# How do you respond to "I love you" when it's not mutual? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 1, 2002, 9:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-respond-to-i-love-you-when-its-not-mutual/111873 "2002-06-01T09:41:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dale\_The\_Bold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/41988e/32.png) [@Dale\_The\_Bold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_The_Bold)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-respond-to-i-love-you-when-its-not-mutual/111873/21 "2002-06-02T06:09:14Z")
That’s nothing. I dated a girl who used to repeatedly ask “Do you love me?” It annoyed me to the point where I began to answer “Occasionally.” ---
**Author:** ![ClairificC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ea924/32.png) [@ClairificC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ClairificC)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-respond-to-i-love-you-when-its-not-mutual/111873/22 "2002-06-02T06:09:35Z")
I’ve used “Thank You” and ment it. See my reasoning behind that, is "wow, someone loves me and accepts me for who I am… thank you for that. " But damn it’s an akward situtation. I’m so-oo glad it hasn’t happened in awhile. ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Salads](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mr\_Salads](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Salads)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-respond-to-i-love-you-when-its-not-mutual/111873/23 "2002-06-02T07:09:26Z")
“Why?” Itll be somewhat decepriative, but it’ll carry the conversation to her and the ball will be in the other person’s court. Make sure you ask it with a smile, followed by, “I’m not good enough to love.” ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Salads](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mr\_Salads](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Salads)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-respond-to-i-love-you-when-its-not-mutual/111873/24 "2002-06-02T07:10:53Z")
“Why?” Itll be somewhat self-decepriative, but it’ll carry the conversation to her and the ball will be in the other person’s court. Make sure you ask it with a smile, followed by, “I’m not good enough to love.” ---
**Author:** ![jmpride62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@jmpride62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jmpride62)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-respond-to-i-love-you-when-its-not-mutual/111873/25 "2002-06-02T11:33:00Z")
**Update…** We discussed it, and he says that he knew how I felt and was not expecting reciprocation although it would have been nice. He just wanted to let me know how much he valued the relationship. The problem with my initial response was that (according to him) it made him feel like a 13 year old. Apparently, my reaction reminded him of his mom’s reaction to his first major puppy love crush. It certainly was not my intention, but I guess I can see his point. \ ---
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-respond-to-i-love-you-when-its-not-mutual/111873/26 "2002-06-02T12:05:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JillGat \* > \*\*A male friend of mine said he used to keep a tube sock in the car for this purpose. Just thought I’d pass on that handy tip. \*\* This was supposed to be posted in the thread asking about people who masturbated in the car while driving. Well, I guess it’s appropriate here too, as handy tips are always nice to have. ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-respond-to-i-love-you-when-its-not-mutual/111873/27 "2002-06-02T12:45:47Z")
Thanks for the clarification, Jill. I was reading and rereading that and wondering if there was something about tube socks that I, as a guy, was supposed to know about in a situation like this. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-respond-to-i-love-you-when-its-not-mutual/111873/28 "2002-06-02T13:32:11Z")
I once told a girl I loved her. She said, “No, you don’t.” . . . . . Maybe she was right. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-respond-to-i-love-you-when-its-not-mutual/111873.md?page=1)