# How do you PREVENT yourself from falling in love? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 25, 2003, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-prevent-yourself-from-falling-in-love/171177 "2003-04-25T19:19:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-prevent-yourself-from-falling-in-love/171177/21 "2003-04-26T04:36:23Z")
You could find one thing you do not like about him and obsesse (sp?) about one thing, while convincing yourself that you are to good for him. Whenever there is a girl that I like, but knows she doesn’t like me, I find one tiny flaw, and think about nothing about that flaw. It’s worked so far. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-prevent-yourself-from-falling-in-love/171177/22 "2003-04-26T05:43:24Z")
Ah, **Rand McNally** , that is an excellent tactic, BUT… he’s really great in bed and I want to continue to enjoy that. If I get the ick about his flaws, I won’t be able to do so anymore. No, what I think I’m going to do is just keep reminding myself to enjoy it while I can. I’m striving for that Buddhist non-attachment thing. I’ll let you know if it works… hell, if it works, I’ll write a book and wind up on Oprah… ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-prevent-yourself-from-falling-in-love/171177/23 "2003-04-26T15:38:56Z")
For me it’s more like say, in hearing & in voice & in love. This is because my partners (most of them anyway) serve as my ears (interpreter) & my voice (esp in loud surroundings). It’s sucks not having those three things, so you see, you can always have it better than someone else. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-prevent-yourself-from-falling-in-love/171177/24 "2003-04-26T18:13:35Z")
It depends on what being, or falling, ‘in love’ means. It’s a term that seems to mean something different, or works differently, for everyone. I’ve fallen in love, by my definition, exactly four times in my life, and I - the conscious ‘I’, as opposed to the almost black-box-like part of my soul that seems to make this call for me - didn’t have any more choice in or control over the matter than I do over the tides. IOW, I’m not much help. ---
**Author:** ![Rapunzel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/cc9497/32.png) [@Rapunzel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rapunzel)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-prevent-yourself-from-falling-in-love/171177/25 "2003-05-14T11:31:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rubystreak \* > \*\* What I’m trying to do is minimize my involvement in his day-to-day activities. Whatever he wants to tell me is fine, but I’m not probing, and I’m deliberately staying away from discussions about his exes, or mine, or his finances, or his future plans. I’m also trying not to think about him much when making mine. > > I also find that I’m trying to minimize the amount that I let out my dark side around him. I’m trying to be sweet, kind, flexible, and open-minded, even about things that annoy or trouble me. \*\* Ruby, I think there’s a verrry fine line between behaving ‘appropriately’ and editing your true self into oblivion. If he’s interested, he’ll appreciate your character as being ‘you’ - and if we’re using the word ‘love’ here - well, love isn’t that much hard work you know. Love feels honest and open and easy and warm. Love has fun with each other and bounces off one another. Love isn’t afraid to stick up for itself if something’s out of order! It’s the stuff that’s NOT love, the stuff that makes people miserable and suicidal - that makes you edit your words at every turn because you think he’ll walk off if you ask him about his ex. I don’t want to be harsh, but it sounds like you’re already counting the days till (he) says he doesn’t want to see you any more. And I’m sure that doesn’t feel good, and it certainly ain’t love. Listen to your inbuilt radar hon, it’s telling you all you need to know. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-prevent-yourself-from-falling-in-love/171177/26 "2003-05-14T22:49:17Z")
Funny you should say that, **Rapunzel** –it ended yesterday. Still hurt, even though there was no love. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-prevent-yourself-from-falling-in-love/171177.md?page=1)