# How do YOU wipe your bum? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 13, 2019, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-your-bum/831088 "2019-03-13T18:46:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Uzi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/91b2a8/32.png) [@Uzi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uzi)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2019, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-your-bum/831088/41 "2019-03-15T06:06:07Z")
> [@kopek](#): > > I replace mine about every 10-12 years and more to peeling around the front of the seat (where my nuts and penis rub sitting down and getting up) than because of any torque action. I’m always amazed at what people rub their junk on. If I have to use a public restroom, I take a few paper towels and run them quickly under a tap to moisten. Great to clean up with after wiping with TP (away from taint). I raise the seat and squat over the toilet. Why would you sit on a public toilet that someone just massaged with their nuts? \ ---
**Author:** ![wguy123](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wguy123/32/3161_2.png) [@wguy123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wguy123)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2019, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-your-bum/831088/42 "2019-03-15T14:37:27Z")
> [@Uzi](#): > > I’m always amazed at what people rub their junk on. > > If I have to use a public restroom, I take a few paper towels and run them quickly under a tap to moisten. Great to clean up with after wiping with TP (away from taint). I raise the seat and squat over the toilet. Why would you sit on a public toilet that someone just massaged with their nuts? \ Yeah, I didn’t quite understand why genitals would be rubbing the toilet seat. I’ve some how made it through life without this occurring. Now I’m even more afraid of public restrooms :eek: ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2019, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-your-bum/831088/43 "2019-03-15T14:57:24Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Or, you know, a rabbit. Look, that rabbit’s got a vicious streak a mile wide! It’s a killer! ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2019, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-your-bum/831088/44 "2019-03-15T17:35:49Z")
> [@Bayaker](#): > > And don’t get her started on Balzac! I wipe that too, when necessary. ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2019, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-your-bum/831088/45 "2019-03-15T21:49:17Z")
> [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](#): > > Don’t need to. I have a nice bidet seat. It’s more sanitary and clean-feeling, IMO. I’d love to have one of those. It would be nice during _that time of month_, too. When I put in my master bath, I’m getting one of those… ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2019, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-your-bum/831088/46 "2019-03-16T00:05:39Z")
Left hand and a bowl of water, desert style. ---
**Author:** ![bizzwire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/958977/32.png) [@bizzwire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bizzwire)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2019, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-your-bum/831088/47 "2019-03-19T12:44:09Z")
I just installed a Genie Bidet seat ([geniebidet.com](http://geniebidet.com)), and only use TP to dry. The unit cost me 108 bucks, and was easy to install: no electrical hook-ups necessary. It’s like a Water-Pik. FOR YOUR BUTT. I was out of town for a week, and missed it more than my wife. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2019, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-your-bum/831088/48 "2019-03-19T13:11:27Z")
If it’s not electric, isn’t it cold water? ---
**Author:** ![bizzwire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/958977/32.png) [@bizzwire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bizzwire)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2019, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-your-bum/831088/49 "2019-03-19T14:21:25Z")
> [@Rebo](#): > > If it’s not electric, isn’t it cold water? Yes, and no. The water ties into the tank supply, which is basically at room temperature. Even if you tied into your hot water line, it would still take time for the warm water to get from the heater to your bum (think of how long it takes for warm water to come out of the tap). The more expensive units use in-line electric heaters to supply warm water, but that means you have to have it plugged/wired into your house wiring. I don’t know about you, but the idea if having 120 Volts, water, plumbing, and my bum in proximity to each other scares me. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2019, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-your-bum/831088/50 "2019-03-19T17:50:18Z")
> [@Stuntman\_Mike](#): > > In a perfect world, we’d be able to shower after every dump. > > Someday. Someday… It’s called a bidet attachment, and it’s God’s gift to people who poop. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2019, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-your-bum/831088/51 "2019-03-19T18:05:30Z")
Oh, _those_ people. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-you-wipe-your-bum/831088.md?page=2)