# how do you lose your viginity? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 3, 2003, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776 "2003-05-03T02:17:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![caramelcutie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8797f3/32.png) [@caramelcutie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caramelcutie)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/1 "2003-05-03T02:17:16Z")
What has to happen for you to techinically lose your virginity, and if you lose your virginity from having sex, then why are you still a vrigin after having oral sex…or are you? ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/2 "2003-05-03T02:25:17Z")
It’s a bit of a grey area really. Generally, you have lost your virginity when you have had sex involving traditional penetration. In some ways though, it’s up to the virginity holder, eg if rape is involved the person might prefer to consider themselves a virgin until it happens under better circumstances. Oral sex is no more losing your virginity that masturbation is. Ultimately, it varies and is probably more a matter of opinion. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/3 "2003-05-03T02:31:54Z")
Well, I shagged a girl, caramelcutie. I’ve never really thought about how other people have lost theirs. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Frostillicus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Frostillicus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frostillicus)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/4 "2003-05-03T02:37:00Z")
You place it somewhere and then forget where you put it. At least, that’s how I lost mine.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/5 "2003-05-03T02:54:15Z")
I didn’t know I had a viginity. ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/6 "2003-05-03T03:15:21Z")
Probably like a lot of guys, the girl that lived next door. ---
**Author:** ![jack\_ss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c77e96/32.png) [@jack\_ss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jack_ss)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/7 "2003-05-03T03:27:02Z")
I left my virginity in a girl’s vaginity. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/8 "2003-05-03T05:41:36Z")
You really don’t lose your virginity. It’s in the grocery store in aisle seven. Look for the shelf full of jars of maraschino cherries. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Alereon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Alereon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alereon)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/9 "2003-05-03T05:52:56Z")
This is probably more of an IMHO topic, but… For heterosexuals, one is no longer considered a virgin when one has engaged in vaginal intercourse with a member of the opposite sex. Anal intercourse is a grey area (I side with it not “counting”), and oral sex generally doesn’t count against virginity. I think that most people consider the circumstances in which sex occurs, whether it is voluntary or involuntary, for example, irrelevent. For homosexuals, the question is significantly more difficult. For men, one could say that there are two “kinds” of virginity. For women, well, I’m out of ideas. I’d think that, in both cases, you’re going to see a lot of conflicting definitions. Hope this helps. ---
**Author:** ![bibliophage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bibliophage/32/7615_2.png) [@bibliophage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bibliophage)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/10 "2003-05-03T05:59:36Z")
This is more a matter of opinion than fact, so I’ll move this thread to IMHO. bibliophage moderator GQ ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/11 "2003-05-03T06:42:06Z")
**Al** , I think there are two camps among lesbians about what constitutes virginity. Some consider themselves virgins forever, unless they’ve been experimenting with men and have had vaginal intercourse. Fisting, dildoes, strap-ons, whatever, is irrelevant; unless there’s been an honest-to-goodness, real live penis in there, they’re virgins. Others consider themselves non-virgins after engaging in sexual acts, penetrative or not, with someone else. It’s a matter of personal definitions, where it stops being sexual contact and becomes sex. Personally, I think anal “counts.” I went to school with a few girls who did anal and oral with everyone in the free world, but then sanctimoniously pronounced, “I’m a virgin.” It seemed disingenuous, at best. ---
**Author:** ![phraser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a88e4f/32.png) [@phraser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phraser)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/12 "2003-05-03T11:59:25Z")
[hijack] I heard that if you went without for long enough, your virginity could regenerate! :eek: how long does this take? [/hijack] I think you lose your virginity when you no longer consider yourself to be a virgin. It’s a state of mind. I mean, it’s not like anyone can reliably tell, physically. The state of innocence is mental. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/13 "2003-05-03T12:06:04Z")
My wife lost her virginity, but still has the box it came in… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/14 "2003-05-03T13:11:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vunderbob \* > \*\*My wife lost her virginity, but still has the box it came in… 😃 \*\* **vunderbob** , I’m so glad I’d already swallowed my coffee when I read this! Literally made me laugh out loud! ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/15 "2003-05-03T13:25:41Z")
My take on it is when your sexual organs are stimulated by the other person directly or indirectly with the intent on both parties for you acheive orgasim and/or sexual pleasure. So anal (by itself - if there is stimulation in the front too then it does) doesn’t count, oral counts for the reciever, not the giver. that’s my take on it, glad you asked. **phraser** what I think you are talking about is called ‘secondary virginity’ which is a phrase used to help sluts and the like reform and feel that they are worth more then two craps. The idea is that if you had sex before you realized how special it was you could claim 2nd’ary virgintiy and basically hold off till the time is right (i.e. marrage) ---
**Author:** ![phraser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a88e4f/32.png) [@phraser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phraser)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/16 "2003-05-03T13:30:54Z")
**kanicbird** , I was told by a friend that if you go without any for (I believe he said 7 years) then virginity (ie innocence) regenerates (presumably because if you’ve gone without for _that long_ you’ve forgotten what it’s like). I should have been more specific… the situation you described isn’t what I was thinking of. Personally I can’t imagine why anyone would want to be a virgin… glorious sluttiness is too much fun! _grins_ ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/17 "2003-05-03T15:40:51Z")
Mine? When I was born, I came out the vagina, thus, my penis was in the vagina & came out of it. I wonder if that qualifies? Shucks, why not? Those with C-sections should redo this part I guess 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Crystal\_Task](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@Crystal\_Task](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crystal_Task)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/18 "2003-05-03T18:31:53Z")
‘I lost my virginity, but still have the box it came in’ and old joke, i’m surprised you never heard it before. and caramelcutie how old are you? what the hell is with you asking these damn sex questions? ---
**Author:** ![lorinada](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b5e925/32.png) [@lorinada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorinada)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/19 "2003-05-03T18:50:50Z")
I guess the same thing as you, at age 15, are answering them. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Ender\_Will](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Ender\_Will](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ender_Will)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/20 "2003-05-03T19:26:46Z")
I’d say that virginity is lost when you have a sexual encounter with someone else. So, oral “counts” as sex, as would and hand/finger work. > [@](#): > > So anal (by itself - if there is stimulation in the front too then it does) doesn’t count, oral counts for the reciever, not the giver. I’m gonna have to disagree with that. As Adam Carolla said on Loveline some time ago, “One incident of anal should count for like 6 regular, vaginal episodes.” Just think about it…honestly. Is there anyone (gay or straight) whose first experience was anal? As for the oral counting for the reciever but not the giver, _if_ it should count for only one, then it’d be the giver. You can recieve oral when you are passed out, but would have a hell of a time giving it in that state. The giver has to actually perform an act, rather than just sit around while something happens. For another viewpoint about lesbian virginity, go rent “Chasing Amy” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776.md?page=2)