# How do YOU make the Baby Jesus cry? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 17, 2001, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-the-baby-jesus-cry/69165 "2001-06-17T23:41:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![reprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@reprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/reprise)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2001, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-the-baby-jesus-cry/69165/61 "2001-06-28T03:43:33Z")
Calling him the Baby Jesus instead of thebabyjesus™ makes the little bugger whine too. ---
**Author:** ![saepiroth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@saepiroth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saepiroth)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2001, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-the-baby-jesus-cry/69165/62 "2001-06-28T05:24:49Z")
beating him with a broken fiberglass rod so he gets lots of tiny bits of glass fiber embedded in his skin makes the baby jesus cry. so does poking him with heated knitting needles! ---
**Author:** ![jmonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dbc845/32.png) [@jmonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jmonster)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2001, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-the-baby-jesus-cry/69165/63 "2001-06-29T04:38:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by saepiroth \* > so does poking him with heated knitting needles! Now, are you poking him all over his body, or just in the mucous membrane? Because I’m trying to get the little tyke to yell out, “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?”, but he pretty much just bleats like a little whiner. ---
**Author:** ![Atreyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Atreyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atreyu)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-the-baby-jesus-cry/69165/64 "2001-10-01T22:32:51Z")
Reviving a thread once thought to be dead makes the Baby Jesus cry. ---
**Author:** ![Kalashnikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/2bfe46/32.png) [@Kalashnikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalashnikov)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-the-baby-jesus-cry/69165/65 "2001-10-01T23:13:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by fnord1966 \* > \*\*The Baby Jesus Buttplug \*\* Band name! ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-the-baby-jesus-cry/69165/66 "2001-10-02T00:30:52Z")
Mmmm. Sacrilicious. Pretty much everything I do makes the baby Jesus cry. And give me the adult Jesus and I bet I can make him beg and moan. ^:cool:^.-\> \<–devil smiley ---
**Author:** ![atypicalcarl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@atypicalcarl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/atypicalcarl)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-the-baby-jesus-cry/69165/67 "2001-10-02T01:00:03Z")
Telling Him that His mother and father were never married makes the baby Jesus cry. Pronouncing His name as “Hey-soos” in a Southern Baptist church makes the baby Jesus cry. Jokes about his mom saying “Oh, God…” make the baby Jesus cry. Spilling beer on the family bible makes the baby Jesus cry. ---
**Author:** ![warmgun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecccb3/32.png) [@warmgun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/warmgun)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-the-baby-jesus-cry/69165/68 "2001-10-02T02:13:12Z")
Being stuck in a manger taking donky-piss showers every hour on the hour MTBJC. Hey, where’s that acronym thread! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-make-the-baby-jesus-cry/69165.md?page=3)