# How Do You Make Buttered Toast

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-buttered-toast/259585>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [August 12, 2004, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-buttered-toast/259585 "2004-08-12T19:57:25Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![sciguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e68b1a/32.png) [@sciguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciguy)\
**Post date:** [August 13, 2004, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-buttered-toast/259585/21 "2004-08-13T16:25:11Z")

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Step 0: Remove butter from fridge.  
Step 1: Put bread in toaster.  
Step 2: Double check “doneness” dial (I swear the cat likes to move this to the “just above room temp” setting).  
Step 3: Depress the lever.  
Step 4: Smell toasting bread.  
Step 5: When bread pops up, spread butter, wait a sec for it to go completely melty, then shake mixture of cinammon and suger over top.

Goes great with Captain Crunch on a lazy sunday morning.

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**Author:** ![curious\_kell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b3f665/32.png) [@curious\_kell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curious_kell)\
**Post date:** [August 13, 2004, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-buttered-toast/259585/22 "2004-08-13T18:33:35Z")

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> [@Colophon](#):
>
> Am I to understand from this thread that pop-up toasters are not the norm in the US? I always figured they were, purely based on the fact that Jon had one in the _Garfield_ strips (one of my early references as far as American domestic life is concerned…)

As far as I can tell, in the midwest at least, pop-up toasters are the norm. I’ve always been the typical too-lazy American who doesn’t wan’t to go through all that trouble of opening the toaster-oven (or broiler) door. I find it much easier to plop a couple pieces of toast in the pop-up toaster, forget about them, jump when I hear them pop up, and then proceed to make a tasty snack out of them.  
My toaster actually has a “PopTarts” setting. How American.

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**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\
**Post date:** [August 13, 2004, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-buttered-toast/259585/23 "2004-08-13T18:54:47Z")

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> [@spingears](#):
>
> He called one day to ask if I could fix their pop up toaster as it was giving them trouble. Visited his house a day or so later and examind toaster. His wife had been generously buttering slices of bread BEFORE toasting. The bottom of the toaster had a mass of butter and crumbs baked into a solid mess which finallly prevented the next piece from staying down to toast. A thorough cleaning solved the problem with the electric toaster. The toastmistress was now ready to change her ways and butter the toast AFTER toasting. She convinced me she really thought that you were supposed butter the bread before toasting.

In the company cafeteria, we have one of those drag-thru industrial toasters, the kind that double as a blast furnace when not toasting. I always got a kick out of the sign over it that bans pre-buttering… **until I saw someone trying to toast buttered bread**. What a way to start a fire!

A slight hijack - garlic toast

1. Butter bread
2. sprinkle powdered garlic on butter
3. liberally sprinkle parmesan chees over that, and push down to embed parmesan in butter
4. grill on hot skillet cheese side down until parmensan toasts and butter is melted
5. Yum!

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**Author:** ![Merkwurdigliebe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/74df32/32.png) [@Merkwurdigliebe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merkwurdigliebe)\
**Post date:** [February 10, 2006, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-buttered-toast/259585/24 "2006-02-10T18:52:00Z")

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Did any of you guys ever fry your bread? Like on a grilled cheese? Basically butter it and put it in the frying pan and flip it when its done. I’ll do this ocassionally when I’m cooking eggs or something but otherwise it goes in the toaster. The annoying thing about the toasters here in Denmark is that they are basically a miniature grill, so you can’t butter the toast and then put i t face down on the grill thing because it drips and gets gross. I can’t really say I see the advantage at all…

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**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\
**Post date:** [February 10, 2006, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-buttered-toast/259585/25 "2006-02-10T19:05:30Z")

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I butter both sides of the bread and then toss it in a skillet. Flip it over once. I know, technically it is fried bread, not toast, but I like this better than what comes out of a toaster.

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**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\
**Post date:** [February 10, 2006, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-buttered-toast/259585/26 "2006-02-10T19:48:53Z")

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[QUOTE=whiterabbitI have never heard of buttering toast on both sides. I’d think your fingers would get really messy eating it.[/QUOTE]  
So? You get messy during sex, if you do it right.

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**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\
**Post date:** [February 10, 2006, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-buttered-toast/259585/27 "2006-02-10T19:50:30Z")

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Eesh. Code-tard at work.

> [@whiterabbit](#):
>
> I have never heard of buttering toast on both sides. I’d think your fingers would get really messy eating it.

So? You get messy during sex, if you do it right.

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**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\
**Post date:** [February 10, 2006, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-buttered-toast/259585/28 "2006-02-10T21:27:34Z")

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Even easier (for me) is to grab the cheese grater and just grate a little butter. By the time I’ve rewrapped the butter, stuck it in the fridge and toasted the bread, it’s the perfect consistency.

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**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\
**Post date:** [February 10, 2006, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-buttered-toast/259585/29 "2006-02-10T21:39:13Z")

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> [@Merkwurdigliebe](#):
>
> The annoying thing about the toasters here in Denmark is that they are basically a miniature grill . . .

😕

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**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\
**Post date:** [February 10, 2006, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-buttered-toast/259585/30 "2006-02-10T22:42:43Z")

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Ya know what’s really good to spread on top of your buttered toast?

BRAINS!!!

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**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\
**Post date:** [February 11, 2006, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-buttered-toast/259585/31 "2006-02-11T00:09:20Z")

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I toast two slices of bread in a pop-up toaster until they are golden brown; I take them out and balance them against each other in a tent formation; this allows the majority of the steam to escape from them and keeps them crisp (a toast rack is the correct way to perform this operation, but I don’t have one). Before they cool too much, I butter them (or use margarine; it’s not actually a bad product, the stuff we get here) and add jam or maybe chocolate spread.

If I’m putting Marmite on them, I’ll let them cool more thoroughly, so that the butter doesn’t melt when it’s spread on - I like Marmite best on unmelted butter on granary or dark wholemeal bread.

Tip for Americans and other aliens: if you’re tempted to try vegemite, for pity’s sake, spread it really thinly the first time (probably less than an eighth of a level teaspoon per slice of bread); it’s deeply savoury and you’ll probably be too shocked to enjoy it if you daub it on.

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**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\
**Post date:** [February 11, 2006, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-buttered-toast/259585/32 "2006-02-11T00:10:22Z")

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That is, Vegemite, Marmite or any other of the fermented yeast pastes.

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**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\
**Post date:** [February 11, 2006, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-buttered-toast/259585/33 "2006-02-11T00:39:44Z")

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> [@Mangetout](#):
>
> I like Marmite best on unmelted butter on granary or dark wholemeal bread.

That’s interesting - I prefer the opposite. Marmite on gobs of hot melted butter that has soaked into the toast is heavenly! Damn, now I’m hungry.

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**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\
**Post date:** [February 11, 2006, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-buttered-toast/259585/34 "2006-02-11T00:41:40Z")

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> [@Mangetout](#):
>
> That is, Vegemite, Marmite or any other of the fermented yeast pastes.

Look, limey, we kicked yer ass in 1776, kept ya from victory in 1812, and then proceeded to save your ass in not one, but two, World Wars. Don’t presume to talk down to us now on yeast paste. If not for us, you’d be speaking German and eating sauerkraut paste. We’ll spread our yeast paste however the hell we please, thank you very much.

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**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\
**Post date:** [February 11, 2006, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-buttered-toast/259585/35 "2006-02-11T00:43:35Z")

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I broil mine in the oven like Annie-Xmas, except that I butter first. I do only the tops.

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**Author:** ![Corporate\_Hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/65b543/32.png) [@Corporate\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corporate_Hippie)\
**Post date:** [February 11, 2006, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-buttered-toast/259585/36 "2006-02-11T00:50:24Z")

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> [@Hot Buttered Toast](#):
>
> I toast my bread till it’s light golden-brown, then use softened butter on one side. Sometimes I spread kaya on it after the butter. (Kaya is a coconut egg jam that I’m absolutely addicted to.)
> 
> …this reminds me that we’re all out of bread. And kaya. Perhaps also butter.

That Kaya stuff sounds delicious, is it readily available in the states? If so, is it a normal supermarket kind of thing or more of a specialty grocery store kinda thing?

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**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\
**Post date:** [February 11, 2006, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-buttered-toast/259585/37 "2006-02-11T00:59:04Z")

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> [@Scumpup](#):
>
> Look, limey, we kicked yer ass in 1776, kept ya from victory in 1812, and then proceeded to save your ass in not one, but two, World Wars. Don’t presume to talk down to us now on yeast paste. If not for us, you’d be speaking German and eating sauerkraut paste. We’ll spread our yeast paste however the hell we please, thank you very much.

OK, well, why don’t you do that? be sure to let us know how you get on.

This should be fun.

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**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\
**Post date:** [February 12, 2006, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-buttered-toast/259585/38 "2006-02-12T03:27:45Z")

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haha yes, indeed. Too much Marmite (or similar) = weapon of mouth destruction and a well-fed rubbish bin.

(Yes, I’ve done that) ☹

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**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\
**Post date:** [February 12, 2006, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-buttered-toast/259585/39 "2006-02-12T04:49:36Z")

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Well, I’ve been a Marmite eater for a couple years and a Vegemite eater for years before that. Although my earlier post was an unsuccessful stab at GWB-era humor, I will sincerely say that the attitude toward Marmite in the UK mystifies me. Ya’ll invented the stuff and yet act like eating it is a daredevil feat. Yes, it is salty and has a strong flavor. So do anchovies, blind robins, and other things we eat here in the US. Sorry guys, but Marmite just isn’t that overpowering. I slather it on toast and bagels and dip pretzels in it. Good stuff, it is.

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**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\
**Post date:** [February 12, 2006, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-buttered-toast/259585/40 "2006-02-12T05:18:38Z")

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> [@Scumpup](#):
>
> I butter both sides of the bread and then toss it in a skillet. Flip it over once. I know, technically it is fried bread, not toast, but I like this better than what comes out of a toaster.

similarly - i melt the butter in the skillet - sometimes I add chopped garlic and herbs - then “sautee” the bread on one side, remove from pan, add a little more butter, return bread to pan flipped to other side and “sautee” til brown and crunchy  
mmmm mmmm  
think I’ll have this tomorrow with my eggs

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