# How do you like to be kissed? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 30, 2009, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-to-be-kissed/498185 "2009-05-30T18:21:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Gaudere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e495f1/32.png) [@Gaudere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gaudere)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2009, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-to-be-kissed/498185/1 "2009-05-30T18:21:30Z")
I’ve been thinking about my kissing experiences recently, and it seems about half the time the guy is doing what I consider waaaaay too much tongue. There’s a few variants: Wide open mouth latched on face: lips stay immobile while tongue frantically wanders all over the inside of my mouth. Tongue appears in advance of any lip-to-lip contact: thrust forward as a vanguard before the kiss actually starts, mouth closed. And of course, just thrusting, thrusting, thrusting of the tongue while the lips don’t do anything at all. It always makes me wonder if he’s demonstrating his fucking technique. I mean, I like some tongue, but the key ingredient that seems to be missing here is LIPS. Please do not forget about them in your effort to see if I have all my wisdom teeth still. And do not go in for a kiss with a wide open mouth–slightly parted, fine, but not GRAAAWWW like you’re going to take a huge bite out of my chin. What I am looking for is variety and some more lip action. Mix it up a little, try some teasing and variety rather than just all tonsil-checking, all the time. Don’t treat the lips only as the barrier to your tongue. And I have known some excellent kissers. But given the number of guys who demonstrated the lip-lacking techniques described above, maybe I’m the one who’s off and most people really like this. So here’s my survey: what do you like/not like when you’re kissed? ---
**Author:** ![StuffLikeThatThere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc8723/32.png) [@StuffLikeThatThere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StuffLikeThatThere)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2009, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-to-be-kissed/498185/2 "2009-05-30T19:56:32Z")
I like lots of lip and just a teeny bit of tongue. I had to retrain my husband, but he is worth it. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2009, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-to-be-kissed/498185/3 "2009-05-30T20:01:49Z")
… I’m trying to remember. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2009, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-to-be-kissed/498185/4 "2009-05-30T20:21:27Z")
> [@Gaudere](#): > > What I am looking for is variety and some more lip action. Mix it up a little, try some teasing and variety rather than just all tonsil-checking, all the time. Don’t treat the lips only as the barrier to your tongue. And I have known some excellent kissers. But given the number of guys who demonstrated the lip-lacking techniques described above, maybe I’m the one who’s off and most people really like this. So here’s my survey: what do you like/not like when you’re kissed? How you doin? 😃 That said. My only real gripe with any woman I have done any serious kissing on is the ones who want to suck on or bite your tongue so hard it hurts. I have other parts that may appreciate that but my tongue isn’t one of them. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2009, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-to-be-kissed/498185/5 "2009-05-30T20:24:49Z")
I’ve had more men demonstrate too much tongue than too much lips. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2009, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-to-be-kissed/498185/6 "2009-05-30T20:47:57Z")
By women. > [@Khadaji](#): > > … I’m trying to remember. That too. ---
**Author:** ![Llama\_Llogophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@Llama\_Llogophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Llama_Llogophile)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2009, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-to-be-kissed/498185/7 "2009-05-30T21:06:24Z")
I find it’s easiest if I remove their gag first. ---
**Author:** ![apollonia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2bfe46/32.png) [@apollonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apollonia)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2009, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-to-be-kissed/498185/8 "2009-05-30T21:11:32Z")
Please don’t ever _lick my teeth._ ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2009, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-to-be-kissed/498185/9 "2009-05-30T21:14:26Z")
My new boy just likes kissing on the lips and it’s adorable. I never realized how nice _kissing_ was until I came across someone who wasn’t trying to french me all the time. Tongue is fine but it’s nice to give it a rest so it can be used in other ways 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![RedRosesForMe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/91b2a8/32.png) [@RedRosesForMe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedRosesForMe)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2009, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-to-be-kissed/498185/10 "2009-05-30T21:30:42Z")
I like short, sweet kisses. Like, a few pecks followed by a little tease with the tongue, then another peck or two and a lot of tongue. But only like 2 seconds worth of tongue at a time. And a lot more lips. I have yet to find someone who understands this immediately, but most catch on after a few days. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2009, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-to-be-kissed/498185/11 "2009-05-30T21:38:30Z")
Lips, little or no tongue. No tonsil hockey. Have you ever noticed that middle school boys and toddlers kiss exactly alike? Wide open mouth, no finesse? Yeah, if your past eighth grade, stop kissing like that. (If you are my two year old, I’ll take all the seventh grade boy kisses you’ve got.) ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2009, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-to-be-kissed/498185/12 "2009-05-30T21:51:28Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > Have you ever noticed that middle school boys and toddlers kiss exactly alike? Have you been kissing middle school boys? I’m not sure you should be posting that information. ---
**Author:** ![hroark2112](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6a8cbe/32.png) [@hroark2112](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hroark2112)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2009, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-to-be-kissed/498185/13 "2009-05-30T21:57:17Z")
More lips than tongue, and for gawd’s sake LET ME BREATHE!! Hot & passionate. Kiss the neck too, while you’re at it 🙂 Normally I adjust how I kiss based on who I’m kissing. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2009, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-to-be-kissed/498185/14 "2009-05-30T22:16:59Z")
> [@JThunder](#): > > By women. > > > [@Khadaji](#): > > > > …I’m trying to remember. > > That too. Yes. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2009, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-to-be-kissed/498185/15 "2009-05-30T22:25:51Z")
1. Slow down; we’re not in a hurry (unless in fact we are). 2. Use your tongue to play with me, not assault me. 3. Don’t limit your kisses to my mouth. 4. Pay attention to our bodies and hands too. 5. It’s ok to talk between kisses. 6. Where is all of this leading? ---
**Author:** ![carlotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@carlotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlotta)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2009, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-to-be-kissed/498185/16 "2009-05-30T23:38:22Z")
My lips are a major erogenous zone, my tongue and inside of mouth not so much, so like most posters, lots of lips, teasing tongue. I’ve been reading a lot of romance novels lately and finding myself alienated by all the tongue and thrusting described in the kissing scenes. I keep rereading, trying to imagine kissing like they’re describing and just being grossed out. I guess maybe it’s hard to find a lot to write about when the characters are just kissing (emotions! thoughts! write about what’s going on between the ears, that’s always sexiest!) who said switch to the neck for variety? YES! ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2009, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-to-be-kissed/498185/17 "2009-05-31T02:21:21Z")
Tongues should be used as a tease, not a weapon. mmmmm, kissing is one of my favorite things. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2009, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-to-be-kissed/498185/18 "2009-05-31T03:07:42Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > 1. Slow down; we’re not in a hurry (unless in fact we are). > > 2. Use your tongue to play with me, not assault me. > > 3. Don’t limit your kisses to my mouth. > > 4. Pay attention to our bodies and hands too. > > 5. It’s ok to talk between kisses. > > 6. Where is all of this leading? Doesn’t #3 answer #6? ---
**Author:** ![Snnipe\_70E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5a626/32.png) [@Snnipe\_70E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snnipe_70E)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2009, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-to-be-kissed/498185/19 "2009-05-31T03:11:14Z")
> [@Khadaji](#): > > … I’m trying to remember. I understand that coment ---
**Author:** ![PeacePlease](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/71c47a/32.png) [@PeacePlease](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PeacePlease)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2009, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-to-be-kissed/498185/20 "2009-05-31T06:33:28Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > 1. Slow down; we’re not in a hurry (unless in fact we are). > > 2. Use your tongue to play with me, not assault me. > > 3. Don’t limit your kisses to my mouth. > > 4. Pay attention to our bodies and hands too. > > 5. It’s ok to talk between kisses. > > 6. Where is all of this leading? Whew! Niiiiiice. Wanna play? Oh wait, tell me you are a guy! Then again, it has been awhile! 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-to-be-kissed/498185.md?page=2)