# How do you like your ex-?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-your-ex/348686>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [March 17, 2006, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-your-ex/348686 "2006-03-17T01:50:38Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 7\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![grayhairedmomma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/47e85d/32.png) [@grayhairedmomma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grayhairedmomma)\
**Post date:** [March 20, 2006, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-your-ex/348686/61 "2006-03-20T05:02:53Z")

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> [@Case Sensitive](#):
>
> Oh, God, where to even start? Put it this way, lying about having cancer to guilt me into staying after cheating on me was one of the _least_ worst things she did.

My ex did almost the same. Except his was a brain tumor - inoperable of course. (not, the slimy bastard)

God I hate him.

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**Author:** ![movingfinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@movingfinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/movingfinger)\
**Post date:** [March 20, 2006, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-your-ex/348686/62 "2006-03-20T05:50:29Z")

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I haven’t heard from her in 30 years, when she called me from London and said she was getting hassled by the British immigration people because she was still married to me and I was living in the US. This was six years or so after we broke up and neither had felt the need to push through a divorce.

I agreed to process the divorce at my end. She offered to pay half the cost but I told her to forget it as I knew I would never see a cent from her. When we split up she left me with huge bills, mostly from womens’ clothing stores in Century City. She had promised to pay those, too.

I learned the truism that the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference.

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**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\
**Post date:** [March 20, 2006, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-your-ex/348686/63 "2006-03-20T07:52:22Z")

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> [@fetus](#):
>
> Like I like my coffee: Ground up and in the freezer.
> 
> Not really. But I thought it was funny.

You thought right.  
hh

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**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\
**Post date:** [March 20, 2006, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-your-ex/348686/64 "2006-03-20T17:14:27Z")

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I think the world would be a better place without him in it. He might even agree with me…but does the lazy bastard _do_ anything about it? Nooooooooo.

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**Author:** ![Large\_Marge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/50afbb/32.png) [@Large\_Marge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Large_Marge)\
**Post date:** [March 21, 2006, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-your-ex/348686/65 "2006-03-21T01:34:25Z")

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> [@Case Sensitive](#):
>
> \<snip\>No, she had no conscience. In slight mitigation, however, anyone reading the above will have reached the conclusion that I was a naive fucking idiot, and they’d be right.

Wow. No human has ever treated me as badly as she treated you. Not even my mom, and she was pretty messed up. I’m sorry, **Case Sensitive**. I hope you will be able to trust another woman again, but if that never happens, I really couldn’t blame you.

And I think “trust” IS the word; I don’t think you were naive. It’s easy in hindsight to blame yourself, but it’s been my experience that if you go into a relationship expecting the worst, that’s what you’ll get. You had to start by trusting her, and then hope she lives up to it. Clearly, she wasn’t up for the task.

You deserve better.

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**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\
**Post date:** [March 21, 2006, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-your-ex/348686/66 "2006-03-21T04:54:35Z")

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> [@Large Marge](#):
>
> Wow. No human has ever treated me as badly as she treated you. Not even my mom, and she was pretty messed up. I’m sorry, **Case Sensitive**. I hope you will be able to trust another woman again, but if that never happens, I really couldn’t blame you.

I didn’t really mean to get so confessional there, but this thread must have struck a nerve - thanks for the kind thoughts. No, I didn’t really have a problem with trust or anger afterwards, though I’ll admit to treating a few women rather shabbily: I spent a while trying to be the antithesis of a “nice guy” and just screwing as many chicks as I could pick up.

It wasn’t really me, though, and after a while I figured that just I was letting my ex turn me into a shallow, callous, manipulative guy that I didn’t really want to be. From there, I just went about relationships a bit more cautiously, and not long after that I met Missus Case. We both felt our way pretty slowly, since she had her own baggage from a bad relationship, but she is everything my ex wasn’t, and this year will be our tenth aniversary.

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**Author:** ![CairaJade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f04885/32.png) [@CairaJade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairaJade)\
**Post date:** [March 21, 2006, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-your-ex/348686/67 "2006-03-21T05:23:29Z")

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Unfortunately, I pity him. I shouldn’t, but I do. But I wish him the best. I really hope he meets someone else, so he can stop obsessing about me and how our relationship failed.

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