# How do you like your monsters? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 30, 2014, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-your-monsters/684932 "2014-03-30T21:13:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2014, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-your-monsters/684932/1 "2014-03-30T21:13:00Z")
Speaking mostly of the “classic” archetypes here: your vampires, werewolves, zombies, et al. As usual, if you have another option or wish to expand on your choice, feel free to post it. Also, if you can think of other monsters with varying archetypes and have a preference, post that as well! ---
**Author:** ![Baal\_Houtham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baal_houtham/32/13604_2.png) [@Baal\_Houtham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baal_Houtham)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2014, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-your-monsters/684932/2 "2014-03-30T21:25:23Z")
I like my monsters smart. The alien from “Who Goes There?” will do just fine. As will Hannibal Lector. ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2014, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-your-monsters/684932/3 "2014-03-30T21:33:07Z")
It’s hard to beat a good alien, but what I’d be looking for is something that really is alien. No men in rubber suits, no green skin paint, no Klingon foreheads. Think more War of the Worlds, The Blob, The Thing, ALIENS, HP Lovecraft. If you can’t swing the special effects for a non-humanoid alien, then at least give us a decent mind-controlling parasite. I’ve always been partial to zombies, but I’m getting pretty burnt out on that now. ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2014, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-your-monsters/684932/4 "2014-03-30T21:39:28Z")
I find it varies as I age. When I was young, I was all about Godzilla, Gamera, etc. As I got into my early teens, vampires and werewolves. Late teens, it was aliens. Since then, monsters don’t do it for me. Too much real-life shit that’s really monstrous. I can appreciate a well-done monster movie of any kind. Will likely see the new Godzilla, on DVD at least. Before I hit ‘post’, I realized I enjoy reading _The Dresden Files_, so I guess vampires, werewolves, zombies, ghouls, evil wizards and demons are still on the menu, along with the occasional skinwalker. ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2014, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-your-monsters/684932/5 "2014-03-30T21:58:53Z")
I see that I responded before the poll was up, so let me just add: Frankenstein, Werewolves and Vampires are so trite and so overdone at this point that there’s very little left for me in any of those. I particularly can’t stand the vampire sub-genre in which the vamps secretly rule the world. “We’re so powerful that we control everything, but we must remain hidden.” Seriously?! What BS. And I can’t stand the emo, gothy, angsty thing. You suck blood. You’re immortal. Daddy never bought you a pony. Deal with it already. If someone was going to do a vampire that I’d really look forward to, they’d have to go back to the very original idea: vampires were demonic creatures that animated the undead, engaged in the struggle between Satan and the Church. (And/or, a soul that had been rejected from Heaven and was therefore stuck, unredeemed, in its dead body.) ---
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2014, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-your-monsters/684932/6 "2014-03-30T22:17:11Z")
Gah! I just realized that I forgot a vampire archetype, one that I like quite a bit: the evil, animalistic walking corpse-style like Nosferatu! ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2014, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-your-monsters/684932/7 "2014-03-30T22:20:25Z")
I want voodoo zombies to make a comeback. ---
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2014, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-your-monsters/684932/8 "2014-03-30T22:21:01Z")
> [@dracoi](#): > > It’s hard to beat a good alien, but what I’d be looking for is something that really is alien. No men in rubber suits, no green skin paint, no Klingon foreheads. Think more War of the Worlds, The Blob, The Thing, ALIENS, HP Lovecraft. If you can’t swing the special effects for a non-humanoid alien, then at least give us a decent mind-controlling parasite. I agree with you on the alien thing: I always thought it was kind of stupid that the majority of Star Trek aliens were pretty much humans with different kinds of forehead ridges. The Star Wars aliens had a bit more variety, but still too many that were clearly humanoid for my tastes. ---
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-your-monsters/684932/9 "2014-03-31T01:21:14Z")
Pretty much the only preference so far that kind of surprises me is the one for Frankenstein’s Monster to be more like the original book version; somehow I had gotten the idea that the Universal movie version was very much beloved. ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-your-monsters/684932/10 "2014-03-31T02:01:47Z")
I voted for **Vampires: Suave, tragic ladykillers (Dracula)** and wanted to add that I have a special fondness for sexy, lesbian, lady vampires. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-your-monsters/684932/11 "2014-03-31T02:12:59Z")
I like the REAl classics, from the original sources, for the most part. Shelley’s (Wollstonecraft’s) Frankenstein. Stoker’s Dracula (with touches of Varney and Polidori’s guy). Pre-Kurt Siodmak werewolves (although Siodmask’s original vision was NOT what the Lon Chaney Jr. character became). Haitian creepy but non-flesh-eating zombies. Dragons could go either way, depending on your sources, or it could even be third or fourth ways (Chinese traditional dragons or Sirrushes). I thought _Van Helsing_, like the new _Mummy_ movies, was a hoot, but only because it got everything completely, outrageously _wrong_. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-your-monsters/684932/12 "2014-03-31T02:17:15Z")
> [@Cuckoorex](#): > > Pretty much the only preference so far that kind of surprises me is the one for Frankenstein’s Monster to be more like the original book version; somehow I had gotten the idea that the Universal movie version was very much beloved. It certainly is, on many levels. But Mary Shelley wrote a book on the themes of hubris, and our need for love, and what we become when we’re denied it; which all goes so much deeper than a Hollywood re-do of German Expressionist Paul Weneger’s Golum of a decade earlier. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-your-monsters/684932/13 "2014-03-31T02:44:18Z")
Vampires: buxom, and with an accent. Frankenstein’s monster: cultured, sophisticated, [man about town](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1FLZPFI3jc). ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-your-monsters/684932/14 "2014-03-31T04:24:49Z")
> [@Cuckoorex](#): > > Gah! I just realized that I forgot a vampire archetype, one that I like quite a bit: the evil, animalistic walking corpse-style like Nosferatu! I would have voted for that choice. **Witches** : wily sexpot seductresses, earthy wiccan priestesses or haggard leering crones? ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-your-monsters/684932/15 "2014-03-31T06:35:01Z")
> [@Cuckoorex](#): > > Gah! I just realized that I forgot a vampire archetype, one that I like quite a bit: the evil, animalistic walking corpse-style like Nosferatu! > > > [@Don\_Draper](#): > > > > I would have voted for that choice. {…} Thirded. CMC fnord! ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-your-monsters/684932/16 "2014-03-31T07:08:20Z")
> [@Cuckoorex](#): > > Gah! I just realized that I forgot a vampire archetype, one that I like quite a bit: the evil, animalistic walking corpse-style like Nosferatu! I came here to say this. I like my vampires to be barely human parasites. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-your-monsters/684932/17 "2014-03-31T08:32:45Z")
There’s a few options I’d have voted for one part, but not the other - both in the zombie section. > [@](#): > > Fast moving, untiring, and wanting brains I like both fast and slow zombies, but unless I’m watching Return of the Living Dead, one of its sequels, or a comedy where zombies are just a _very_ small part of things, then having a particular taste for brains is a deal killer. I voted for that one, anyway, since fast zombies that don’t eat brains specifically are more common. > [@](#): > > Biologically created, whether undead or not, like the Rage Virus guys in 28 Days Later I don’t give a crap how they’re animated - magical, chemical, biological…not mechanical, since I consider that more of a variant on Frankenstein’s monster - but, if they’re not undead, they’re _not_ zombies. Full stop. This is such a big deal that I didn’t vote for this one. (The only other ones I didn’t vote for were the ‘not so fuzzy werewolves’, ‘pure comedy Godzilla’, ‘Radiation Kaiju Frank’ and ‘Van Helsing got them right’ - the last primarily because I haven’t SEEN Van Helsing, so I can’t say. ‘Friendly’ would also have been an option I’d have checked off. What it boils down to is I just like monsters, period.) ---
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-your-monsters/684932/18 "2014-03-31T16:02:28Z")
> [@Don\_Draper](#): > > **Witches** : wily sexpot seductresses, earthy wiccan priestesses or haggard leering crones? Hmm, good one. And also one that sometimes causes some feathers to get ruffled among current adherents to Wicca and similar belief systems. I have to say that I’m good with all three, but it really depends on the context: The wily sexpot seductresses are of course…um, sexy, and it’s hard to disparage that. They tend to be used in ways similar to the sexy buxom vampires; powerful women who use men (and/or other women) for their pleasure. The big difference (other than the blood-drinking immortal undead part, of course) is that the sexy witch almost always seems to serve or is in league with a demon or devil, whereas the buxom vampire is out for here own jollies. The earthy Wiccan priestesses tend more often than not to be plot devices or, at worst, part of some ritual sacrifice plot (a la The Wicker Man). The hags are probably the ones most people think of when they hear the term “witch.” The image of the wart-nosed, dirty haired half-blind crone bent over a boiling cauldron and reciting incantations (a la Macbeth’s “weird sisters”) is one that will forever be my first thought when the term comes up, no matter how politically incorrect it may be these days. But if I want a movie with a witch who is the main character, it’s probably a toss-up between the sexy witch and the crone. All depends on the story. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-your-monsters/684932/19 "2014-03-31T17:21:06Z")
Giant irradiated Japanese caveman Frankenstein? Clearly, there’s an embarrassing gap in my pop culture knowledge. ---
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-your-monsters/684932/20 "2014-03-31T17:58:39Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Giant irradiated Japanese caveman Frankenstein? > > Clearly, there’s an embarrassing gap in my pop culture knowledge. [Frankenstein Conquers the World](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohrHdMo86DM), for your edification. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-like-your-monsters/684932.md?page=2)