# How do you see yourself? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 14, 2016, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-see-yourself/752155 "2016-04-14T01:24:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/848f3c/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-see-yourself/752155/21 "2016-04-14T14:22:29Z")
In my experience, compromising on your dreams is a big part of adulthood. It’s not about _giving up_ on your ideals, it’s about genuinely adjusting them. As you grow up and gain more life experience, you realize you can’t fit every dream you’ve ever had into your life in exactly the way you planned it. Resenting your life for not turning out precisely as you dreamed it is, frankly, childish. If you’ve \*always \*wanted to do something then we can infer you decided that as a youth and we know for a fact that all youths are unrealistic and clueless. Take some time to grieve for your younger self’s disappointment and then figure out how to make the most of your present situation. For example, if I dreamed of being a writer I’d write in my free time. Anyone can publish a book easily with Amazon’s CreateSpace. You might have to give up on the part of the dream where your writing provides for you financially or more than a tiny handful of people ever read your book, but so what? ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-see-yourself/752155/22 "2016-04-14T14:35:26Z")
[Like this](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-08LFoovV_Qs/UMN1M3X7M3I/AAAAAAAACzg/z2g9DqsUyLE/s1600/Casino+royale+Venice.jpg). What?.. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-see-yourself/752155/23 "2016-04-14T14:57:24Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > I just use a mirror. This. > [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](#): > > In my experience, compromising on your dreams is a big part of adulthood. It’s not about _giving up_ on your ideals, it’s about genuinely adjusting them. As you grow up and gain more life experience, you realize you can’t fit every dream you’ve ever had into your life in exactly the way you planned it. > > Resenting your life for not turning out precisely as you dreamed it is, frankly, childish. If you’ve \*always \*wanted to do something then we can infer you decided that as a youth and we know for a fact that all youths are unrealistic and clueless. And this. I don’t define myself by accomplishments. That is insane. There is always someone who is better than you at everything. I define myself by, “Am I a good person?” If I can say yes then I am winning at life. Everything else is details. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-see-yourself/752155/24 "2016-04-14T15:01:24Z")
Most of the time I just look down, as that’s where most of me tends to be from my eyes… For other things it will depend on the specific question being asked. In this case the question appears to be about self worth, really. Mine is one. I am worth exactly one Nava and I am the one person in the world who is worth exactly one Nava. I’m my own unit of measure. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-see-yourself/752155/25 "2016-04-14T15:14:31Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > I define myself by, “Am I a good person?” If I can say yes then I am winning at life. The critics be damned. > [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > Everything else is details. Fortunately, the devil has those covered. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-see-yourself/752155/26 "2016-04-14T15:15:56Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > I’m my own unit of measure. So the bathroom scale lies?.. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-see-yourself/752155/27 "2016-04-14T16:04:31Z")
Sometimes I feel that furries will end up being the group everyone discriminates against. Whatever. I was never cool, so go ahead and make fun if you want. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-see-yourself/752155/28 "2016-04-14T16:37:02Z")
I’m curious; Are those things machine wash or dry clean only? ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-see-yourself/752155/29 "2016-04-14T19:22:36Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > No idea what your Jewishness has to do with anything. But my larger point is if you wanted to be a writer, then nothing’s stopping you from writing. I mean I am more closely related to Franz Kafka then to any American writer. He turned great anguish and desperation into great art. ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-see-yourself/752155/30 "2016-04-14T19:24:38Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > I can spiral into self-hate, or I can get off the couch and mow my backyard or work on a manuscript or create a piece of art. I can let the feelings of inferiority make me walk with my head down, or I can thrust my chest forward and walk with an air of confidence, appreciating the fact that even if most people in the room are “better” than me, there’s no way I’m the absolute worst person. I can be down on myself for a few hours or so, but I don’t have to broadcast it to the world. I don’t have to let a bad self-image define me. Thanks for sharing. Many great works of art and fiction came from the authors desperation and anguish. ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-see-yourself/752155/31 "2016-04-14T19:26:38Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > perhaps he could write the Great Russian-Jewish Novel By An Autistic Depressed Math PhD. Or is that not specific enough? Not a novel but a collection of short stories and sayings. I see Franz Kafka as one of my role models. ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-see-yourself/752155/32 "2016-04-14T19:29:48Z")
> [@guestchaz](#): > > You know **CCitizen** that’s an interesting question. > For me its a little bit of all, but really none of them. > To explain; Mom always wanted me to be either a Physician or Attorney, Successful Business Man would have sufficed in a pinch. BLECH! > But Mommy Dearest would not allow me to pursue my interests at a point when I feel it was critical in Jr. High and High School. Thank you for sharing. My parents wanted me to be in STEM which I mostly **hate with passion**. And even though I have been pressured into getting a PhD in Math, I have very little income and I have not achieved anything. ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-see-yourself/752155/33 "2016-04-14T20:45:04Z")
I am not motivated by achievement. So, I would say more about my ideals. I consider myself to be fairly successful at certain conventional aspects of personhood and adulthood and spousehood and parenthood. However, I am equally unsuccessful at other conventional aspects that I value, such as sociability. I think an outside observer would agree with this. Moving on from that assessment, deeper down I value and celebrate the creative and unconventional. I have not been successful at all in incorporating my appreciation for the creative and unconventional into my life. I would not expect an outsider to have any notion of this. So, by those measures I consider myself overall as unsuccessful. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-see-yourself/752155/34 "2016-04-14T20:53:28Z")
> [@CCitizen](#): > > Thank you for sharing. My parents wanted me to be in STEM which I mostly **hate with passion**. And even though I have been pressured into getting a PhD in Math, I have very little income and I have not achieved anything. Other than that, how’d you like the play Mrs Lincoln? ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-see-yourself/752155/35 "2016-04-14T20:58:02Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > I just use a mirror. Pfft. I have flunkies to describe myself to me each morning. ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-see-yourself/752155/36 "2016-04-14T20:59:09Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > I just use a mirror. You can only see the outer part of your body – not your soul. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-see-yourself/752155/37 "2016-04-14T21:09:49Z")
That’s because you’re buying cheap mirrors. Spend a little more and you can see _everything_. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-see-yourself/752155/38 "2016-04-14T21:25:24Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > I define myself by, “Am I a good person?” If I can say yes then I am winning at life. I agree! And I do say yes, no matter what the ghosts in my crawlspace scream at me at night! ---
**Author:** ![Chicken\_Fingers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Chicken\_Fingers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chicken_Fingers)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-see-yourself/752155/39 "2016-04-14T22:33:50Z")
I see myself as millions of rainbows and sparkly bits. I’d like to achieve more in life, but I would never define myself by achievements. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2016, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-see-yourself/752155/40 "2016-04-14T22:43:24Z")
I have achieved my ideal. Working class upbringing, college dropout, lived by my wits alone, working intermittently. Haven’t had an unpaid debt since 1972 (car loan). There is nothing I wish I had done, and I got away with the stupid things I did do. Now I’m just tying up some loose ends, with no regrets nor angst, as I enter my last quarter of a century… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-see-yourself/752155.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-see-yourself/752155.md?page=3)