# How do you look in a bathing suit.?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-look-in-a-bathing-suit/68967>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [June 15, 2001, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-look-in-a-bathing-suit/68967 "2001-06-15T19:50:33Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\
**Post date:** [June 16, 2001, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-look-in-a-bathing-suit/68967/21 "2001-06-16T02:34:34Z")

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Absolutely appalling. Ya know **SqrlCub** and his Asner fixation? he should be careful what he wishes for.

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**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\
**Post date:** [June 16, 2001, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-look-in-a-bathing-suit/68967/22 "2001-06-16T16:04:37Z")

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I wear a wetsuit…so ummm, I look really pretty much like a surfer in a wetsuit as that’s what I am. There aren’t a lot of fat surfers, nor tiny skinny ones either.

Hope some of the Doper women like rubber 🙂

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**Author:** ![Eo\_Echo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ebca7d/32.png) [@Eo\_Echo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eo_Echo)\
**Post date:** [June 16, 2001, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-look-in-a-bathing-suit/68967/23 "2001-06-16T16:07:25Z")

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I look devastatingly handsome as always. Provided, of course that I wear swim trunks that reach the knees. Monica thighs run in my family, and I had hoped that as a man I was immune, but sadly not.

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**Author:** ![Anniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/cc9497/32.png) [@Anniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anniz)\
**Post date:** [June 16, 2001, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-look-in-a-bathing-suit/68967/24 "2001-06-16T16:10:52Z")

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If I hold my little stomach in,  
I think I’ll look okay.

Btw, **Handy** , you’re exactly  
100 posts from 10.000 now.  
You’ll soon hit it.🙂

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**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\
**Post date:** [June 16, 2001, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-look-in-a-bathing-suit/68967/25 "2001-06-16T16:19:43Z")

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I look pretty good. I work out regularly and watch my alcohol intake. I don’t have the six-pack, but a month of emphasis on aerobics over weights would fix that.

I wouldn’t wear a Speedo, though just because **some** things should be left until the wedding night.

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**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\
**Post date:** [June 16, 2001, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-look-in-a-bathing-suit/68967/26 "2001-06-16T16:27:27Z")

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Something to tell your kids, don’t look directly at the sun or Feynn in a bathing suit, both could cause serious retinal damage.

My body is in fine shape, 100,000 sit-ups a year does that to a guy.

It quite simply does not tan.

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**Author:** ![lolagranola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ea5d25/32.png) [@lolagranola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lolagranola)\
**Post date:** [June 16, 2001, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-look-in-a-bathing-suit/68967/27 "2001-06-16T19:20:36Z")

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Arms? A little skinny, but good.

Legs? A little skinny, but good.

Face? Not too bad.

Stomach? Looks suspiciously like a potato.

Body colour? Like mocha.

Essentially, I look like a brown potato with four sticks stuck to it. If I could only get a cardboard box to cover my entire middle section, I’d look great! I try to stick close to Feynn, since the glare off of his body keeps anyone from looking directly at us. I’ve been doing 300 crunches a day for the last three weeks, so hopefully I’ll look like a supermodel in no time. Ok. A supermodel with stretch marks.

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**Author:** ![No\_Bones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ba8739/32.png) [@No\_Bones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/No_Bones)\
**Post date:** [June 17, 2001, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-look-in-a-bathing-suit/68967/28 "2001-06-17T01:16:19Z")

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The last time I wore a swimsuit, the girl I was flirting with at work stopped talking to me. I was paler and skinnier than she imagined. Haven’t worn a swimsuit in the 10 years since. From then on, the woman had to be naked in bed with the lights out before I’d strip.

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**Author:** ![Jekeira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@Jekeira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jekeira)\
**Post date:** [June 17, 2001, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-look-in-a-bathing-suit/68967/29 "2001-06-17T02:50:38Z")

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Short, curvy, a bit too pale. Not bad, really. I have nice legs and my butt has been known to attract favorable attention. My tummy pooches out a little and Bowflex isn’t calling me up demanding that I appear in their infomercials. But if you don’t mind just a little extra womanly white flesh, I think I look pretty good in a suit.

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**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\
**Post date:** [June 17, 2001, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-look-in-a-bathing-suit/68967/30 "2001-06-17T03:17:55Z")

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I imagine I look horrible, but I wouldn’t know since I haven’t worn one since 1995.

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**Author:** ![Brite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e8c25b/32.png) [@Brite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brite)\
**Post date:** [June 17, 2001, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-look-in-a-bathing-suit/68967/31 "2001-06-17T03:59:28Z")

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Unpleasent.

Take my word for it.

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**Author:** ![kang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/d6d6ee/32.png) [@kang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kang)\
**Post date:** [June 17, 2001, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-look-in-a-bathing-suit/68967/32 "2001-06-17T04:21:22Z")

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I like the way the posts seem to be split about 80/20, pretty much along the creature-from-the-black-lagoon or demi-god lines. I mean, christ… all you folks can’t look THAT awful.

Myself… well, I look like a guy who is pudgily approaching middle-age. Not quite horrid enough to send small children fleeing, nor to draw anyone’s particular notice. By the same token, not quite gorgeous enough to entice too many bathing beauties to slip to their knees in the sand and pledge their undying lust, nor even to draw anyone’s particular notice, for that matter.

My guess would be that is pretty much the way we all are. You know… just people. And who gives a flying F as long as you’re having a good time in your bathing suit (or out of it)?

Speaking of which… if you want proof that “just people” exist everywhere… take a look at the incipient saddle-bag hips on Rose McGowan…

[http://us.imdb.com/EGallery?source=granitz&group=0448-199&photo=mcgowanr.ose](http://us.imdb.com/EGallery?source=granitz&group=0448-199&photo=mcgowanr.ose)

And she still got a part on a hip WB show (Charmed).

You’ve come a long way, baby.

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**Author:** ![frock75](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ad7895/32.png) [@frock75](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/frock75)\
**Post date:** [June 17, 2001, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-look-in-a-bathing-suit/68967/33 "2001-06-17T04:33:08Z")

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I look an awful lot like Ron Jeremy in my bathing suit. Ahh…the mental image of that guy at the beach brings tears to my eyes.

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**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\
**Post date:** [June 17, 2001, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-look-in-a-bathing-suit/68967/34 "2001-06-17T04:49:56Z")

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Its all in the suit!

I usually classify suits as the worst place to be, I’m pale, I’m ugly shaped. Ew.

But I got a new suit. Tank top and full cut bottoms. And I look damn cute. Its black with white triangle panels up the sides of teh tank. I could live in this suit.

My legs are still ugly and white, but its the best I’m going to get in a suit.

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**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\
**Post date:** [June 17, 2001, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-look-in-a-bathing-suit/68967/35 "2001-06-17T04:50:16Z")

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I think I look decent. Yeah, I’ve got to work on the little bit of extra stomach I have and I don’t have runner’s legs, but I am satisfied for the most part. I just hate the fact that a certain guy friend of mine likes to point out how I’m not as trim as his girlfriend, who does a lot to keep in the shape she’s in. :rolleyes:

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**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\
**Post date:** [June 17, 2001, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-look-in-a-bathing-suit/68967/36 "2001-06-17T04:55:47Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by kang \*  
> \*\*… all you folks can’t look THAT awful. \*\*

Just the other day I stepped out of the shower and caught a glimpse of myself in a full-length mirror. Scared the hell out of myself. In the words of Richard Jeni, if I saw that in the forest, I’d shoot it and run back to the car.

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**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\
**Post date:** [June 17, 2001, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-look-in-a-bathing-suit/68967/37 "2001-06-17T05:31:44Z")

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Jesus, people. I’m probably older than most of you - in my mid-40s. And other than the scrapes on my legs from climbing trees, I think I look pretty damn good in a swimsuit.

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**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\
**Post date:** [June 17, 2001, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-look-in-a-bathing-suit/68967/38 "2001-06-17T07:58:30Z")

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Manboobs… 'nuff said.

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**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\
**Post date:** [June 17, 2001, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-look-in-a-bathing-suit/68967/39 "2001-06-17T13:42:29Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Carina42 \*  
> \*\*I am 43 & look amazing in a bikini. I have no cellulite at all, incredible muscle tone (hey, I’ve done physical work for 22 years). I turn heads, & am really happy with how I look, as long as I remember to shave my legs. 😃
> 
> My friends call me “The Body.” \*\*

So, how YOU doin’, **Carina**??? 😃 😃 😃

Hell, my friends call me **The Abomination**. Guess you have better friends than I have. \<cackle\>

Cartooniverse

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**Author:** ![Cyndar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cyndar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyndar)\
**Post date:** [June 17, 2001, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-look-in-a-bathing-suit/68967/40 "2001-06-17T14:13:58Z")

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I was in Hawaii recently and I had to go through the unpleasant task of buying a swim suit. Stores advertised swim suits designed to hide flaws, but what happens when your whole body is one big flaw? I ended up buying a bikini top and a pair of surfer shorts that ride low on the hips. That way my lower abs and my thighs were covered. It still left way too much of the grossness that is me out in the open, but it was the best I could do.

Now I am back from Hawaii and the suit is stuffed in the bottom of my dresser drawer.

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