# How do you wipe? \[poll\] **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 1, 2014, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-poll/692138 "2014-07-01T21:37:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Grey\_area](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Grey\_area](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grey_area)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2014, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-poll/692138/1 "2014-07-01T21:37:12Z")
Back to front = from anus in the direction of genitals Front to back = from anus in the direction of back Sitting = Sitting on toilet ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mask\_behind\_the\_Mask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ebca7d/32.png) [@The\_Mask\_behind\_the\_Mask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mask_behind_the_Mask)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2014, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-poll/692138/2 "2014-07-01T21:49:09Z")
I think I remember reading a similar thread before I joined. Clearly, this is the height of classy discussion at IMHO. At any rate, I go front-to-back while sitting. I’d wonder about those who wipe the other way, but the truth is, if you use baby wipes (as we all should!), it doesn’t matter much. Your butt will be sparkling 😃 ---
**Author:** ![standingwave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@standingwave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/standingwave)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2014, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-poll/692138/3 "2014-07-01T21:55:16Z")
> [@Grey\_area](#): > > Back to front = from anus in the direction of genitals > Front to back = from anus in the direction of back > Sitting = Sitting on toilet Standing? 😕 Can’t tell if serious. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2014, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-poll/692138/4 "2014-07-01T21:57:26Z")
> [@standingwave](#): > > Standing? 😕 Can’t tell if serious. Yes. Some of us stand. That’s the only way I’ve ever done it. I was surprised to find out that sitting is more typical. I’m not even entirely sure how one does it while sitting. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2014, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-poll/692138/5 "2014-07-01T21:59:02Z")
And you made this a public poll because…? Seriously, WTF. I’m sure as hell not going to be one of your data points. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2014, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-poll/692138/6 "2014-07-01T22:04:33Z")
TMI, but, the first wipe is back to front, to clear away the most obvious material. Subsequent swipes are front to back. And I’m a folder, not a wadder. And I use three squares of tissue per wipe. And the roll feeds over the top of the roll, not from underneath. And I’ve never used a bidet, but am willing to give it a shot some day. And I have to scrub the toilet bowl after every poopage. And… Hey, wait, there’s more! Lots more! Where’s everybody going? ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2014, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-poll/692138/7 "2014-07-01T22:08:16Z")
Front to back and back to front make little sense to me: how does your asshole have a “front” or “back”?? It’s all on the same side! Bottom to top/top to bottom would be more understandable… ---
**Author:** ![standingwave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@standingwave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/standingwave)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2014, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-poll/692138/8 "2014-07-01T22:09:22Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > And I’m a folder, not a wadder. And I use three squares of tissue per wipe. Three squares? 😕 Can’t tell if serious. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2014, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-poll/692138/9 "2014-07-01T22:14:11Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > And you made this a public poll because…? > > Seriously, WTF. I’m sure as hell not going to be one of your data points. I can see it now… This thread will cost someone a job/home loan/marriage/something down the road. Fucking internet! ---
**Author:** ![RobDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f07891/32.png) [@RobDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobDog)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2014, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-poll/692138/10 "2014-07-01T22:16:20Z")
Am I to understand from this that you people are cleaning your _own_ posteriors? I must tell Simpkins, he will be most amused. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2014, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-poll/692138/11 "2014-07-01T22:21:05Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > I can see it now… This thread will cost someone a job/home loan/marriage/something down the road. > > Fucking internet! Heh. OK, not earth-shattering. But I’m just sort of gobsmacked over why the OP made the conscious choice to choose the “this is a public poll” option when posting a poll about how people wipe piss and shit off of their bums. Is all. ---
**Author:** ![RobDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f07891/32.png) [@RobDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobDog)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2014, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-poll/692138/12 "2014-07-01T22:24:49Z")
Is this that shitthreading I keep hearing so much about? ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2014, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-poll/692138/13 "2014-07-01T22:38:36Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Yes. Some of us stand. That’s the only way I’ve ever done it. I was surprised to find out that sitting is more typical. I’m not even entirely sure how one does it while sitting. Can we get a clarification of what “standing” means in this context? Are we talking standing all the way up with knees unbent? Or lifted off the seat but knees still quite bent? Or something else? ---
**Author:** ![Grey\_area](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Grey\_area](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grey_area)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2014, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-poll/692138/14 "2014-07-01T23:02:21Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > And you made this a public poll because…? > > Seriously, WTF. I’m sure as hell not going to be one of your data points. Dang it I thought I made it private. :smack: **Mods** can you please make the poll private? ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2014, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-poll/692138/15 "2014-07-01T23:06:58Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > And I’m a folder, not a wadder. And I use three squares of tissue per wipe. Can you spare a square? ---
**Author:** ![Grey\_area](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Grey\_area](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grey_area)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2014, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-poll/692138/16 "2014-07-01T23:08:48Z")
> [@Max\_the\_Immortal](#): > > Can we get a clarification of what “standing” means in this context? Are we talking standing all the way up with knees unbent? Or lifted off the seat but knees still quite bent? Or something else? For the purposes of this poll - standing = Buttocks are over an inch above the toilet seat. “Hovering” over the toilet with your buttocks less than an inch away from the seat counts as sitting. FYI - The inch standard was arbitrarily decided my me, before anyone asks. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2014, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-poll/692138/17 "2014-07-01T23:16:06Z")
> [@Max\_the\_Immortal](#): > > Can we get a clarification of what “standing” means in this context? Are we talking standing all the way up with knees unbent? Or lifted off the seat but knees still quite bent? Or something else? Well, as for me, I properly stand. Bent over a bit, yes, but standing, not just a couple inches off the seat. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2014, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-poll/692138/18 "2014-07-01T23:20:08Z")
Where’s the option for “Front to back, back to front, and sideways, using as a starting point the hemorrhoids”? ---
**Author:** ![actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/actualliberalnotoneofthose)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2014, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-poll/692138/19 "2014-07-01T23:23:58Z")
I would think that standing would make things messier. Then again, I have developed a back to front wipe, but I don’t think it makes the most sense. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2014, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-poll/692138/20 "2014-07-01T23:41:38Z")
It’s worth noting that in front to back, women actually start rather further forward than the anus. Which is why women are taught to wipe front to back, lest we get infections in various places. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-poll/692138.md?page=2)