# How do you stop a telepath? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 27, 2001, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-stop-a-telepath/59669 "2001-03-27T11:18:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2001, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-stop-a-telepath/59669/21 "2001-03-28T01:29:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by handy \* > \*\*“And since all telepathy is fiction, the author can invent whatever rules s/he wants to.” > > Oh, so you don’t believe in telepathy? Okay, but with those who do they think of it as two way, not one way & one can choose whether or not someone can read their mind. After all, its a free choice.\*\* Not when we’re playing by SPOOFE’s rules it’s not. Speaking of which, where is he to clear up this whole pesky range thing? ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2001, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-stop-a-telepath/59669/22 "2001-03-28T01:39:07Z")
Relax. We’ll stop him first. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2001, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-stop-a-telepath/59669/23 "2001-03-28T02:27:08Z")
Most comic-book, movie, or novel stories general give the impression that a telepath’s talents and precision increase with practice. In theory… a telepath could develop his skills so that he’s constantly monitoring the thoughts of every man, woman, and child on the planet. He’s just gotta have an efficient filing system in his brain. On another vein, it’d be an interesting notion for our friend the Crazy Mindreader to put a bit of subconscious “coding” in everyone’s head to not want to turn against our telepathic master… (Can anyone guess that telepathy is a subject of fiction that I find amusing?) ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2001, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-stop-a-telepath/59669/24 "2001-03-28T03:24:01Z")
> [@](#): > > On another vein, it’d be an interesting notion for our friend the Crazy Mindreader to put a bit of subconscious “coding” in everyone’s head to not want to turn against our telepathic master… Ever read Larry Niven’s World of Ptavvs? You should. He anticipated you. 🙂 And it’s a great book. (Although I think it’s out of print. Any good used bookstore should have a copy, or if not [http://www.bookfinder.com](http://www.bookfinder.com) will) Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2001, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-stop-a-telepath/59669/25 "2001-03-28T07:06:23Z")
Well, SPOOFE, what’s the effective distance of _your_ telepath? If it’s too short, one of those neato keen sniper rifles w/ a mile+ range should do the job nicely. Otherwise, if he’s monitoring the thoughts of _everybody_ it depends on how great his attention span is, as in “will he pay attention to what I’m thinking if there’s something more interesting going on.” If he can’t, I’ll just have my hottest female friends fantasize and masturbate furiously around me as I take aim. This may postpone the assassination by a good fifteen minutes or so, but who’s complaining? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![soulmurk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b782af/32.png) [@soulmurk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulmurk)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2001, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-stop-a-telepath/59669/26 "2001-03-28T07:36:50Z")
As a DM in many psionic AD&D campaigns, i usually rely on an adult intellect devourer or two to reign those pesky telepaths in. If we are going to ponder over this situation without the assistance of creatures of fantasy, or other telepaths, and can’t resort to items like Juggernaut’s helmet, then I’d have to suggest shooting him in the head with a powerful long range rifle while he slept. Just to be safe, we’ll use a hollow point bullet. And why not coat it with a fast acting poison. Oh, and make it silver, just in case. Oh oh, and the silver can come from melting down a crucifix. You never know. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2001, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-stop-a-telepath/59669/27 "2001-03-28T17:08:03Z")
“In theory… a telepath could develop his skills so that he’s constantly monitoring the thoughts of every man, woman, and child on the planet. He’s just gotta have an efficient filing system in his brain.” Oh? Let’s say that the human body is about 4 watts. There are around 6 billion people on the planet. If you connected to them all at once, you’d be taking in 24 billion watts. How long do you think one could stand something like that? ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2001, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-stop-a-telepath/59669/28 "2001-03-28T17:10:14Z")
Nice observations, everybody. **Reality Chuck** : you’re welcome. From all of us. You know what for! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![JuanDeCuba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a87d85/32.png) [@JuanDeCuba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JuanDeCuba)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2001, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-stop-a-telepath/59669/29 "2001-03-28T21:44:54Z")
Everyone pick an NSYNC song and get it stuck in your head. He’ll either give up reading minds or go insane. I know I would. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2001, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-stop-a-telepath/59669/30 "2001-03-28T23:25:10Z")
> [@](#): > > Let’s say that the human body is about 4 watts. There are around 6 billion people on the planet. If you connected to them all at once, you’d be taking in 24 billion watts. > > How long do you think one could stand something like that? Telepathy has nothing to do with connecting BODIES, **handy** , just the minds!! Just to clarify, I’m coming at this with the assumption of the “mind/body dualism” aspect of philosophy coming into play… that the mind is a separate entity from the body. ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2001, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-stop-a-telepath/59669/31 "2001-03-29T04:53:24Z")
I’d hit him in the head with a rock. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2001, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-stop-a-telepath/59669/32 "2001-03-29T06:02:31Z")
I’m curious as to why any of you think a telepath has the advantage in a one-on-one situation. Think about what is going on in his mind while you are attacking him or her. 1. All of his thoughts. 2. All of your thoughts. 3. The thoughts of anyone within range. What’s going on in _your_ mind? 1. I’m gonna kill that s.o.b.! While we’re at it, let’s talk about what a telepath would “hear”. Do any of you think in clear and concise linear sequences? I know I don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Calredic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@Calredic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Calredic)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2001, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-stop-a-telepath/59669/33 "2001-03-29T06:16:57Z")
You just have to plug the controller into the second-player slot… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2001, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-stop-a-telepath/59669/34 "2001-03-29T06:22:23Z")
I never plug my controller into the “second slot” on the first date. Well, almost never. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2001, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-stop-a-telepath/59669/35 "2001-03-29T06:40:14Z")
Well, he still has to sleep, right? Why does he want to take over the world, anyway?.. That gives me an idea. If everyone thinks thoughts along the lines of “there’s no reason to take over the world”, maybe he’d decide to give up… ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2001, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-stop-a-telepath/59669/36 "2001-03-29T06:45:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by handy \* > \*\* > Let’s say that the human body is about 4 watts. > \*\* Um, what? The human body is about 4 watts? What the heck is _that_ supposed to mean? Why watts? Why a measure of power at all? Why 4? I know; let’s make it 28.2 ergs! No, wait, 22 kilopascals! Oh, hold it, I’ve got it; 8.4 femtofarads! What exactly does it mean to say that the human body is 4 watts? Do you mean that they radiate 4 joules per second? Is that from body heat, or is there something else involved here? Are you saying that if we screwed a 4-watt lightbulb (mighty dim, I know) into a person, they could light it? What? Sorry for the hijack, **SPOOFE** , but I was provoked. Anyhoo… I agree with **Mnementh** , only I was going to say “cut off his head”. First thing that occurred to me upon reading the subject of this thread. But seriously (?), I’d probably have to go with the _Demolished Man_ approach (that was a killer book, by the way, **Rue DeDay** , you heretic, you). ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2001, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-stop-a-telepath/59669/37 "2001-03-29T08:50:46Z")
Czarcasm… > [@](#): > > I’m curious as to why any of you think a telepath has the advantage in a one-on-one situation. We’re assuming he’s also got the ability to “turn off” his ability… although uncontrollable telepathic powers are an interesting notion, too. Lindy… > [@](#): > > Are you saying that if we screwed a 4-watt lightbulb (mighty dim, I know) into a person, they could light it? I’m just wondering WHERE they’d screw that lightbulb… Hey, I just got a good idea for a lamp design! ---
**Author:** ![DippityDoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@DippityDoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DippityDoo)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2001, 8:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-stop-a-telepath/59669/38 "2001-03-29T08:58:32Z")
Send a buddhist monk that practices yoga 24/7 after’em. Them’s the guys that can not think about stuff and just sit and not think right? Ya tell’em what to do and then not ta thinks about it and whammo ya gots yerself one dead telepath. ---
**Author:** ![Tansu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@Tansu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tansu)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2001, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-stop-a-telepath/59669/39 "2001-03-29T11:10:29Z")
That would make a rather good (or bad, but definitely the good sort of bad) film. It’s got everything a movie needs: sci-fi, kung fu, and some more sci-fi and some more kung fu. If you brought in the idea of fighting telepathy with annoying eighties pop lyrics, you could even have George Michael and Andrew Ridgely saving the world with the help of the monks from the Shaolin Temple. It’s a winner. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2001, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-stop-a-telepath/59669/40 "2001-03-29T13:24:19Z")
What’s the monk gonna do, Dippitydoo? _Bore_ him to death? Or maybe sit on his face in a yoga position until he suffocates? SPOOFE, most of the actions people take when fighting are done instinctively. You don’t think to yourself. “He’s moving left-perhaps I should slide to the left and hit him in the stomach!”, you just react almost instantly to his movements. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-stop-a-telepath/59669.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-stop-a-telepath/59669.md?page=3)