# How do you pick a house? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 10, 2016, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-pick-a-house/748569 "2016-03-10T19:31:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2016, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-pick-a-house/748569/41 "2016-03-11T14:50:29Z")
Have you looked in to renting garage space? Is that possible? The garage may not need to be in quite as desirable a location, since presumably he will be visiting at off-peak hours, so the traffic won’t be so bad. ---
**Author:** ![Potestas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/50afbb/32.png) [@Potestas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Potestas)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2016, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-pick-a-house/748569/42 "2016-03-11T15:07:07Z")
> [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](#): > > All right, I think it’s time to provide a little more personal info. I had expected the answers to this thread to be more generic, though I’m not complaining! If enough people are familiar with the DC area, that’s great. So let me give you all a bit more background on our situation, hopefully without crossing the boundary of sharing more than I’m comfortable sharing online. > > First relevant piece of info: My husband insists that if there is one mandatory criteria for the house, it’s a big garage. He has a big car he does work on, so he wants a garage for it, as well as room to back a trailer into it (for towing this car, since it’s not legal to drive on the road). This severely, severely limits our options. > > Second relevant piece of info: I live four miles from my job. I literally jogged home from work yesterday. So I do have a certain reluctance to move at all, purely because I am in such an ideal situation right now. But I do understand that my husband’s commute is, well, not fun. My husband has, for years, had a second mandatory criterion: he did not want to cross a bridge in his commute to work. > > When you consider that our salary is, well, typical for people who have never owned a house before, this limited our options so much that there really wasn’t room for me to want much of anything. Last year, we put an offer in on a short sale, and the house was essentially his dream house. As a result, when the short sale fell through, he was much more devastated than I was. > > I finally, very recently, broke. I suggested to him that we move to some houses that were close to my work and had big garages. He initially refused, asking me how I could expect him to have that commute every day. I responded that he had suggested houses that were a worse commute for me than these houses were for him, and that it’s not fair to ask me to make such sacrifices if he’s not willing to do the same. He relented, and we are now considering some houses that are close to my work (something I want) with either a garage or room for a garage (something he wants). > > So right now, we’re essentially considering four types of houses: > > (1) Houses in this town that’s close to my work. This is, naturally, my first choice, but I can see why my husband would be resistant to the idea. > > (2) Houses that are technically a midway point, but would be more of a commute for me because I would have to cross the bridge and drive with the flow of traffic, while he’d be driving against it. There are people at my office who take this commute, and they say it’s awful and warn against doing it, but since other people do it, that means it’s possible. This seems like the best option, but it’s not without it’s pitfalls: These houses are more expensive, limiting us to homes around 1,200 square feet, which is smaller than we’d like since I want to set up a home workout space. Also, remember the garage he needs. It means a lot of otherwise good options get tossed out. > > (3) Move further out, get an even worse commute but a nicer house. We’ve found a few fixer-upper homes that would allow us to live in neighborhoods we otherwise couldn’t afford. We already went through the process of working with a contractor and obtaining a 203k loan with the short sale we almost got, so we’re comfortable with the process. We are considering whether extending our commute further would be worth getting a better house. We’re also trying to estimate factors like reverse commutes, alternate routes, traveling during non-peak hours, etc. > > (4) Buy a house that is impossible for my commute. I think I mentioned earlier in the thread that one option we have considered is buying a house, then seeing if I could get permission to telecommute, and if I can’t, to quit my job. This is my least-favorite option. However, it is worth considering that if it weren’t for my job, we could afford nicer houses in nicer neighborhoods. > > Oh, one other thing I should mention before posting this: I have been in some car accidents in the past, which has resulted in a messed up back. It irritates my back to stay in the same position for too long, which sort of complicates this whole commute thing. But the suggestions to take the Metro actually speak very well to my back problems, because if I took the Metro I’d probably be standing for an hour, rather than sitting. Though truth be told, I really don’t like public transit, what with the recirculated air and people encroaching on your personal space, so just on a personal level, the idea of taking the Metro doesn’t appeal to me. Have you thought about getting something in Georgetown and telling your husband to suck it up and take one for the team? ---
**Author:** ![Epimetheus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c4cdca/32.png) [@Epimetheus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Epimetheus)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2016, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-pick-a-house/748569/43 "2016-03-11T15:09:14Z")
We bought our first house in late 2010 and are seriously starting to look to put it on the market and move into another one in a smaller town (Port Orchard, WA or around there, FWIW). Our requirements are a bit different this time around, I think. Kitchen is the biggest thing for me. Size, openness, storage (I really want a pantry) and a good sized refrigerator (or room for one at the least). A two car garage, a minimum of three bedrooms and at least 1.25 baths (2+ ideally), and a fenced back yard. Everything else is just bonus though I do work from home quite a bit so a good office would be nice. Location is somewhat important. As long as I’m 10 minutes or so away from the highway I’d be happy, but I’d go a bit further away if necessary. Other things I would look at are signal strength of various phone carriers (would rather not switch though), and what offerings of internet (speed is important as we do use streaming services more than cable). My wife is picky about other things, and we’ll find out what she’s willing to bend to in those regards, I guess. She want’s good dark or white cabinetry (no tan, light brown), and wood paneling in any room is a no-no for her. Too much wood in general is a veto on her end. She wants one floor, I like two story homes just fine, maybe more. I think we both prefer newer construction. I’m not into “houses with character” - our craftsman style home has that and we are wanting to move away from older homes. I also do not like homes with crawlspaces, but that’s something negotiable. We also consider geology. Around here, I’d rather not live places that will be vulnerable in the case of a Lahar, or just flooding even. In Port Orchard, it’s very unlikely that we’d have to worry about that, unless it’s over near the east side by the waterfront (Lahar entering the sound could cause a Tsunami). ---
**Author:** ![The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_wind_of_my_soul)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2016, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-pick-a-house/748569/44 "2016-03-11T15:50:39Z")
A few more things to add to my last post: When I say midway point, I mean about 30 miles from each of our offices. So by midway point, I more mean “in between.” In comparison, the homes by my office would be about 40 miles away from him and 8 miles away from me. We do not want to live too close to his office because it’s a dangerous area. Regarding renting garage space: I have brought it up to him. He is renting garage space right now, and getting to the garage from where he lives is a significant drive. He wants to have the car right outside his door. Not having this garage requirement would certainly make this whole house-search easier. My hope is that, since he appears more willing to compromise on commute than on garage space, that getting a place near my work with a garage would be an acceptable compromise to him. (I know 40 miles is a bad commute, so I’m not counting on it, but I feel like if he gets the garage and the commute, then I get nothing.) ---
**Author:** ![The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_wind_of_my_soul)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2016, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-pick-a-house/748569/45 "2016-03-11T15:53:50Z")
> [@Potestas](#): > > Have you thought about getting something in Georgetown and telling your husband to suck it up and take one for the team? Well, that’s kind of what prompted this post. I definitely would like my husband to be more willing to compromise, but I know he wants me to compromise, and I’d like some outside perspectives to get an idea of what’s reasonable for each of us to ask of one another. ---
**Author:** ![Implicit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Implicit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Implicit)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2016, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-pick-a-house/748569/46 "2016-03-11T15:57:11Z")
I think you are better off with option 1 or 4. Anything in the middle just makes both of you unhappy. One of you should have a minimal commute and in exchange for that compromise the person with no commute might have to give in on what kind of house they want; plus they can cook, do errands, and whatever else to help free up more time for the person who has the long commute. It’s your first house, there will probably be others that work out better for the both of you, but given your current situation it just makes sense to either stay close to your job or give in entirely and find yourself something else. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2016, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-pick-a-house/748569/47 "2016-03-11T16:04:12Z")
Are you looking at childrearing at any point? If so: - Would one of you want to stay home for a bit (go for the house closer to the other’s workplace) - Which area(s) have better schools? What are income and property taxes like? I believe the income taxes in Virginia are lower than close-in MD suburbs (this was true 28 years ago when we were looking to move to the area, it may have changed). What access to mass transit? Anywhere in the DC area can have _horrible_ traffic, but some areas are worse than others. From Northern Virginia, there is NO good way to get into the city by road, that isn’t screwed up a fair bit of the time. The outer loop of the Beltway (from Alexandria into Prince George’s County) tends to be pretty good in the mornings - my husband goes that way. Traffic the other way (from PG County to Virginia) can be pretty wretched. Of course any VA houses that are convenient to that area are gonna be expensive. Do either of you have much ability to be flexible about work times, and/or work remotely? Then move closer to the other one’s workplace. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2016, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-pick-a-house/748569/48 "2016-03-11T16:09:17Z")
> [@Potestas](#): > > Have you thought about getting something in Georgetown and telling your husband to suck it up and take one for the team? One problem with that is detached houses there are extremely rare, and probably spendy as hell (not to mention, DC property and income taxes). Arlington would probably be a better choice - in fact, you wouldn’t be too far from the GW Parkway, and you’ve be going against the worst of morning rush hour both ways. Still pricey, but more options at least. ---
**Author:** ![The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_wind_of_my_soul)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2016, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-pick-a-house/748569/49 "2016-03-11T16:11:43Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > Are you looking at childrearing at any point? > > If so: > > - Would one of you want to stay home for a bit (go for the house closer to the other’s workplace) > - Which area(s) have better schools? > > What are income and property taxes like? I believe the income taxes in Virginia are lower than close-in MD suburbs (this was true 28 years ago when we were looking to move to the area, it may have changed). > > What access to mass transit? > > Anywhere in the DC area can have _horrible_ traffic, but some areas are worse than others. From Northern Virginia, there is NO good way to get into the city by road, that isn’t screwed up a fair bit of the time. The outer loop of the Beltway (from Alexandria into Prince George’s County) tends to be pretty good in the mornings - my husband goes that way. Traffic the other way (from PG County to Virginia) can be pretty wretched. Of course any VA houses that are convenient to that area are gonna be expensive. > > Do either of you have much ability to be flexible about work times, and/or work remotely? Then move closer to the other one’s workplace. No, we are not planning on having children. Re. flexibility/working remotely: Since he works shift work, he often has to be in at work at very odd hours. Over the course of the month, he will often leave the house before 4:00 AM to get to work, and sometimes leave as late as 1:00 PM, but sometimes he will need to be there during standard hours. I have the option to come in as early as 7:00 or as late as 10:00, which isn’t as off-peak as his hours, but does have the advantage that I could do that schedule every day. As for working remotely: This one is more complicated. He definitely can’t work remotely. When we almost bought the house last year, I had a talk with my manager, and he was a bit vague but essentially indicated that I could likely get permission to work from home, but only some days of the week (like, say, Monday and Friday). Also, this home was incredibly far from work, I forget the exact mileage but it was probably 60 miles or so. If I were to buy a home closer to work (say, 30 miles out), I doubt that I could get permission to work from home. ---
**Author:** ![Potestas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/50afbb/32.png) [@Potestas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Potestas)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2016, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-pick-a-house/748569/50 "2016-03-11T16:16:34Z")
> [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](#): > > Well, that’s kind of what prompted this post. I definitely would like my husband to be more willing to compromise, but I know he wants me to compromise, and I’d like some outside perspectives to get an idea of what’s reasonable for each of us to ask of one another. At the very least you could invest in helicopter lessons and utilize the South Capitol Heliport which allows members of the public to land there. There are of course I’m sure other heliports nearby as well that could work. However if you aren’t exactly interested in the time it would take for lessons and of course with it being DC, obtaining the necessary airspace permissions there is one other option and that would be to find a condo. Have you thought about selling the vehicle and buying something in the city and using a private car service? It’s not as expensive as some might consider it to be and you would save a bundle on gas, fuel, automobile insurance, etc in addition to parking within the city. In addition if you lived within DC in a simple condo or studio apartment you would save money ( and be able to use it for vacation, college savings, etc) even more and be closer proximity to everything. However if your husband is not a city type of person and prefers the countryside, I would propose something outside the beltway which would require you to cross bridges (DC has the Potomac) which isn’t so bad. I’ve not heard of anyone outside of an action movie going off a bridge in DC at least not in the recent past. Affordable homes can be found in the suburbs outside of DC primarily Mclean, Quantico, Fairfax, Langley, etc. Sit down with your husband and sort through the issues and promise to take him skinny dipping in the reflecting pool outside the Lincoln Memorial if you can reach an agreement. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2016, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-pick-a-house/748569/51 "2016-03-11T16:22:25Z")
Wanting a garage is fine, but a big garage? I ain’t saying that you shouldn’t dream big. But if your finances are severely limiting your options, then it seems to me that you should save some more money, increase your income, or pare back on your dream. Homeownership is optional, as you well know. There’s no sense in potentially hurting your marriage, pocketbook, or quality of life just so you can own something the two of you only feel “meh” about. I bought my first home last year. I lucked out and found my dream house (on Craig’s list of all places), but when I say “luck”, I mean it. I was coming to the end of my lease and I put a lot of pressure on myself to find a place…but you know what? It wouldn’t have been the end of the world if I had just kept renting for another year. I like to think that I would have been prepared to do this if I hadn’t found anything that excited me. I don’t think your husband or you are crazy for wanting what you want. I think homeownership comes with some significant downsides, so you might as well maximize the upsides as much as you can. My “must have” was location. I refused to look at a place that I couldn’t walk to work from, because that’s the biggest benefit renting afforded me and I didn’t want to sacrifice it. You have to decide between the two of you what your ultimate “must have” is and then be prepared to wait until you get it. That means balancing obsessiveness with a zen-like attitude (the latter is important for when things don’t go your way). ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2016, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-pick-a-house/748569/52 "2016-03-11T16:28:58Z")
I also live in this area, and this was one of our big considerations: If you have to spend a lot of time commuting, it doesn’t really matter how much you love your house, because you’re not going to get much time to be there. The time commute is a huge quality-of-life factor for us—we want to spend our lives doing things, not just in transit to and from work. So we live in a much smaller residence than is really comfortable for us. Those kinds of compromises have to be made. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2016, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-pick-a-house/748569/53 "2016-03-11T16:38:32Z")
This is why I am going to make a fortune with my reality/marriage counseling firm. IMHO, you guys need to think creatively about the garage. As you are aware, the housing stock here is older, and even small garages are uncommon. Heck, even driveways are hard to find in many areas. If a large garage is a “must have” and you are on any kind of budget, that’s basically all that you are likely to get. Would you consider living within walking distance of a rental garage? Or buying a property where you can build a garage? That’s a really tough set of needs. Good luck. ---
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2016, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-pick-a-house/748569/54 "2016-03-11T16:45:29Z")
My coworker had to rent garage space because his Tesla wouldn’t fit in his tiny DC garage. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2016, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-pick-a-house/748569/55 "2016-03-11T16:48:45Z")
> [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](#): > > No, we are not planning on having children. Re. flexibility/working remotely: Since he works shift work, he often has to be in at work at very odd hours. Over the course of the month, he will often leave the house before 4:00 AM to get to work, and sometimes leave as late as 1:00 PM, but sometimes he will need to be there during standard hours. I have the option to come in as early as 7:00 or as late as 10:00, which isn’t as off-peak as his hours, but does have the advantage that I could do that schedule every day. > > As for working remotely: This one is more complicated. He definitely can’t work remotely. When we almost bought the house last year, I had a talk with my manager, and he was a bit vague but essentially indicated that I could likely get permission to work from home, but only some days of the week (like, say, Monday and Friday). Also, this home was incredibly far from work, I forget the exact mileage but it was probably 60 miles or so. If I were to buy a home closer to work (say, 30 miles out), I doubt that I could get permission to work from home. Just for the sake of visualizing something, I picked two towns that are close to the distance you mentioned: Springfield, VA and Greenbelt, MD. And I picked a starting point of Ballston Common Mall. Ballston to Greenbelt is 20ish miles and 30-60 minutes. Ballston to Springfield is 12ish miles and 18-25 minutes (in both cases I plugged in a departure time of about 8 AM on Monday). Do both of you plan to stay at your jobs for a very long time? (and have reasonable expectation of it staying that way, i.e. an industry that isn’t prone to layoffs, or you have specialized hard-to-replace critical skills). If one of you is more tied to a location, job-wise, while the other one could find a job elsewhere, I’d say move to near the more stable job. Say your husband is a widget-making-machine technician, and the only two places in the area that have ever made widgets are in Greenbelt and Laurel - while you’re a restaurant manager… move to Maryland because you could always find a job closer to home, but he could not. For folks who are saying “take transit” - that’s a good option for many, but suburb-to-suburb can be excruciatingly long. My husband’s drive is 30 minutes (if traffic is good) but Metro is a minimum of an hour - and that’s with Metro walking distance from his job, and a 5 minute drive from our house. If the workplace isn’t right near the Metro, that adds quite a bit more time as well what with waiting for a bus. I wonder if your workplace might become more telework-friendly at some point. A friend of mine works for an organization that was very ANTI telework for a while - then they realized they could offer more remote work instead of raises. My friend is actually fine with that - imagine saving 15 dollars mileage / parking, and 2 hours a day. Your company might be persuaded to think of things that way. ---
**Author:** ![The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_wind_of_my_soul)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2016, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-pick-a-house/748569/56 "2016-03-11T16:55:49Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > Just for the sake of visualizing something, I picked two towns that are close to the distance you mentioned: Springfield, VA and Greenbelt, MD. And I picked a starting point of Ballston Common Mall. > > Ballston to Greenbelt is 20ish miles and 30-60 minutes. Ballston to Springfield is 12ish miles and 18-25 minutes (in both cases I plugged in a departure time of about 8 AM on Monday). > > Do both of you plan to stay at your jobs for a very long time? (and have reasonable expectation of it staying that way, i.e. an industry that isn’t prone to layoffs, or you have specialized hard-to-replace critical skills). If one of you is more tied to a location, job-wise, while the other one could find a job elsewhere, I’d say move to near the more stable job. Say your husband is a widget-making-machine technician, and the only two places in the area that have ever made widgets are in Greenbelt and Laurel - while you’re a restaurant manager… move to Maryland because you could always find a job closer to home, but he could not. > > For folks who are saying “take transit” - that’s a good option for many, but suburb-to-suburb can be excruciatingly long. My husband’s drive is 30 minutes (if traffic is good) but Metro is a minimum of an hour - and that’s with Metro walking distance from his job, and a 5 minute drive from our house. If the workplace isn’t right near the Metro, that adds quite a bit more time as well what with waiting for a bus. > > I wonder if your workplace might become more telework-friendly at some point. A friend of mine works for an organization that was very ANTI telework for a while - then they realized they could offer more remote work instead of raises. My friend is actually fine with that - imagine saving 15 dollars mileage / parking, and 2 hours a day. Your company might be persuaded to think of things that way. Oh my gosh, I love that idea of asking for permission to telework rather than a raise. Thing is, my work could easily be done remotely, and I know my manager wouldn’t have a problem with me doing that, but our government customer isn’t a big fan of teleworking. (He can, however, be persuaded if you offer him sufficiently compelling circumstances. And if you offer to defer your pay raise, maybe that would be sufficiently compelling.) My job is stable, but it would be easier for me to get another job than it would be for him, because his would require significant re-training. Tbh, the primary thing that’s getting to me is that if I leave my job to buy a house out closer to where he is, I feel like I’m getting absolutely nothing. That he gets everything he wants and I’m making all the sacrifices. That’s just really hard to stomach. Currently, he’s the one making the sacrifices, since he’s living out by me, but that was more a by-product of our current situation. He had been living in a house with roommates who were moving out, so even if I moved in with him we still would have had to find another roommate (plus, who wants to be married with roommates?). I had one roommate who was moving out, so if he moved in it would neatly fill the vacancy and we’d be living without any other roommates. We intended to then find a house that fit our needs better, but the problem is that nothing is fitting our needs. I don’t even know what my needs are. His needs are so restrictive that I was never really afforded the luxury to think about what I’d like in a house. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2016, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-pick-a-house/748569/57 "2016-03-11T17:23:03Z")
These really are the facts of life around here. Location, cost, size. In most places, they say you can pick two of the three. If you’re going to live in the D.C. area, it’s more like you have to pick one of the three. The old American dream of a single-family detached house with a nice lawn in a cozy suburb—that’s not going to happen for your average Joe around here, not if you want a decent commute or if you aren’t swimming in money. And you’ve hit the nail on the head. Your husband can’t insist on both his (rather indulgent) insistence on a “large garage” and also on having a short commute that doesn’t include a bridge. And you have a health issue that makes a long drive particularly difficult. And you are likely going to have to choose between a location that’s going to give you the kind of commute you need and “an actual house (i.e., not a condo or townhouse).” Those of us who live around here who aren’t filthy rich don’t get all of everything we want. When we bought our house a few years ago, I gave up the house that I thought fit our space needs so that we could live in a nicer neighborhood with a better commute. Our place is 900 square feet—and it doesn’t fit our stuff, and we have no room to entertain guests. But we feel safe and our daily commute steals a little less time from us. That’s just the facts of life around here. It sucks. But unless we want to move to Toledo or Omaha or Detroit where houses are dirt cheap, that’s the way it is. ---
**Author:** ![filmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7993a0/32.png) [@filmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filmore)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2016, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-pick-a-house/748569/58 "2016-03-11T18:05:30Z")
> [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](#): > > Lucky for us, my father-in-law is a building inspector! So we’ve been consulting with him when we see houses we like that are in questionable shape. I’m so jealous! I wish I had that type of resource when I bought a house. I was so naive and made a lot of mistakes with both the house and how to finance it. It sounds like a big garage may be the unrealistic deal killer for many houses that might otherwise work out. One option for his car is to keep it at a boat storage location. It can stay on the trailer and he can work on it there or tow it to the house. A $500-$1000 generator can provide power at the storage location if he needs. He may also be able to keep the car in the backyard if there’s a way to get the trailer back there. The car will need a creative solution rather than being the #1 priority. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2016, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-pick-a-house/748569/59 "2016-03-11T18:10:11Z")
Don’t know any specifics about DC area commutes/housing, but I reiterate that I would figure out how to reduce total commute time/stress. Moving in between strikes me as a bad option, b/c you both will have potentially bad commutes. The 2 options I think look best are (in no particular order): - buy near your work with a big garage . H has a lousy commute, but is happy about the garage, and you can spend your shorter commute time doing somewhat more of the household chores/errands. -buy near him - either with or without garage, and you investigate work at home part of the time, or a new job. All kinds of other options, but those impress me as the 2 best. But I really think of commuting as work time for which you are not getting paid. I was willing to take a LONG commute, provided it was on the train, and I could read/nap, etc., and could work at home at least 1 day/week. For me, that would be wroth it if I had 3 days a week in an ideal location. Didn’t come about. Right now we are in a sweet spot, where I work 6 min from home, and work at home 2 days/week. Wife works 2 pt-time jobs, 1 10 min away, the other 15 min, and works out of her shop in the basement. We are not wealthy in money, but we consider ourselves RICH in time. ---
**Author:** ![Caffeine.addict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@Caffeine.addict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caffeine.addict)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2016, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-pick-a-house/748569/60 "2016-03-11T18:19:29Z")
Something has to give. It sounds like one of you works in the VA suburbs and one of you works in the MD suburbs, although the dangerous area makes me think Baltimore for some reason. The middle line so that both of you don’t have a heinous commute is to live in DC. But unless you have a really large budget, you aren’t getting a large house with a large garage anywhere close to the city or in the inner suburbs. My wife’s co-worker moved out to Leesburg and works in DC. She has to leave around 5:00 in the morning to get to work by 7:00. That kind of commute just feels soul crushing to me. My answer would be to focus on the location in terms of commute, quality of the neighborhood, and useful amenities. It would be easier if you gave us the locations like Silver Spring, or Arlington. I work in Old Town Alexandria, and live in Alexandria (Fairfax County) off of the GW Parkway. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-pick-a-house/748569.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-pick-a-house/748569.md?page=4)