# How do YOU mend a broken heart? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 25, 2006, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-mend-a-broken-heart/374101 "2006-09-25T18:22:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-mend-a-broken-heart/374101/121 "2006-10-03T16:22:22Z")
[QUOTE=control-z] The phrase “high maintainence” was used by the OP. The OP said how much she paid for the jeans. So they’re valid points for comment. Being brutally honest here from a guy’s point of view a woman who buys $270 jeans _seems_ high maintainance, and unless I’m filthy rich (and I’m not) I really wouldn’t want to get involved with someone that would spend money like that. I could picture 10 years from now being in $20,000 of credit card debt. [/QUOTE] Well, my ex boyfriend (the one before this one) used to take me out to dinner for my birthday. One year he bought me a stuffed bunny puppet from Ikea. I believe it was $14. For the record, I was delighted. FWIW, from a woman’s point of view, I wouldn’t want to get involved with a man who was so quick to judge a woman based on the pants she was wearing. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-mend-a-broken-heart/374101/122 "2006-10-03T16:24:13Z")
[QUOTE=Renob] When I first met the woman who is now my wife, that tolerance impressed many of her friends and helped ease any “new boyfriend” issues they may have had with me. [/QUOTE] Uh, I think maybe we hang out with a different crowd. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-mend-a-broken-heart/374101/123 "2006-10-03T17:21:23Z")
[QUOTE=control-z] .. Being brutally honest here from a guy’s point of view a woman who buys $270 jeans _seems_ high maintainance, .. [/QUOTE] I know this is pretty far afield, but I have always thought of high maintenance as an emotional quality. A woman in a sweatshirt and sweatpants can be high maintenance. (Same with a man.) And, as long as we’re in FWIW world, I spend a lot of time judging women while looking at their pants. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-mend-a-broken-heart/374101/124 "2006-10-03T17:29:23Z")
[QUOTE=SiXSwordS] I know this is pretty far afield, but I have always thought of high maintenance as an emotional quality. [/QUOTE] Exactly. I can take care of my own shit. I would sure as hell never ask a man to buy me expensive jeans, or underwear or whatever. In fact, would probably be pretty uncomfortable if he did. I can buy my own luxuries, thank you very much. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-mend-a-broken-heart/374101/125 "2006-10-03T17:33:41Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] Exactly. I can take care of my own shit. I would sure as hell never ask a man to buy me expensive jeans, or underwear or whatever. In fact, would probably be pretty uncomfortable if he did. I can buy my own luxuries, thank you very much. [/QUOTE] Well cool, now that we have that straight will you buy me some silk boxers? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-mend-a-broken-heart/374101/126 "2006-10-03T18:03:18Z")
[QUOTE=control-z] Well cool, now that we have that straight will you buy me some silk boxers? 😃 [/QUOTE] Well, I’m more of a fan of tighty whities, myself, so no. I suppose I could take you out for dinner and drinks at Teatro, we could stop by Ming and have some martinis, swing by Blue Rock and smoke some cubans, take you to the theatre to see a show, rent a room at the Fairmont Palliser, arrange for some champagne, strawberries dipped in chocolate, and appropriate attire for the next day, and treat you to a night of mind blowing sex. \* Oh wait - you wouldn’t be into me because I wear expensive jeans. K, never mind then. \*Yes, this is an actual date that I took a former boyfriend on. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-mend-a-broken-heart/374101/127 "2006-10-03T18:09:55Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] Yep, it was Mr. California. I saw him this weekend and it was fine but we’re obviously just “friends.” \ apparently I am completely unattractive to the opposite sex. Oh well. I have lost weight, which is bad, but that in large part is because I have a bunch of other crap happening right now. Basically this whole “love” business is nothing more than a pain in the ass and I need to be able to focus myself on other stuff that I have going on right now. So - I need help, stat. [/QUOTE] Arggh, I’ve been there. I moved across the damned country (Ak to Tx and then back) to try and cure mine and it still smarts a bit. It’s been over 2 years now (a 7 year relationship) and it took all of the above to help. I also belong to an online group dedicated to this sort of stuff. The thing that helped the most for me, was stuff that absolutely “stuffed” my brain full so that there was no room to think of Luke. I chatted online, read, watched educational stuff that forced me to pay attention and think a bit. Mostly I worked a lot of overtime. I hope you get over it as soon as possible, I know how badly it hurts. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-mend-a-broken-heart/374101/128 "2006-10-03T18:14:04Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] Well, I’m more of a fan of tighty whities, myself, so no. I suppose I could take you out for dinner and drinks at Teatro, we could stop by Ming and have some martinis, swing by Blue Rock and smoke some cubans, take you to the theatre to see a show, rent a room at the Fairmont Palliser, arrange for some champagne, strawberries dipped in chocolate, and appropriate attire for the next day, and treat you to a night of mind blowing sex. \* Oh wait - you wouldn’t be into me because I wear expensive jeans. K, never mind then. \*Yes, this is an actual date that I took a former boyfriend on. [/QUOTE] Sounds like a good date to me (cept the cubans.) Actually it sounds like a 1-year anniversary bash. I assume the former BF liked it? ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-mend-a-broken-heart/374101/129 "2006-10-03T18:20:22Z")
[QUOTE=control-z] I assume the former BF liked it? [/QUOTE] Actually he kind of freaked out and assumed that I wanted to marry him. Reason why he’s a _former_ boyfriend. You boys are so odd. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-mend-a-broken-heart/374101/130 "2006-10-03T18:23:38Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] Actually he kind of freaked out and assumed that I wanted to marry him. Reason why he’s a _former_ boyfriend. You boys are so odd. [/QUOTE] Yeah I could see that. 🙂 IMO it’s coming on a bit too strong. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great date, but anyone who’s commitment-phobic, just isn’t ready for a serious relationship, or has any self-doubt would probably be scared off by such a date. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-mend-a-broken-heart/374101/131 "2006-10-03T18:30:28Z")
[QUOTE=control-z] Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great date, but anyone who’s commitment-phobic, just isn’t ready for a serious relationship, or has any self-doubt would probably be scared off by such a date. [/QUOTE] Actually I ended it with him when he proposed. But yah, your point is good too. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-mend-a-broken-heart/374101/132 "2006-10-03T18:44:39Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] Actually I ended it with him when he proposed. But yah, your point is good too. [/QUOTE] Ah, yeah that date could backfire in a couple different ways I guess, lol! Still a good date though. Don’t come on too strong, leave the guy wanting more, and you’ll be great. ---
**Author:** ![Renob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8c91f0/32.png) [@Renob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renob)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-mend-a-broken-heart/374101/133 "2006-10-03T18:48:27Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] Uh, I think maybe we hang out with a different crowd. :eek: [/QUOTE] From some of your posts, it sounds like your crowd is a bit classier than my crowd. Let’s just say if a woman would have taken me on the fancy date you described a few posts above, I would have had a very miserable time. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-mend-a-broken-heart/374101/134 "2006-10-03T18:59:21Z")
[QUOTE=Renob] From some of your posts, it sounds like your crowd is a bit classier than my crowd. Let’s just say if a woman would have taken me on the fancy date you described a few posts above, I would have had a very miserable time. [/QUOTE] It’s different than my typical date too (except for the mind-blowing sex part, haha), but I think everyone could stand for some broadening of their horizons. Fancy dinner sure, martinis sure, Cubans no, theatre maybe. The ending is the best part. See by the time you got to the ending you’d be desparate to get comfy and wild one on one. ---
**Author:** ![Renob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8c91f0/32.png) [@Renob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renob)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-mend-a-broken-heart/374101/135 "2006-10-03T19:03:00Z")
[QUOTE=control-z] It’s different than my typical date too (except for the mind-blowing sex part, haha), but I think everyone could stand for some broadening of their horizons. [/quote] I’ve done a lot of “fancy” stuff, but I prefer the simple pleasures almost every time. > [@](#): > > Fancy dinner sure, Dive bar food is the best for me. > [@](#): > > martinis sure, Domestic beer, bottle. > [@](#): > > Cubans no, Dutch Masters. > [@](#): > > theatre maybe. My wife has dragged me to more theater than I’d ever want. > [@](#): > > The ending is the best part. Certainly. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-mend-a-broken-heart/374101/136 "2006-10-03T19:04:14Z")
[QUOTE=Renob] From some of your posts, it sounds like your crowd is a bit classier than my crowd. [/QUOTE] Nah - they just can’t drink as much. 😃 But what’s unfun about dinner, drinks and steaming hot monkey sex? Really, I would have thought that was the trifecta of a good date… ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-mend-a-broken-heart/374101/137 "2006-10-03T19:06:24Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] Nah - they just can’t drink as much. 😃 But what’s unfun about dinner, drinks and steaming hot monkey sex? Really, I would have thought that was the trifecta of a good date… [/QUOTE] The theatre, don’t try to make us forget about the theatre! See you think you can sneak that in there. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Renob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8c91f0/32.png) [@Renob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renob)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-mend-a-broken-heart/374101/138 "2006-10-03T19:10:17Z")
[QUOTE=control-z] The theatre, don’t try to make us forget about the theatre! See you think you can sneak that in there. 😛 [/QUOTE] I have to agree. I hate fancy dinners, martini bars, and cigar bars, but I can put up with them as long as the wife wouldn’t throw in the theater. Put it all together, though, and it’s too much for me. That being said, the wife and I are going on our perfect idea of a date which is to the local tiki bar on the river to enjoy the last of the summer warmth while sitting outside and drinking cheap liquor. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-mend-a-broken-heart/374101/139 "2006-10-03T19:15:24Z")
[QUOTE=control-z] The theatre, don’t try to make us forget about the theatre! See you think you can sneak that in there. 😛 [/QUOTE] Well, this particular fella actually sort of liked the theatre - honest - he went on his own sometimes! (No, he wasn’t gay). He was the ultimate metro-sexual - he shopped and owned more clothes than _ **I** _ do. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sonia\_Montdore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Sonia\_Montdore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sonia_Montdore)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2006, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-mend-a-broken-heart/374101/140 "2006-10-03T20:05:39Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] So, without being maudlin, I have a broken heart. How do I get rid of it. Pronto? I hate moping around feeling like a boob. All suggestions welcome. All will be considered. I will report back with any interesting results. So - any takers? [/QUOTE] Lots and lots of P.G.Wodehouse. Guaranteed to work. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-mend-a-broken-heart/374101.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-mend-a-broken-heart/374101.md?page=8)