# how do you \*really\* answer a greeting from someone? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 28, 2000, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-really-answer-a-greeting-from-someone/27244 "2000-07-28T17:40:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MagicalSilverKey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MagicalSilverKey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicalSilverKey)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2000, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-really-answer-a-greeting-from-someone/27244/1 "2000-07-28T17:40:24Z")
When anyone greets you, in person, on the phone, online, etc… and asks, “how are you today?” Do you answer truthfully, passively, or just flat out lie? In other words, if you are having a really bad day, for example, would you say: (a) “I’m having a really bad day” (b) “Fine, thanks.” © “I’m doing great!” Does it also depend on who is asking? ---
**Author:** ![Erika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/47e85d/32.png) [@Erika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erika)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2000, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-really-answer-a-greeting-from-someone/27244/2 "2000-07-28T17:46:55Z")
I’m ALWAYS “fine”. People who know me well can tell, by tone of voice, etc., what the actual status is. Strangers don’t care/don’t noice. I could be bleeding profusely and have just been notified of a death in my immediate family, and the answer to “how are you?” would be “fine, thanks.” ---
**Author:** ![struuter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@struuter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/struuter)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2000, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-really-answer-a-greeting-from-someone/27244/3 "2000-07-28T17:49:58Z")
MSK, I think there was a thread on this a while back…don’t ask me to provide it–I did my research yesterday for sdimbert’s party thread. But I will answer you just the same. _wink_ I have NEVER thought of an initial greeting like ‘how are you’ as a sincere statement of interest. It’s more of a greeting like ‘hello,’ ‘good morning,’ or ‘hey sweet baby, bring that fine package over my way.’ Oops. I only meant to think that last one… ahem. Therefore, I usually answer with a positive. ‘Fine.’ Or if I’m really doing great I say so. Here in the Midwest, it’s almost said in passing–like on the street to a stranger–without any expectation of an answer. In fact, I’m usually caught off guard when someone actually answers it. Because it means having to engage in a conversation that there may not be time for. Or you tend to get more information than you really wanted. Interestingly, I’ve noticed that if a person is genuinely interested in how you are doing, they will preface that question with ‘So.’ “SO, how are you?” More information than you wanted…? Sorry. SO, MSK…how YOU doin’? struuter ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2000, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-really-answer-a-greeting-from-someone/27244/4 "2000-07-28T17:51:03Z")
Of course it depends on who’s asking. If my mom asks me how I’m doing on a bad day, I’ll probably just tell her, “I’m doing shitty, this is why.” If someone who’s not so interested in my personal problems asks, I’ll spare them the information and answer simply, “Fine, thanks.” ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2000, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-really-answer-a-greeting-from-someone/27244/5 "2000-07-28T17:53:14Z")
I’ve found “I’m here” works when I’m not feeling good. People don’t ask further. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2000, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-really-answer-a-greeting-from-someone/27244/6 "2000-07-28T17:57:33Z")
I’m usually “Finethanksyou?” but for the first person of the day, I’m always “So far, so good.” About one person in 10 sees any humor in it at all. To ladies I find attractive, I am universally “Good” in the hopes that one of these days, one of them will note that, gramatically speaking, that can only be taken one way. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2000, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-really-answer-a-greeting-from-someone/27244/7 "2000-07-28T22:15:17Z")
Usually I just answer based on the weather. ‘It’s cold’ “Im hot” etc. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2000, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-really-answer-a-greeting-from-someone/27244/8 "2000-07-28T22:18:20Z")
just ducky. the tone of voice tells all. ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2000, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-really-answer-a-greeting-from-someone/27244/9 "2000-07-28T22:18:30Z")
If it’s a guy, I say “Get away from me, freak!” (Note: No offense is implied to FreakFreely)…if it’s a girl I say “I’ve been a baaad boy, but you can make me better!” hehehee… ---
**Author:** ![lolagranola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ea5d25/32.png) [@lolagranola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lolagranola)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2000, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-really-answer-a-greeting-from-someone/27244/10 "2000-07-28T22:22:40Z")
If I’m having a bad day, I say “Can I lie?”. Sometimes people say yes, sometimes no. If they say yes, I put on the brightest, happiest smile I can fake and tell them how fab my life is going. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Vega](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a9adbd/32.png) [@Lord\_Vega](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Vega)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2000, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-really-answer-a-greeting-from-someone/27244/11 "2000-07-28T22:46:43Z")
“Yep, I’m dooing.” Works for me. V. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2000, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-really-answer-a-greeting-from-someone/27244/12 "2000-07-28T22:55:10Z")
“So far, so good.” ---
**Author:** ![winky99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/71c47a/32.png) [@winky99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/winky99)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2000, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-really-answer-a-greeting-from-someone/27244/13 "2000-07-28T22:57:04Z")
“Great! And you?” No matter what. No sense in dragging other people into my horrible days. ---
**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2000, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-really-answer-a-greeting-from-someone/27244/14 "2000-07-28T22:57:50Z")
I try to ask if they want the truth or the usual. After they have been snared in as a friend they are stuck with the truth, willing or no. ---
**Author:** ![Rosebud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rosebud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rosebud)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2000, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-really-answer-a-greeting-from-someone/27244/15 "2000-07-28T23:16:50Z")
If the asker is a friend or family member, and I’m having a crummy or less than fantastic day, the answer is usually “Eh…” or sometimes a flat out description of why I feel that my life sucks at that particular moment. Everyone else, like people who call me for work-related stuff and say “How are you?” when what they mean is “I’m schmoozing and I don’t really give a crap how you are,” gets the “Fine, thanks, and you?” treatment. I’ve actually had the latter type move right on to “That’s great! Here’s why I’m calling…” before I can even respond. ---
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2000, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-really-answer-a-greeting-from-someone/27244/16 "2000-07-29T00:01:41Z")
I have real trouble with this. I know I’m _supposed_ to just say “fine,” but for some reason I often end up saying something like, “I have an incredibly bad sinus infection,” or “Well, I just bought this really cool leather jacket…” Sometimes I stop myself in time and say something like, “Uh…O.K.” I hate that question. ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2000, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-really-answer-a-greeting-from-someone/27244/17 "2000-07-29T00:04:48Z")
It varies. If I’m not doing good, I do “eh, not to bad.” If I’m doing well I go “pretty good.” Both in relatively flat tones. ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2000, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-really-answer-a-greeting-from-someone/27244/18 "2000-07-29T00:08:25Z")
“Grand” . ---
**Author:** ![Welfy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e56c9b/32.png) [@Welfy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Welfy)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2000, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-really-answer-a-greeting-from-someone/27244/19 "2000-07-29T00:12:38Z")
It all depends, I guess. To people who I’m not close to: “I’m GREAT!”, “I’m decent”, “I’m still breathing.” Friends and family: “Well, besides this-and-that happening (like my hair catching on fire), I’m just wonderful!” When I’m being flirty: “Good, now that you’re here.” “Oh, just mahhhvelous, dahling!” _wink_ ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2000, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-really-answer-a-greeting-from-someone/27244/20 "2000-07-29T00:53:00Z")
What really annoys me is the stupid convention that you’re supposed to lie when someone wakes you up with a call and asks if you were sleeping. If you say “yes, I was” they get really offended for some reason. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-really-answer-a-greeting-from-someone/27244.md?page=2)