# How do YOU make the Baby Jesus cry? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 17, 2001, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-the-baby-jesus-cry/69165 "2001-06-17T23:41:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cleophus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e57/32.png) [@Cleophus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cleophus)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2001, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-the-baby-jesus-cry/69165/21 "2001-06-18T03:32:07Z")
Reading all the, er, explicit material on the SDMB makes Baby Jesus cry. 🙂 Being an athiest makes Baby Jesus cry. Hi Opal! \Having fun makes Baby Jesus cry.\ Eating lamb makes Baby Jesus cry. ---
**Author:** ![jmonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dbc845/32.png) [@jmonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jmonster)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2001, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-the-baby-jesus-cry/69165/22 "2001-06-18T05:10:15Z")
I shake him. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Reemul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@Reemul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reemul)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2001, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-the-baby-jesus-cry/69165/23 "2001-06-18T05:19:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elmwood \* > \*\*El Paso, Texas makes the little baby Jesus cry. > > \*\* Having grown up in El Paso, i can say with certainty… El Paso, Texas makes EVERYONE cry. Although, his parents might like the cheap shopping in Juarez. ---
**Author:** ![Wicked\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/2acd7d/32.png) [@Wicked\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wicked_Blue)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2001, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-the-baby-jesus-cry/69165/24 "2001-06-18T11:00:34Z")
Monday mornings make the Baby Jesus cry. [sub]Well, they make me cry, too.[/sub] Rose ---
**Author:** ![amati](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@amati](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amati)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2001, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-the-baby-jesus-cry/69165/25 "2001-06-18T11:19:08Z")
‘hope floats’ and a half gallon of vanilla ice cream with lots of chocolate syrup when a girl doesn’t call like she said she would makes the baby jesus cry …or is that me? ---
**Author:** ![Doubleclick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Doubleclick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doubleclick)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2001, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-the-baby-jesus-cry/69165/26 "2001-06-18T13:17:23Z")
Not checking the spelling and previewing the psot befour actaully posting make Baby Jesus cry. (I seem to make him cry a lot. = ) [sub](Spelling mistakes are international…er…intentional.)[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![jesuslynch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e99b99/32.png) [@jesuslynch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jesuslynch)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2001, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-the-baby-jesus-cry/69165/27 "2001-06-18T13:45:06Z")
Telling babyjeusus that he can’t go to Nanny and Papa’s to go swimming makes him cry. And that’s just the tip of the iceburg. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2001, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-the-baby-jesus-cry/69165/28 "2001-06-18T13:49:31Z")
“Anal sex only makes the baby Jesus cry because He isn’t using enough lubricant.” —Thanks. Well, MY computer screen won’t need any Windex for awhile . . . ---
**Author:** ![missdavis102](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7feea3/32.png) [@missdavis102](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missdavis102)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2001, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-the-baby-jesus-cry/69165/29 "2001-06-18T15:42:26Z")
The Baby Jesus cries a lot… My mom yelling at me to put the cat out makes the Baby Jesus cry. Drinking lumpy old milk makes the Baby Jesus cry. Dissecting cats in anatomy class makes the Baby Jesus cry. Reading the Koran makes the Baby Jesus cry. Hitting your sister back makes the Baby Jesus cry. Shouting in my ear makes the Baby Jesus cry. Buying crap off the tv makes the Baby Jesus cry. Excessive credit card debt makes the Baby Jesus cry. Observation: The “the” is very important in “… makes the Baby Jesus cry”, because it makes the Baby Jesus seem like a Kewpie doll. To me, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2001, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-the-baby-jesus-cry/69165/30 "2001-06-18T18:01:27Z")
Straight to hell. The lot of you. Baby Jesus is still crying over this one: In high school, some friends and I were watching TV, but not paying attention. It was mostly an excuse to have 10 people in the room, gabbing about this and that. A commercial went by that featured close-up shots of various babies, and they were, to a baby, unattractive children. Someone noticed this and directed our attention to the TV, saying, “Those are the ugliest babies I have ever seen!” And we all agreed that they were ugly, and mesmerised, watched the rest of the ad. Then the comercial revealed that _they were all babies with cancer_. I have never seen such a massive wave of guilt strike so many people at once ever before, or since. I made fun of cancer babies. Straight to hell with me, too. ---
**Author:** ![Gr8Kat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gr8kat/32/18668_2.png) [@Gr8Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gr8Kat)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2001, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-the-baby-jesus-cry/69165/31 "2001-06-18T23:56:20Z")
This weekend I received 4 spams telling me I needed to accept Jesus and go to Christiam websites. I considered replying with “Spam makes the baby Jesus cry,” but I figured it’d just bounce, so I sent them to SpamCop instead. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2001, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-the-baby-jesus-cry/69165/32 "2001-06-19T00:03:03Z")
Kittens with ringworm makes Baby Jesus cry Doing dishes makes Baby Jesus cry Opal makes Baby Jesus Cry The smell of my slippers makes Baby Jesus cry ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2001, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-the-baby-jesus-cry/69165/33 "2001-06-19T00:10:19Z")
I usually just hide the frankincense and myrrh. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2001, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-the-baby-jesus-cry/69165/34 "2001-06-19T00:10:33Z")
Getting bitten by a snake in a ball pit after being kidnapped from Wal-Mart and having his swaddling clothes changed and his hair dyed in the bathroom by a total stranger who also kidnapped his mom after he talked her into shooting a pizza commercial outside the local mall makes the Baby Jesus cry. ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2001, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-the-baby-jesus-cry/69165/35 "2001-06-19T00:32:43Z")
Based on the above, it seems that Mercutio makes the baby Jesus cry with startling frequency… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2001, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-the-baby-jesus-cry/69165/36 "2001-06-19T01:52:04Z")
Someone said searches on vBulletin make the baby Jesus cry, so I guess I do it on a regular basis. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![wayward](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a87d85/32.png) [@wayward](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wayward)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2001, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-the-baby-jesus-cry/69165/37 "2001-06-19T09:20:59Z")
I’d tell him he only gets one present a year because his birthday’s at Christmas. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2001, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-the-baby-jesus-cry/69165/38 "2001-06-19T09:25:25Z")
I pee in his diaper before he can. While he is wearing it. Preferably while he is sleeping. ---
**Author:** ![Albert\_Rose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@Albert\_Rose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Albert_Rose)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2001, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-the-baby-jesus-cry/69165/39 "2001-06-19T09:56:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Esprix \* > **Someone said searches on vBulletin make the baby Jesus cry, so I guess I do it on a regular basis.** On _purpose?_ ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2001, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-the-baby-jesus-cry/69165/40 "2001-06-19T20:20:26Z")
The current state of the DSL industry makes the Baby Jesus cry. Well, it sure makes _me_ cry! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-the-baby-jesus-cry/69165.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-the-baby-jesus-cry/69165.md?page=3)