# How do you want to be executed? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 24, 2003, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-want-to-be-executed/177279 "2003-05-24T20:38:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-want-to-be-executed/177279/21 "2003-05-25T10:23:42Z")
BTW, [here’s](http://www.amnestyusa.org/abolish/methww.html) a list (from Amnesty International, admittedly) listing the methods of execution used worldwide…make sure to check out Sudan. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-want-to-be-executed/177279/22 "2003-05-25T11:27:27Z")
I’ve given this some more thought. I’d like to be taken to a carnival, given a nitroglycerin high colonic, then put on the Tilt-A-Whirl. So long as it’s done in a dignified manner. ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-want-to-be-executed/177279/23 "2003-05-25T11:35:02Z")
No, wait, I can’t get past that whole high colonic thing (yuck). OK, I want to be beaten to death by the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders, but I want them to use toaster ovens to do the job. Wait, not toaster ovens…defrosted Butterball turkeys. Yeah, that’s it. And I want that Benny Hill music playing in the background, the stuff they played when he was getting chased around by all the people he had just pissed off. ---
**Author:** ![krisolov](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/krisolov/32/3724_2.png) [@krisolov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/krisolov)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-want-to-be-executed/177279/24 "2003-05-25T14:08:08Z")
strapped to a chair with about 1000 lbs of TNT detonated around it! ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-want-to-be-executed/177279/25 "2003-05-25T14:26:36Z")
I’ll take Lethal Injection, but only if they substitute an overdose of some powerful opiate for the usual stuff. ---
**Author:** ![LowerLip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/839c29/32.png) [@LowerLip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LowerLip)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-want-to-be-executed/177279/26 "2003-05-25T14:36:03Z")
How about a pressure chamber. 4-5 atmospheres and then sudden decompression. Implode! ---
**Author:** ![cankerist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bc79bd/32.png) [@cankerist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cankerist)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-want-to-be-executed/177279/27 "2003-05-25T14:44:11Z")
**RealityChuck** We park our cars in the same garage my friend. A garage packed full of topless babes on rollerskates, that is! ---
**Author:** ![Second\_Guest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/87869e/32.png) [@Second\_Guest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Second_Guest)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-want-to-be-executed/177279/28 "2003-05-25T14:53:48Z")
Definitely the firing squad, mainly because I’d want to be standing up for my execution. I would have one question, though: What exactly did I _do_ to warrant this? I mean, if it’s about that mattress label… ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-want-to-be-executed/177279/29 "2003-05-25T15:04:57Z")
I’ll go with jumping out of an airplane without a parachute. A long exciting fall with a fantastic view, followed by a very brief _splut_. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-want-to-be-executed/177279/30 "2003-05-25T16:09:20Z")
Riding a bomb Major Kong style into Carrot Top. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-want-to-be-executed/177279/31 "2003-05-25T16:37:19Z")
Hell, I’d be happy to give my life to rid the world of the true Red Menace. ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-want-to-be-executed/177279/32 "2003-05-25T18:24:37Z")
Bullet to the head. Quick and painless. By that point I will not give a shit about the mess. ---
**Author:** ![Lodrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@Lodrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lodrain)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-want-to-be-executed/177279/33 "2003-05-25T18:27:14Z")
I would like to be tickle-tortured to death. I came into this world screaming hysterically and squirming; why not go out the same way? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-want-to-be-executed/177279/34 "2003-05-25T22:08:25Z")
single drop of nicotine on the tongue. ---
**Author:** ![Rabid\_Squirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Rabid\_Squirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rabid_Squirrel)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2003, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-want-to-be-executed/177279/35 "2003-05-25T22:43:18Z")
Sitting on top of a nuclear bomb. Bruce Willis had it right in Armageddon. ---
**Author:** ![Gotterfunken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/58956e/32.png) [@Gotterfunken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gotterfunken)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-want-to-be-executed/177279/36 "2003-05-26T03:51:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Second Guest \* > \*\*Definitely the firing squad, mainly because I’d want to be standing up for my execution. I would have one question, though: What exactly did I _do_ to warrant this? I mean, if it’s about that mattress label… \*\* As I noted in the capital punishment thread linked in the OP, the manner in which the firing squad choice works–at least in Utah–is you **sit in a chair** with a hood over your head while the shooters fire at you from a separate room through holes in the wall. I would choose the firing squad, but not like that, thank you very much. I’d have to be standing up (blindfold is OK, but not a stuffy hood). And i’ll take that last cigarette–it’s not like smoking is going to kill me _now_. 😛 And if you’re wondering why we’re all getting the death penalty, read Kafka’s _The Trial_. We’re all living under a death sentence–such is life. ---
**Author:** ![mtdman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/65b543/32.png) [@mtdman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mtdman)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-want-to-be-executed/177279/37 "2003-05-26T04:23:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*I’m an old-fashioned kind of a girl: I want the whole guillotine act, complete with a tumbril ride to the scaffold, so I can climb the 13 steps and make a speech to the crowd. Then right before the blade falls, I’m going to make a funny face, so I can get a good laugh when the executioner shows my head to the crowd. \*\* Come over to my house at Halloween. I’ve got the whole set up. [http://www.tomshalloween.com/projects/pics/guillotine02.jpg](http://www.tomshalloween.com/projects/pics/guillotine02.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-want-to-be-executed/177279/38 "2003-05-26T06:39:13Z")
Firing squad. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-want-to-be-executed/177279/39 "2003-05-26T07:23:22Z")
See, I always thought Firing Squad. But then I think I’d like to be guillotined, with the premise of giving feedback after my disembodiment. Just think, how metaphoric, messing with the very system that just killed your sorry ass. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2003, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-want-to-be-executed/177279/40 "2003-05-26T16:10:01Z")
Firing squad. As long as it’s the movie type firing squad complete with the whole “Blindfold? Cigarette?” thing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-want-to-be-executed/177279.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-want-to-be-executed/177279.md?page=3)