# How do you tell a coworker they are too fat to ride? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 24, 2016, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-tell-a-coworker-they-are-too-fat-to-ride/755507 "2016-05-24T00:51:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-tell-a-coworker-they-are-too-fat-to-ride/755507/21 "2016-05-24T04:36:06Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Get a motorcycle. How the heck would a person that fat fit on the back of a motorcycle? ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-tell-a-coworker-they-are-too-fat-to-ride/755507/22 "2016-05-24T04:42:29Z")
My husband at his biggest didn’t harm any seats in a vehicle that he drove every single day, so I’m doubting the validity of the OP. A commute to work and back should easily hold the grossest offender with ease. Duh. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-tell-a-coworker-they-are-too-fat-to-ride/755507/23 "2016-05-24T04:55:00Z")
> [@T-Minus](#): > > Ok, let’s say you had a coworker you have been carpooling with for a while; their weight is starting to ruin your seats. How do you tell them they are too fat to ride in your car? > [@T-Minus](#): > > I would never ever tell someone they were too large for the car. I don’t think my friend would either. Umm, if you’d never tell someone they were too fat for your car, I’m having a hard time understanding why you would go to all the trouble of joining this messageboard and starting a thread seeking advice on the best way to tell someone they are too fat for your car. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Strangelove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.strangelove/32/6613_2.png) [@Dr.Strangelove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Strangelove)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-tell-a-coworker-they-are-too-fat-to-ride/755507/24 "2016-05-24T04:56:18Z")
I find that fat people sometimes interfere with my gear-shift lever. However, they’re fairly squishy and so I just have to use a bit more force to get it into 6th. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-tell-a-coworker-they-are-too-fat-to-ride/755507/25 "2016-05-24T05:10:40Z")
> [@Dr.Strangelove](#): > > I find that fat people sometimes interfere with my gear-shift lever. However, they’re fairly squishy and so I just have to use a bit more force to get it into 6th. When you do get it into 6th does it make a “Wooosh” sound? IF you’re being serious what car are you driving with such a narrow console? ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Strangelove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.strangelove/32/6613_2.png) [@Dr.Strangelove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Strangelove)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-tell-a-coworker-they-are-too-fat-to-ride/755507/26 "2016-05-24T05:34:23Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > IF you’re being serious what car are you driving with such a narrow console? BMW 3-series. The console \*is \*pretty narrow. I’m only half-serious, though; usually it’s only my elbow that I have to squish into the passenger. I’ve never driven a 300+ pounder, though. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-tell-a-coworker-they-are-too-fat-to-ride/755507/27 "2016-05-24T05:41:08Z")
My passenger is so fat (cue Ed McMahon) that I can’t engage the emergency brake until they get out of the car seat. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-tell-a-coworker-they-are-too-fat-to-ride/755507/28 "2016-05-24T10:59:21Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > My passenger is so fat (cue Ed McMahon) that I can’t engage the emergency brake until they get out of the car seat. Well, in the event of an actual emergency, try to skid so that your passenger takes most of the impact. They sound like they can handle it and the car’s center of gravity will already be shifted in their direction. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-tell-a-coworker-they-are-too-fat-to-ride/755507/29 "2016-05-24T11:50:19Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > This is actually a thing?? Fat people ruin car seats? Really? This was my initial response, too. On the other hand, we had a couple over to dinner the other night, and his chair made an unhappy sound, and i fetched a sturdier chair for him. But while doing so, i told him that the reason i was sitting in a different chair than the others was that i had broken two of the chairs like the one he was in. (My husband weighs more than i do, but i think my leaning back was the issue. And Mr. Guest said he tended to lean.) But that was an immediate danger, and from personal experience, having the chair break under me was unpleasant. I wouldn’t ask a guest to move because i was worried about wear and tear. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-tell-a-coworker-they-are-too-fat-to-ride/755507/30 "2016-05-24T13:08:40Z")
You should be worried about your brakes as well. My morbidly obese cousin and her husband were descending Haleaka on Maui, when their car’s brakes failed. The rental company’s agent hinted that her weight was a deciding factor. Your solution may be to get a car with adequate seats. What do you drive, a Yugo? ---
**Author:** ![Me\_Billy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e480ec/32.png) [@Me\_Billy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Me_Billy)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-tell-a-coworker-they-are-too-fat-to-ride/755507/31 "2016-05-24T13:29:11Z")
A diplomatic solution would be to take a class after work (or do some other activity). Then inform your coworker that you will not be able to carpool any more due to taking the class. Note some people are overweight due to depression. So telling the person they can’t ride due to being fat probably would not help matters much. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-tell-a-coworker-they-are-too-fat-to-ride/755507/32 "2016-05-24T13:49:19Z")
Yes, small cars can be ruined by overlay large people. I don’t know about the suspension or anything but the seat itself can certainly be quite squished and malformed. They have to be pretty huge, though. An SUV will probably be OK. A little BMW is well made, but if you have a little Dodge Dart or a Chevy Sonic I can definitely see some changes. But, I also wouldn’t tell them they were too fat. I would make any other excuse I could. Of course I hate carpooling so I would do anything not to carpool in the first place. I am all for self-driving cars, but I will miss my Zen time. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![T-Minus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c77e96/32.png) [@T-Minus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/T-Minus)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-tell-a-coworker-they-are-too-fat-to-ride/755507/33 "2016-05-24T14:38:11Z")
Apparently, the guy weighs 400 pounds and the padding on the seat is getting warped. This is like after 7 years of car pooling though. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-tell-a-coworker-they-are-too-fat-to-ride/755507/34 "2016-05-24T14:49:46Z")
Admittedly, after 7 years the car itself is getting on in years. And this is coming from someone who usually keeps cars 10-12 years. But, carpooling for 7 years? Are they good friends? I mean, what does your friend think will come of telling them they are too fat? They may lose the friendship, or even make an enemy, and if I had to work with the person, I don’t really want to have those bad feelings between us. ( God, carpooling with the same person for seven years sounds awful. I love my SO and I’m just crazy about him but the one time we really fought a lot was when we had to carpool for a few months. ) ---
**Author:** ![MikeG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikeg/32/4329_2.png) [@MikeG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeG)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-tell-a-coworker-they-are-too-fat-to-ride/755507/35 "2016-05-24T15:00:06Z")
I’ve got an e36 convertible and I call bs. I’m 300 and 6’3" and I have loads of rooms. An e46 has even more room- ive been in the back of my friends’ e46 for hours at a time with no issue. That doesn’t even address wearing out the seats. Bmw seats are superbly built, there’s no way your friend (for now at least) is “ruining” them. Just get a “No Fat Chicks” sticker and maybe a shocker one while you are at it. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-tell-a-coworker-they-are-too-fat-to-ride/755507/36 "2016-05-24T15:02:19Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > ( God, carpooling with the same person for seven years sounds awful. I love my SO and I’m just crazy about him but the one time we really fought a lot was when we had to carpool for a few months. ) I remove the backseat of my two door Jeep Wrangler and put it in storage so the back is comfortable for our dogs, then modify the front passenger seat so the bird’s travel cage sits nicely. I’m “happy” to offer someone a ride, with the understanding they’ll be uncomfortable and covered with dog hair. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-tell-a-coworker-they-are-too-fat-to-ride/755507/37 "2016-05-24T16:49:54Z")
You could rent a U-Haul and hook it up to the back of your car. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-tell-a-coworker-they-are-too-fat-to-ride/755507/38 "2016-05-24T18:50:16Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > My passenger is so fat (cue Ed McMahon) that I can’t engage the emergency brake until they get out of the car seat. Well, they shouldn’t be in a car seat after age 8 or so anyway. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-tell-a-coworker-they-are-too-fat-to-ride/755507/39 "2016-05-24T19:24:31Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > How the heck would a person that fat fit on the back of a motorcycle? 🙂 Let alone two! [![](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/c2/9d/06/c29d06eadc6e74520e7a6d7ad315e51a.jpg) ](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/c2/9d/06/c29d06eadc6e74520e7a6d7ad315e51a.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-tell-a-coworker-they-are-too-fat-to-ride/755507/40 "2016-05-24T19:30:03Z")
> [@Me\_Billy](#): > > Note some people are overweight due to depression. So telling the person they can’t ride due to being fat probably would not help matters much. Not if you bring it up in a spirit of concern for their wellbeing. “You seem really fat and I’ve noticed that my car seats are depressed lately. Have you lost interest in things that used to give you pleasure?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-tell-a-coworker-they-are-too-fat-to-ride/755507.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-tell-a-coworker-they-are-too-fat-to-ride/755507.md?page=3)