# How do you short-sheet a bed? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [December 1, 2005, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-short-sheet-a-bed/333587 "2005-12-01T18:31:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-short-sheet-a-bed/333587/21 "2005-12-05T09:12:00Z")
> [@Slithy Tove](#): > > Well, if your target is female, before going to bed you put Saran Wrap over the rim of the toilet bowl, then put the seat down over it. I don’t see what relevance a female target has to this? Seems like the result will be similar for either a male or female target. Possibly even messier for a male! ---
**Author:** ![slaphead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@slaphead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slaphead)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-short-sheet-a-bed/333587/22 "2005-12-05T11:29:36Z")
> [@TheLoadedDog](#): > > I sleep the same way all the Asians I know do. That is, there is a normal bottom sheet (either fitted or flat), and there is a doona/duvet which you throw over yourself. No top sheet. The doona is a padded cotton affair which has a bag-like cover on it. Aha! You, and all the asians you know, are sleeping like CIVILIZED HUMAN BEINGS!!. This is usual in most of Europe apart from in certain international hotel chains and in the UK (where it is becoming more common as it is much easier). What you refer to as the “traditional western sense” is actually some half-witted obscure anglo-saxon nonsense which: [ul] [li]Makes it impossible to stay comfortable if you turn over a lot in your sleep[/li][li]Forces you to pull all the sheets out and virtually unmake the bed if you don’t like sleeping strapped down to the mattress like some sort of convulsive loon.[/li][li]Makes everything unnecessarily complicated when making the bed[/li][/ul] Whenever I get into a hotel room and see it has the whole sheets/blanket thing going on, my heart sinks. What is the attraction of this throwback to the victorian era? Why oh why oh why can’t everyone standardise on just using a nice eiderdown/duvet/doona/dyne or whatever you want to call it in a cotton cover? It’s soooo much easier and more comfortable. Plus, it’s resistant to the whole short-sheeting thing (also known as an apple-pie bed, I believe). 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-short-sheet-a-bed/333587/23 "2005-12-05T11:37:46Z")
> [@t-bonham@scc.net](#): > > I don’t see what relevance a female target has to this? Seems like the result will be similar for either a male or female target. Possibly even messier for a male! I’m guessing the unstated assumption is that the target is drunk enough not to notice such obvious tampering. A guy in that scenario probably would not notice the Saran Wrap and simply end up with urine all over the place. Being utterly sloshed, he wouldn’t see this as a problem and would happily go off to bed. A girl in that scenario, on the other hand, would sit down and end up getting splashed with her own urine, due to the aforementioned Wrap. Even drunk people don’t like peeing on themselves, and the ensuing annoyance would engender yux from the knuckle-draggers who engineered the prank. Defecation, on the other hand, presents equal problems for people of both genders, and a much worse mess. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-short-sheet-a-bed/333587/24 "2005-12-05T12:01:56Z")
> [@slaphead](#): > > Aha! You, and all the asians you know, are sleeping like CIVILIZED HUMAN BEINGS!!. This is usual in most of Europe apart from in certain international hotel chains and in the UK (where it is becoming more common as it is much easier). What you refer to as the “traditional western sense” is actually some half-witted obscure anglo-saxon nonsense which: > [ul] > [li]Makes it impossible to stay comfortable if you turn over a lot in your sleep[/li][li]Forces you to pull all the sheets out and virtually unmake the bed if you don’t like sleeping strapped down to the mattress like some sort of convulsive loon.[/li][li]Makes everything unnecessarily complicated when making the bed[/li][/ul] > Whenever I get into a hotel room and see it has the whole sheets/blanket thing going on, my heart sinks. What is the attraction of this throwback to the victorian era? Why oh why oh why can’t everyone standardise on just using a nice eiderdown/duvet/doona/dyne or whatever you want to call it in a cotton cover? It’s soooo much easier and more comfortable. > > Plus, it’s resistant to the whole short-sheeting thing (also known as an apple-pie bed, I believe). 😃 I think you people are total neaderthals. If the bed lacks a top sheet or that top sheet is untucked and askew on the bed it drives me batty. I think this is partially because I’m a tall guy and a untucked or top sheetless bed means that my feet stick out the bottom of the bed and get cold. I was on a class trip to Germany and many of the hotels we stayed in had this style of bedding without a sheet. I didn’t know what to do with myself and I ended up unbuttoning the duvet and sleeping inside of it with the comforter over top of me. ---
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-short-sheet-a-bed/333587/25 "2005-12-05T12:20:57Z")
> [@Slithy Tove](#): > > Yeah, I hate fitted bottom sheets, too. They’re 0.25-times easier to make the bed with than a flat with hospital corners, but 5-times harder to fold and put in the linen closet. But since sheets are sold in sets of fitted bottom with flat tops, what are you gonna do? > > Well, if your target is female, before going to bed you put Saran Wrap over the rim of the toilet bowl, then put the seat down over it. Or (for male AND female targets), you could load their pillow with baby powder. Just lift the top side of the pillowcase, empty a can of powder onto the pillow, smooth down the pillowcase so that that powder doesn’t show, and carefully lay the pillow powder side up on their bed. When they flop down onto the pillow–POOF!!! Powder everywhere! Of course, you wouldn’t want to do this to someone with allergies or asthma or anything like that–but when we pulled this prank at summer camp, it sure got a lot of laughs! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![slaphead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@slaphead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slaphead)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-short-sheet-a-bed/333587/26 "2005-12-05T12:43:16Z")
> [@Omniscient](#): > > I didn’t know what to do with myself and I ended up unbuttoning the duvet and sleeping inside of it with the comforter over top of me. Thank you for the monday morning chuckle. That is a hilarous mental image. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-short-sheet-a-bed/333587/27 "2005-12-05T13:09:03Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > Good joke huh? No, it is silly and ineffective and makes little sense in this day and age when people don’t make beds so formally anymore. Personally, I prefer a snipe hunt myself. Nah, it’s still a good joke. On my wedding day, my parents’ friends snuck in and short-sheeted my dad’s bed. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![FlyingRamenMonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@FlyingRamenMonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingRamenMonster)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-short-sheet-a-bed/333587/28 "2005-12-05T13:55:36Z")
> [@Omniscient](#): > > I think you people are total neaderthals. If the bed lacks a top sheet or that top sheet is untucked and askew on the bed it drives me batty. I think this is partially because I’m a tall guy and a untucked or top sheetless bed means that my feet stick out the bottom of the bed and get cold. > > I was on a class trip to Germany and many of the hotels we stayed in had this style of bedding without a sheet. I didn’t know what to do with myself and I ended up unbuttoning the duvet and sleeping inside of it with the comforter over top of me. What? :dubious: Try this next time: 1. Cover yourself with the sheet. 2. Lift your legs. 3. Put them down again. There. The bottom is now tucked under your feet. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-short-sheet-a-bed/333587/29 "2005-12-05T14:18:49Z")
> [@FlyingRamenMonster](#): > > What? :dubious: Try this next time: > > 1. Cover yourself with the sheet. > 2. Lift your legs. > 3. Put them down again. > > There. The bottom is now tucked under your feet. I do this when I am forced to because of the absence of aa proper fitted sheet/flat sheet combination. It makes me feel like I’m camping and I hate it. I like tucked sheets. Frankly, I don’t see what the problem is. If you don’t want them tucked, then just pull them out. It’s not like it takes some super-human strength to do so. > [@t-bonham@scc.net](#): > > I don’t see what relevance a female target has to this? Seems like the result will be similar for either a male or female target. Possibly even messier for a male! It makes a difference if you’re wrapping only the seat, nto the rim. Because a man will pee with it lifted, so no go. And, as was mentioned before, a man might not get any splashback. > [@](#): > > Whenever I get into a hotel room and see it has the whole sheets/blanket thing going on, my heart sinks. What is the attraction of this throwback to the victorian era? Why oh why oh why can’t everyone standardise on just using a nice eiderdown/duvet/doona/dyne or whatever you want to call it in a cotton cover? It’s soooo much easier and more comfortable. I don’t agree and I don’t get why it’s such a problem for you. I simply prefer the feel of cotton sheets next to my skin. I don’t like the feel of a comforter or whatever. And I seem to have no problem moving around in my sleep as a result. I like a nice tuck because then I can do all kinds of moving around with no danger of my feet sticking out. Simple. And I don’t know about anyone else, but I sweat in my sleep and thus the sheets require regular changing and laundering. I wouldn’t want to have to launder my blankets and comforters so often. ---
**Author:** ![slaphead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@slaphead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slaphead)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-short-sheet-a-bed/333587/30 "2005-12-05T16:52:36Z")
> [@acsenray](#): > > Frankly, I don’t see what the problem is. If you don’t want them tucked, then just pull them out. It’s not like it takes some super-human strength to do so. Nope, but it does mean that the bottom sheet comes untucked from round the mattress, whcih needs to be rectified in order to prevent it becoming all wrinkled up and uncomfortable. The last thing I want to do after checking into the Hilton at twenty to midnight is to unmake a king-size bed and redo all the hospital corners and stuff. Then I have to put up with a sheet and a horse blanket on top of me getting all mixed up and in a mess. I tells ya, it’s a real hardship. Where’s my waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah smiley? ---
**Author:** ![FlyingRamenMonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@FlyingRamenMonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingRamenMonster)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-short-sheet-a-bed/333587/31 "2005-12-05T17:56:52Z")
> [@acsenray](#): > > I do this when I am forced to because of the absence of aa proper fitted sheet/flat sheet combination. It makes me feel like I’m camping and I hate it. I like tucked sheets. Frankly, I don’t see what the problem is. If you don’t want them tucked, then just pull them out. It’s not like it takes some super-human strength to do so. Whereas I prefer it because you can wrap the blanket around you any way you want. It’s _snuggly_. Tucked sheets mean you sleep propping up a tent. Blagh. And yeah, you _can_ pull them out, but then what’s the point of tucking in at all? Besides, I move around _plenty_ while I sleep and I’ve never woken up to find my feet sticking out, except for that one time I moved so much I turned the blanket 90 degrees. Huh. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-short-sheet-a-bed/333587/32 "2005-12-05T20:08:52Z")
> [@FlyingRamenMonster](#): > > Whereas I prefer it because you can wrap the blanket around you any way you want. It’s _snuggly_. Tucked sheets mean you sleep propping up a tent. Blagh. And yeah, you _can_ pull them out, but then what’s the point of tucking in at all? > > Besides, I move around _plenty_ while I sleep and I’ve never woken up to find my feet sticking out, except for that one time I moved so much I turned the blanket 90 degrees. Huh. Doing what you describe here would lead to me being mummified and possible strangled by the sheets as I rolled around in my sleep. The tucked sheets mean that they stay put while I turn over, as opposed to them staying with me when I turn over. Crazy people, I tell ya. ---
**Author:** ![JeffB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeffb/32/188_2.png) [@JeffB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffB)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-short-sheet-a-bed/333587/33 "2005-12-05T20:42:55Z")
I’m on **Omniscient** ’s side as far tucking in the top sheet; otherwise, you never know where it might end up. Blankets, on the other hand, don’t need to be tucked in. A top sheet has two advantages: 1) it’s easier to clean than a duvet/blanket, and 2) more layers = better insulation. ---
**Author:** ![slaphead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@slaphead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slaphead)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-short-sheet-a-bed/333587/34 "2005-12-05T20:52:10Z")
> [@JeffB](#): > > I’m on **Omniscient** ’s side as far tucking in the top sheet; otherwise, you never know where it might end up. Blankets, on the other hand, don’t need to be tucked in. > > A top sheet has two advantages: 1) it’s easier to clean than a duvet/blanket, and 2) more layers = better insulation. Better insulation? Wha? How many blankets/sheets do you stack up in order to equal the insulation of the giant wodge of goosedown I have on my bed? How do you avoid being crushed by the weight? Anyhow, it seems we have now found another SMDB fault-line to rival the Blue v Red split and the Pro v Anti Gun control factionalism. The ‘blanketers’ are riven by a schism on the doctrinal issue of ‘tucking’! Well and good, it all plays into the hands of us duveteers… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![liirogue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dbc845/32.png) [@liirogue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/liirogue)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-short-sheet-a-bed/333587/35 "2005-12-05T21:45:31Z")
You all are missing the integral issue for those of us with sleeping partners - one of those partners tends to be a cover hog. So if the sheets aren’t anchored to the bottom of the bed, myself and other poor, unfortunate souls wake up in the middle of the night freezing, clutching only a corner of a sheet or blanket. ---
**Author:** ![JeffB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeffb/32/188_2.png) [@JeffB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffB)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-short-sheet-a-bed/333587/36 "2005-12-05T21:59:13Z")
> [@slaphead](#): > > Better insulation? Wha? How many blankets/sheets do you stack up in order to equal the insulation of the giant wodge of goosedown I have on my bed? How do you avoid being crushed by the weight? > Anyhow, it seems we have now found another SMDB fault-line to rival the Blue v Red split and the Pro v Anti Gun control factionalism. The ‘blanketers’ are riven by a schism on the doctrinal issue of ‘tucking’! Well and good, it all plays into the hands of us duveteers… 😛 Well, us “blanketers” (though I think “sheeters” might be a more appropriate term) are more flexible than you “duveteers” in a couple ways. First, you are either covered or uncovered, whereas we can choose how much covering we want. Second, use of a duvet (in place of a blanket) is perfectly acceptable to our way of life. We even accept the “quilters” among our kind. It’s just the dirty, heathen “no-sheeters” that we can’t abide. ---
**Author:** ![slaphead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@slaphead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slaphead)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-short-sheet-a-bed/333587/37 "2005-12-06T09:18:23Z")
> [@liirogue](#): > > You all are missing the integral issue for those of us with sleeping partners - one of those partners tends to be a cover hog. So if the sheets aren’t anchored to the bottom of the bed, myself and other poor, unfortunate souls wake up in the middle of the night freezing, clutching only a corner of a sheet or blanket. Well, that’s a vexing issue, certainly. I found it can be mitigated by the choice of a small sleeping partner and a king-size duvet. There is then normally plenty of covering to go round, with the added bonus that if somehow the partner does manage to steal too much of the covering to wrap themselves in, a vigorous tug will launch them into the air rotating rapidly. This is always good for a chuckle. > [@JeffB](#): > > We even accept the “quilters” among our kind. It’s just the dirty, heathen “no-sheeters” that we can’t abide. Bah! Sheeters, the party of hate and intolerance, indeed. Never was onomatopoeia so appropriate… 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-short-sheet-a-bed/333587.md?page=1)