# How do you moderators do your job?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-moderators-do-your-job/23099>\
**Category:** About This Message Board\
**Created:** [June 21, 2000, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-moderators-do-your-job/23099 "2000-06-21T15:43:14Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![SuaSponte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@SuaSponte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuaSponte)\
**Post date:** [June 21, 2000, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-moderators-do-your-job/23099/1 "2000-06-21T15:43:14Z")

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I imagine y’all slowly hunting and pecking 24/7 across your assigned boards, checking each thread for trolls, sock puppets, and wrongly-posted threads, to the detriment of your health, social life, and IRL jobs.

Or is it all done with computers 😉 ?

V.

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**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\
**Post date:** [June 21, 2000, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-moderators-do-your-job/23099/2 "2000-06-21T17:10:52Z")

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Right on both counts.

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**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\
**Post date:** [June 21, 2000, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-moderators-do-your-job/23099/3 "2000-06-21T21:49:58Z")

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How do we do it? Innate savoir-faire, of course. And a dash of panache.

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**Author:** ![Jo3sh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a587f6/32.png) [@Jo3sh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jo3sh)\
**Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-moderators-do-your-job/23099/4 "2000-06-22T02:22:26Z")

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Except TubaDiva, who does it with a dash of ganache. Belgian by preference, I’d imagine.

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**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\
**Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-moderators-do-your-job/23099/5 "2000-06-22T02:48:45Z")

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I have a bottle of Mudslides in the fridge. When it’s gone, I replace it. For the uninitiated, Mudslides are rum and chocolate and rum and coffee and rum and cream and rum. Oh, and there’s some rum in there, too.

Seriously, I click on my link that goes directly to the BBQ Pit, then I start reading the newest topic first, then proceed to the next newest, and so on. How would you suggest I do it?

My health COULDN’T deteriorate any more, and I touch-type. My mother insisted that I take typing when I was 16, much to my distress. Little did she dream that I’d use it in MUDs (Multiple User Dungeons).

What’s a social life, and why should I start having one NOW?

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**Author:** ![Alphagene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)\
**Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-moderators-do-your-job/23099/6 "2000-06-22T05:05:33Z")

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Though a series of neural implants and several yards of coaxial cable, the Straight Dope Cybernetic Engineering Lab has connected the “Delete this thread” check box directly to the pleasure centers of my brain.

Every time a I make a thread disappear I get an intoxicating wave of euphoria.

You don’t wanna know what an IP lookup does to me…

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**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\
**Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-moderators-do-your-job/23099/7 "2000-06-22T12:09:53Z")

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The problem with this great power is the responsibility that comes with it. Alas, there is no free lunch. Although the ‘Reader’ is eating the their’s for free.

:::::::: flee :::::::::

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**Author:** ![SuaSponte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@SuaSponte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuaSponte)\
**Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-moderators-do-your-job/23099/8 "2000-06-22T19:43:44Z")

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Having read the responses, Alphagene’s the only one that makes sense. I believe the answers from the other mods/admins were designed to deny the existence of this marvelous new technology (although Lynn’s comment about mudslides had a ring of truth to it.

V.

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**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\
**Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-moderators-do-your-job/23099/9 "2000-06-22T22:40:23Z")

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Yep, Alphagene’s post is the only truthful one here. That’s a bad side-effect of the direct stimulation of the pleasure center. It makes you completely incapable of guile, similar to sodium pentathol. We have the Mossad working on it though.

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**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\
**Post date:** [June 22, 2000, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-moderators-do-your-job/23099/10 "2000-06-22T22:42:49Z")

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One bourbon  
One Scotch  
And one beer.

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**Author:** ![TubaDiva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tubadiva/32/507_2.png) [@TubaDiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TubaDiva)\
**Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-moderators-do-your-job/23099/11 "2000-06-23T02:24:03Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*\*  
> One bourbon  
> One Scotch  
> And one beer.  
> \*\*

That’s one moderator . . . one hour.

your humble TubaDiva  
Administrator  
“Today just wasn’t a good day for me to stop sniffing glue.”

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**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\
**Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-moderators-do-your-job/23099/12 "2000-06-23T02:31:08Z")

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I usually do my reading and editing from 5am to 6am, go to work, come back at 5pm, then edit until I hear those magical words from Rhane McCloud- “Get your sorry ass to bed or you’re sleeping on the couch again!”

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**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\
**Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-moderators-do-your-job/23099/13 "2000-06-23T19:15:17Z")

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Lynn: A social life is sort of like a MUD, but the computer’s optional. You’ve already got one.

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**Author:** ![David\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/51bf81/32.png) [@David\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_B)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-moderators-do-your-job/23099/14 "2000-06-24T14:38:30Z")

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SuaSponte: As you might have guessed, you have yet to receive a truthful answer as to how we do that voodoo that we do so well.

There is a reason for this.

You see, we _could_ tell you. But then we’d have to delete you.

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**Author:** ![SuaSponte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@SuaSponte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuaSponte)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-moderators-do-your-job/23099/15 "2000-06-24T19:53:47Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*\*  
> SuaSponte: …
> 
> You see, we _could_ tell you. But then we’d have to delete you.  
> \*\*

Arggghhh! Um, a troll posted this using my name. ChiefScott made me ask. I was drunk. My car wouldn’t start. IT WASN’T MY FAULT!!!

V.

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**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-moderators-do-your-job/23099/16 "2000-06-24T20:41:21Z")

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I’ve developed a new philosophy about this :

Delete a post.  
Do a shot.

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**Author:** ![MysterEcks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MysterEcks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysterEcks)\
**Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-moderators-do-your-job/23099/17 "2000-06-25T03:33:44Z")

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**Eutychus55** said:

> [@](#):
>
> I’ve developed a new philosophy about this :
> 
> Delete a post.  
> Do a shot.

Does this mean you actually _like_ it when we post stuff you have to delete? Have I not been doing my part to keep you pleasantly squiffed? Man, I’d hate to think it was my fault if you guys are depressingly sober.

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**Author:** ![John\_Kentzel-Griffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ccd318/32.png) [@John\_Kentzel-Griffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Kentzel-Griffin)\
**Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-moderators-do-your-job/23099/18 "2000-06-27T17:41:37Z")

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_How do the moderators do their jobs?_

Very well!

**MysterEcks**

I think they have enough posts that need deleting without any more “help”.

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**Author:** ![MysterEcks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MysterEcks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysterEcks)\
**Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-moderators-do-your-job/23099/19 "2000-06-28T03:32:34Z")

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It was a joke, Doc.

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**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\
**Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-moderators-do-your-job/23099/20 "2000-06-28T11:31:20Z")

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They’re doing a damn fine job. Tuba, UncleBeer: thanks for dealing with the andy209 impersonator last night. Very smart to turn off the e-mail notification too, as this idiot had used my e-mailadress. That’s another 200 emails I won’t have to delete.

Tuba: the chocolate (with nuts - wink wink, knowwhatImean?) is underway 😉

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-moderators-do-your-job/23099.md?page=2)
