# How do you respond to the “Let people enjoy things” argument? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [September 13, 2026, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-respond-to-the-let-people-enjoy-things-argument/1033028 "2026-09-13T02:46:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2026, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-respond-to-the-let-people-enjoy-things-argument/1033028/41 "2026-09-13T20:03:20Z")
> [@steronz](#): > > If you like to get shitfaced 3 or 4 days a week, maybe that’s something you can do for a while without it impacting anyone else. But if you get into a barfight, that’s a cost to society – the bar owner loses money, cops and emergency medical professionals may be involved, etc. If you lose your job, you may end up leaning financially on your network. How are you going to make it illegal for the person who gets shitfaced four times a week without forbidding it for the hordes of people who have a glass of wine or a beer with dinner, or for that matter a shot of scotch twice a week? And how, in practice, are you going to prevent the shitfaced person from getting shitfaced anyway? And how, if it’s all illegal, are you going to make sure that what’s on the label is what’s actually in the container, thereby preventing people from accidentally poisoning themselves and/or winding up a lot drunker than they intended? Nothing that humans want to do is entirely controllable; but legal things are a lot more controllable than illegal ones. We learned that one during Prohibition. ---
**Author:** ![steronz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steronz/32/11765_2.png) [@steronz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/steronz)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2026, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-respond-to-the-let-people-enjoy-things-argument/1033028/42 "2026-09-13T20:18:49Z")
Yes, here are some things I listed in that post that need to be weighed: - the benefit of that behavior to the individual - the benefit of that behavior to the perception of freedom - the risk of using the government’s power (potential for abuse) - the collective external costs of dealing with that behavior, etc Most societies have weighed various factors and decided that it’s best to keep alcohol legal and deal with some of the worst aspects through general taxes. Most societies have done a similar debate over heroin, and decided that it’s best to keep heroin illegal (although increasingly in progressive countries, not strictly criminal), knowing that’s not a perfect solution. You can’t make blanket statements about drugs. Each one has to be weighed individually. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2026, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-respond-to-the-let-people-enjoy-things-argument/1033028/43 "2026-09-13T23:21:26Z")
Fair enough. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2026, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-respond-to-the-let-people-enjoy-things-argument/1033028/44 "2026-09-14T06:11:54Z")
Some people feel the need to control others “for their own good”. To quote the (possibly apocryphal) line from Ambrose Bierce (or H. L. Mencken), the definition of _Puritanism_ is: “The haunting feeling that someone, somewhere, might be happy.” ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2026, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-respond-to-the-let-people-enjoy-things-argument/1033028/45 "2026-09-14T08:47:35Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > Some people feel the need to control others “for their own good”. I think this motivation is often blended with the general disgust reaction that people have regarding the actions (or sometimes _mere existence_) of others - “people should stop doing that, it’s bad” is not really all that different from “people should stop doing that, _I find it disgusting_”. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2026, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-respond-to-the-let-people-enjoy-things-argument/1033028/46 "2026-09-14T11:40:07Z")
wrt HOAs, some developers have turned them into a money printing machine. They have subsidiaries which “manage” the large neighborhood they have built and each homeowner has to sign the HOA contract in order to buy into the neighborhood. Technically the owners do vote on things, but I’m not sure they can actually vote the management company out - or if they can it takes an unreasonable quorum and percentage. The HOA where I live manages three clubhouses, each with a gym, a swimming pool, and rental spaces. So the developers will continue making money on this neighborhood 100 years after the last residence was sold. Obviously, this only works in areas where housing is tight, but where is there plenty of housing? ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2026, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-respond-to-the-let-people-enjoy-things-argument/1033028/47 "2026-09-14T18:54:47Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > Some people feel the need to control others “for their own good”. To quote the (possibly apocryphal) line from Ambrose Bierce (or H. L. Mencken), the definition of _Puritanism_ is: > > “The haunting feeling that someone, somewhere, might be happy.” Here is a great site for quotes- [https://quoteinvestigator.com/2020/06/25/puritanism/](https://quoteinvestigator.com/2020/06/25/puritanism/) > **Puritanism.—The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.** > The proper ascription to Mencken was clarified when the quotation appeared in his 1949 collection “A Mencken Chrestomathy”. The details are presented further below. > [@TruCelt](#): > > but I’m not sure they can actually vote the management company out - or if they can it takes an unreasonable quorum and percentage. My thought is yes they can- with a majority vote of a certain quorum. That quorum may be hard to reach, especially as many Condos are not lived in by their owners, the owners living some distance and could even be shell companies. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2026, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-respond-to-the-let-people-enjoy-things-argument/1033028/48 "2026-09-14T19:14:51Z")
> [@Cmyers1980](#): > > Does something have to strictly concern harm (or at least obvious harm like physical injury or death) of some kind for a sane, moral and rational person to care about it or wish it didn’t happen? If you want me to care what you think about someone else’s behavior, then there has to be some kind of harm involved. If there’s no harm, or at least no inordinate amount of harm, then why are we even talking about it? One thing I’m thinking of here is marijuana. Pretty much any substance you can put in your body carries some kind of risk, but as long as we’re letting people consume alcohol, which is more destructive than some illegal drugs, prohibiting marijuana should not even be a live discussion. If you care about eliminating dangerous drugs, prove it by criminalizing alcohol. If you’re not bold enough to go that far, then leave the potheads alone, because by comparison it’s nearly harmless. But on a different note, usually when I hear “let people enjoy things” deployed, harm isn’t in the conversation at all. It’s more in line with simply judging people for having unusual tastes. i.e. you may have a lot of opinions about “Disney Adults”, many people do find them weird. I don’t get it at all, it does raise my eyebrows in certain ways. But it hurts nobody at all, it gives enjoyment to some and employment to others, so live and let live. Let people enjoy things. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2026, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-respond-to-the-let-people-enjoy-things-argument/1033028/50 "2026-09-14T19:19:46Z")
> [@HMS\_Irruncible](#): > > i.e. you may have a lot of opinions about “Disney Adults”, many people do find them weird. My brother’s last girlfriend was one of them. She was a psycho (still is, I suspect). I don’t blame Disney for that. It was just one of many signs. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2026, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-respond-to-the-let-people-enjoy-things-argument/1033028/51 "2026-09-14T19:23:24Z")
> [@Cmyers1980](#): > > Examples would include drug use, social media, gambling, AI relationships, pornography, etc. I have never ever heard “Let People Enjoy Things” said about any of these topics. Have you? Can you point to any online examples? ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2026, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-respond-to-the-let-people-enjoy-things-argument/1033028/55 "2026-09-14T19:33:46Z")
> [@HMS\_Irruncible](#): > > It’s more in line with simply judging people for having unusual tastes. i.e. you may have a lot of opinions about “Disney Adults”, many people do find them weird. Walt said this- “To all who come to this happy place: Welcome. Disneyland is your land. Here age relives fond memories of the past—and here youth may savor the challenge and promise of the future. Disneyland is dedicated to the ideals, the dreams and the hard facts that have created America—with the hope that it will be a source of joy and inspiration to all the world.” So, there is nothing at all wrong or weird about being a “Disney Adult”. The Park was designed for them in mind also. I think it is just parents selfishly wanting the park to themselves, and then jamming up everything with strollers- often used as shopping carts. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2026, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-respond-to-the-let-people-enjoy-things-argument/1033028/56 "2026-09-14T19:35:35Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > So, there is nothing at all wrong or weird about being a “Disney Adult”. uh-oh. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2026, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-respond-to-the-let-people-enjoy-things-argument/1033028/59 "2026-09-15T01:44:31Z")
> [@HMS\_Irruncible](#): > > usually when I hear “let people enjoy things” deployed, harm isn’t in the conversation at all. It’s more in line with simply judging people for having unusual tastes. Right, add me to those who mostly hear that discourse in this sense. A response to someone/something being judged as “cringe” or condescended at (implying that enjoying it is something you should put behind). And the response is oh come on let people enjoy things. That’s IMO a different dialog than those over “victimless crimes” or harm reduction or utilitarian morals or commonality of mores that a lot of the thread has been spinning around. ---
**Author:** ![ParallelLines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/parallellines/32/3575_2.png) [@ParallelLines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParallelLines)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2026, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-respond-to-the-let-people-enjoy-things-argument/1033028/63 "2026-09-15T03:39:02Z")
**Moderating:** I have spun off the societal stability hijack into it’s own thread taking about 10 posts from this one. > [@Is a homogenous society a better, healthier option in the modern age?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-a-homogenous-society-a-better-healthier-option-in-the-modern-age/1033066): > > I’ve come to believe that a homogeneous society, like that in Japan, is much healthier than a society consisting of many different value systems and behavior. I see the components of our society pulling against one another to the point where we don’t have an identity anymore that we can actually point to and say, “THAT represents America.” I see nothing good coming from this, and every group wants to blame every other group for being the problem. ---
**Author:** ![suranyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@suranyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suranyi)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2026, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-respond-to-the-let-people-enjoy-things-argument/1033028/64 "2026-09-15T03:48:20Z")
> [@F.U.Shakespeare](#): > > My understanding is that the goal of HOAs is to preserve property values. When I bought my house, I deliberately avoided buying anyplace where I’d be subject to a HOA. That’s only one goal. The other, which is far more important, is that the HOA maintains the common property, especially in a condominium complex. (I speak as one of the board members of the HOA of my townhouse complex.) ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2026, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-respond-to-the-let-people-enjoy-things-argument/1033028/65 "2026-09-15T06:02:40Z")
Right - unlike with houses, where a HOA is always optional, in a condominium an HOA is a necessity. Someone has to keep the lights on in the lobby. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2026, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-respond-to-the-let-people-enjoy-things-argument/1033028/66 "2026-09-15T08:00:39Z")
> [@HMS\_Irruncible](#): > > But on a different note, usually when I hear “let people enjoy things” deployed, harm isn’t in the conversation at all. Agreed. But I can see asking where the line is for that, and that could easily go into these other things, where harm can be relevant. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2026, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-respond-to-the-let-people-enjoy-things-argument/1033028/67 "2026-09-15T08:05:58Z")
> [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](#): > > Kate Wagner (of the “McMansion Hell” blog) wrote a counterargument specifically with reference to the “let people enjoy popular mainstream entertainment” Wagner seems to miss what the meme is about. It’s not about people who simply dislike things. It’s about people who shit on people for not liking things. This can sometimes include certain over-the-top negative reactions in fan spaces, where they seem to be trying to start a fight. This is the bulk of how I have moderate spaces. In short, it’s another version of this oldie: [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/0la5DBtOVNI/hqdefault.jpg "It's okay to not like things") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0la5DBtOVNI) ---
**Author:** ![rsat3acr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a3d4f5/32.png) [@rsat3acr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rsat3acr)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2026, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-respond-to-the-let-people-enjoy-things-argument/1033028/68 "2026-09-15T15:00:30Z")
**Alessan** , HOAs are not always optional with houses. I lived in Flower Mound TX (DFW metro). The town was about 75,000 when I lived there. City requires all houses/neighborhoods to be in an HOA. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2026, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-respond-to-the-let-people-enjoy-things-argument/1033028/69 "2026-09-15T15:39:13Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Wagner seems to miss what the meme is about. It’s not about people who simply dislike things. It’s about people who shit on people for not liking things. This can sometimes include certain over-the-top negative reactions in fan spaces, where they seem to be trying to start a fight. This is the bulk of how I have moderate spaces. They’re just flip sides of the same coin; basically it’s people getting agitated because others have different opinions, views, and behaviors. From where I sit, it’s the same people giving me the stink-eye if I tell them I’m an amateur mixologist/cocktail hobbyist, and who do the same when I tell them I don’t go to church often, if at all. Ultimately they have their own views on how the world is, and _how it should be_, and they get judgmental about people who don’t fall into that _how it should be_ box, whether it’s for things they do, or things they don’t do. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-respond-to-the-let-people-enjoy-things-argument/1033028.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-respond-to-the-let-people-enjoy-things-argument/1033028.md?page=4)