I would rather be slain, Than forced to bear your mercy again. ---
**Author:** ![Jeannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@Jeannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeannie)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2000, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-let-someone-know-you-love-them/15419/11 "2000-04-01T01:23:00Z")
About 3 1/2 years ago, I had an incredible crush on a good friend of mine. Everyone told me not to say anything so as not to ruin the friendship. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. I just blurted out that I had a huge crush on him and that I wanted more than friendship. We got married last September. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2000, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-let-someone-know-you-love-them/15419/12 "2000-04-01T02:12:00Z")
Nicklz, the best advice I can give you is to feel her out, like MadPoet suggests is a good way, and take it one step at a time. But, whatever you do, tell her in some kind of way that you care,and are hoping for more than just friendship. I will always regret the time I let the most wonderful man in the world, next to my hubby, get away, and all because I didn’t have the nerve to speak up and tell him how I felt. So, take the chance and tell her. * * * You sing in my consciousness like a counterpoint to my life. L.L. ---
**Author:** ![Girlbysea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Girlbysea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlbysea)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2000, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-let-someone-know-you-love-them/15419/13 "2000-04-01T03:52:00Z")
By setting them free. If they return to you they will be yours… Love them in your heart, and always let it show… * * * * * * Girlbysea (AKA: ChiefScott’s GBS) ---
**Author:** ![MadPoet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@MadPoet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadPoet)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2000, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-let-someone-know-you-love-them/15419/14 "2000-04-01T03:57:00Z")
> [@](#): > > the best advice I can give you is to feel her up, like MadPoet suggests Or, at least, that’s what I read at first… * * * [http://www.madpoet.com](http://www.madpoet.com) “I never meant to hurt you,” you said, And buried yourself in lies instead. Next time I would rather be slain, Than forced to bear your mercy again. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2000, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-let-someone-know-you-love-them/15419/15 "2000-04-01T05:59:00Z")
I wish I knew. ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2000, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-let-someone-know-you-love-them/15419/16 "2000-04-01T06:02:00Z")
I just KNEW someone would twist that around. Thank you, MadPoet. I sure needed a laugh tonight. ROFL! * * * You sing in my consciousness like a counterpoint to my life. L.L. ---
**Author:** ![Lexicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ac8455/32.png) [@Lexicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lexicon)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2000, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-let-someone-know-you-love-them/15419/17 "2000-04-01T06:07:00Z")
Nothing says “I Love You.” like oral sex in the morning. * * * “Winners never quit and quitters never win, but those who never win and never quit are idiots.” ---
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2000, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-let-someone-know-you-love-them/15419/18 "2000-04-01T08:00:00Z")
Y’know, Lex, they say it’s like pullin apart two sides of a grilled cheese sandwich. –Tim * * * You can’t accidently create a handicapped baby whilst smoking pot. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2000, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-let-someone-know-you-love-them/15419/19 "2000-04-01T15:24:00Z")
Wow…there went my appetite. ---
**Author:** ![mega\_the\_roo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3da27b/32.png) [@mega\_the\_roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mega_the_roo)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2000, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-let-someone-know-you-love-them/15419/20 "2000-04-02T06:13:00Z")
that grilled cheese comment made me momentarily want to vomit, but now i want grilled cheese. things that make you go hm… * * * if wishes were fishes, we could walk on the ocean. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-let-someone-know-you-love-them/15419.md?page=2)