# how do you lose your viginity? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 3, 2003, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776 "2003-05-03T02:17:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/21 "2003-05-03T20:08:02Z")
> [@](#): > > Just think about it…honestly. Is there anyone (gay or straight) whose first experience was anal? I could give in to anal (no pun intended - but no other quick and dirty way to say it). But if oral is given to someone passed out then the receiver is not intending sexual pleasure nor orgasim therefore gets to keep their virginity - just like the rape situation. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/22 "2003-05-03T20:14:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ender\_Will \* > **Just think about it…honestly. Is there anyone (gay or straight) whose first experience was anal?** Well, I’d think that for some gays, it may very well be their first experience. And I know for a fact that some Muslim girls get their first sexual experience the alternative way, thus “preserving” their virginity. Bit of a double standard if you ask me, but that’s what I’ve heard from some of them. ---
**Author:** ![Anahita](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9a28c/32.png) [@Anahita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anahita)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/23 "2003-05-03T21:38:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by handy \* > \*\*Mine? When I was born, I came out the vagina, thus, my penis was in the vagina & came out of it. I wonder if that qualifies? Shucks, why not? Those with C-sections should redo this part I guess 🙂 \*\* Gee, if that’s not a typical HandyPost, I don’t know what is. ---
**Author:** ![Omorka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/50afbb/32.png) [@Omorka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omorka)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/24 "2003-05-03T22:27:34Z")
This is actually a question of some interest to me. I participated in a number of sexual acts with the Imzadi, but not actual penetrative penis-and-vagina intercourse. I didn’t so that until a full two years later, with a jerk who didn’t deserve it. I would really rather consider my virginity to have been lost with the Imzadi rather than the Jerk. To confuse the issue, I didn’t have hymeneal breakage with either of them - a childhood of fence climbing, horseback riding, and ballet lessons seems to have stretched my hymen into nonexistence well before anyone explored the area with so much as a finger. I am of the opinion that penetrative intercourse is only a very tiny fraction of what I consider “sex”, and that basing the definition of “virginity” on penetrative intercourse puts too much emphasis on it. Then again, I can’t come up with anything better, except perhaps one’s first orgasm administered by another person - which would make a number of wives with children virgins. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Drex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dc4da7/32.png) [@Drex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drex)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/25 "2003-05-03T22:31:52Z")
Have you had a sexual encounter with someone before? Did it involve genital stimulation? If so, then I can’t see how you can be considered a virgin regardless of what body parts were involved in the stimulation. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/26 "2003-05-03T22:37:32Z")
My definition of sex is a sharing of genetic material. But then I’m more like a scientist… Once you deal with your straight sex virginity, you’re still a gay-sex virgin, right? ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/27 "2003-05-03T23:06:18Z")
> [@](#): > > I heard that if you went without for long enough, your virginity could regenerate! > > how long does this take? “I have not had sex in over two years. I think once you reach two years, you get your virginity back.” - Margaret Cho To me, I think losing your virginity is an emotional thing. The first time you really want sex and consider that desire to have been fulfilled, I’d say that’s losing your virginity. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/28 "2003-05-04T02:59:24Z")
I thought you just had to go see the Rocky Horror Picture Show at midnight. ---
**Author:** ![shep\_proudfoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90db22/32.png) [@shep\_proudfoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shep_proudfoot)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/29 "2003-05-04T10:46:42Z")
I was 16, she was an “older woman” of 17, I met her at an AC DC concert in 1983. We did it in my bed while my parents were gone for the weekend, condom broke, didn’t cum. Missed a day of school preparing for the event. Girl was fat. The end SP ---
**Author:** ![BeatenMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3ab097/32.png) [@BeatenMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeatenMan)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/30 "2003-05-04T13:11:30Z")
The first time I had sex, I was very afraid and unsure of myself. But worst of all, I was all-alone. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/31 "2003-05-04T20:50:31Z")
Sheep auction. ---
**Author:** ![Dogface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@Dogface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogface)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/32 "2003-05-05T17:00:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by caramelcutie \* > **What has to happen for you to techinically lose your virginity, and if you lose your virginity from having sex, then why are you still a vrigin after having oral sex…or are you?** Believe it or not, this issue is actually quite old. There have been sermons and writings castigating monastics who were “technically” virgins (having never actually had sexual contact) but whose minds were very far from being what was considered the spiritual state of virginity, as they indulged in (what they thought was) secret lust. One opinion on this matter is, no matter how “virgin” they might be “in the body”, they had long ago rejected virginity. Likewise, someone who had been subject to unwanted sexual contact (thus maintaining virginity of mind and spirit by not desiring the contact) could, according to some theologians, still be considered virgin. And then there were the legalists, who insisted upon defining every little not and tittle. Is oral sex sex (well, if it ain’t, then why isn’t it called oral nonsex?)? What about another? What about if it’s only one inch of penetration? What if it happens with a cloth between them? What if that cloth is large enough so that they do not actually see each other? What if it is only the use of the hands. What if only one touches the other but the other merely receives the touch, which one is not a virgin? Yadda yadda yadda yadda yadda yadda yadda. As you might suspect, I have no respect at all for the legalists. ---
**Author:** ![Dogface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@Dogface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogface)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/33 "2003-05-05T17:15:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kanicbird \* > \*\*what I think you are talking about is called ‘secondary virginity’ which is a phrase used to help sluts and the like reform and feel that they are worth more then two craps. The idea is that if you had sex before you realized how special it was you could claim 2nd’ary virgintiy and basically hold off till the time is right (i.e. marrage) \*\* Another example of the ignorant feeling a need to re-invent the wheel. There is already a word to describe adhering to “proper” sexual mores even if one is not a virgin. That word is continence. Indeed, continence is a superior social concept than is “secondary virginity” since it is not lost upon being married. A husband and wife can bang each other with great frequency and still be perfectly and 100% pure and chaste. This is because they are married, and the marriage bed is not a defiling thing. See ([http://www.stjohndc.org/stjohndc/English/Homilies/0109a.htm](http://www.stjohndc.org/stjohndc/English/Homilies/0109a.htm)) for a fuller explication by a Priest regarding the sanctity of the marriage bed and what goes on there. A quote therefrom: > [@](#): > > The 1st Canon of the Council of Gangra states: “If anyone disparages marriage, or abominates or disparages a woman sleeping with her husband, notwithstanding that she is faithful and reverent, as though she could not enter the Kingdom, let him be anathema (i.e. declared outside the Church).” ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/34 "2003-05-05T17:20:31Z")
I wasn’t so concerned about losing it, it was finding it under the seat cushions, right next to my car keys, .27, and a golf tee that freaked me out. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/35 "2003-05-05T21:01:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dogface \* > **Another example of the ignorant feeling a need to re-invent the wheel. There is already a word to describe adhering to “proper” sexual mores even if one is not a virgin. That word is continence.** It’s the incontinent virgins that you really have to watch out for. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/36 "2003-05-05T21:19:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by caramelcutie \* > \*\*What has to happen for you to techinically lose your virginity \*\* Just send Ol’ Duke your phone number… ---
**Author:** ![SanibelMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@SanibelMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanibelMan)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/37 "2003-05-05T21:39:55Z")
“This isn’t like the time you bought a hamster, named it Virginity, and then lost it, is it?” ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776/38 "2003-05-05T21:51:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dogface \* > Another example of the ignorant feeling a need to re-invent the wheel. There is already a word to describe adhering to “proper” sexual mores even if one is not a virgin. That word is continence. Interestingly ‘continence’ is not in the Concise Oxford dictionary (9th ed). ‘Incontinence’ is: 1. unable to restrain movements of bowels or bladder or both 2. lacking self-restraint (especially in regard to sexual desire) I think your word is archaic. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-lose-your-viginity/172776.md?page=1)