# how does a 57 year old single man make friends? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 19, 2020, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-a-57-year-old-single-man-make-friends/846680 "2020-01-19T23:11:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mike\_Mabes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mike_mabes/32/1782_2.png) [@Mike\_Mabes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mike_Mabes)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2020, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-a-57-year-old-single-man-make-friends/846680/1 "2020-01-19T23:11:11Z")
Used to have a number of friends when I lived in NYC with my wife, now deceased, from 1995 to 2009. She had a terminal disease so we moved to Rhode Island in 2009, where she was born and had family. Made some friends there. I moved back to this area a couple of years ago, I’m just over the river from NYC. But my friends from NYC are now just Facebook friends, they have moved away from this area. And I can’t make friends through family, they are in Virginia. I have tried Meet Up groups, but the ones I am interested in all meet during the week, and I work 1-9pm. I did find one group that meets on Saturdays, Whiskey and Books, right up my alley, and went to one meeting. The group then decided to read Proust. But not only Proust, but to read all the writers who influenced him. This has been going on for over a year. Maybe I should just go to the meetings and pretend to be interesed in Proust. Hell, maybe if I read him I would be interested. I’ve read Hugo and Dickens. I tried looking up my local library. And yes it has meetings. Always during the weekday. 9-5 As far as meeting women, I have tried Tinder and OK Cupid, I now have a membership to the latter, after cancelling Tinder. Has anyone here ever met a woman from either of those sites? So far I haven’t. ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2020, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-a-57-year-old-single-man-make-friends/846680/2 "2020-01-19T23:16:51Z")
What are you interested in? Join relevant organizations. Take adult education classes. Talk to coworkers and invite them to something after work. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2020, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-a-57-year-old-single-man-make-friends/846680/3 "2020-01-19T23:24:25Z")
Get a puppy. Walk him in the park. Go to a dogpark on weekends. I’ll be your Doper friend (:)) ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2020, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-a-57-year-old-single-man-make-friends/846680/4 "2020-01-19T23:26:47Z")
joining this thread because I am 58 and needing new friends. I’ve relocated too much and my friends are all in other places. I’ll be your West Coast Doper Friend. 🙂 I have met people through my town’s facebook group and through events posted there. events at the local library, museum, and live music performances. people are friendly, here, too. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2020, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-a-57-year-old-single-man-make-friends/846680/5 "2020-01-19T23:43:28Z")
Set up your own meetup group that matches your hours? Call it the Swing Shift X Group. Since you have the initial control on what X is, if it works, it will be perfect for you. ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-a-57-year-old-single-man-make-friends/846680/6 "2020-01-20T00:01:12Z")
> [@](#): > > Whiskey and Books, right up my alley, and went to one meeting. The group then decided to read Proust. But not only Proust, but to read all the writers who influenced him. This has been going on for over a year. Maybe I should just go to the meetings and pretend to be interesed in Proust. Hell, maybe if I read him I would be interested. I’ve read Hugo and Dickens. try some Proust, I see no downside. ---
**Author:** ![Mike\_Mabes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mike_mabes/32/1782_2.png) [@Mike\_Mabes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mike_Mabes)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-a-57-year-old-single-man-make-friends/846680/7 "2020-01-20T00:11:31Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > Set up your own meetup group that matches your hours? Call it the Swing Shift X Group. Since you have the initial control on what X is, if it works, it will be perfect for you. That reminds me. When I was in Rhode Island, I created a Facebook group - Rhode Island Eggheads. For discussion of books and history and current events. One person joined. I have a feeling the same thing will happen it I create a Meet-Up group, but what do I have to lose? ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-a-57-year-old-single-man-make-friends/846680/8 "2020-01-20T01:08:28Z")
Oops. Probably can’t post that. ---
**Author:** ![naita](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naita/32/5862_2.png) [@naita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/naita)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-a-57-year-old-single-man-make-friends/846680/9 "2020-01-20T02:45:00Z")
> [@Mike\_Mabes](#): > > As far as meeting women, I have tried Tinder and OK Cupid, I now have a membership to the latter, after cancelling Tinder. Has anyone here ever met a woman from either of those sites? So far I haven’t. I had a few dates through Ok Cupid and it’s how I met my wife five years ago. My brother-in-law met his wife through Tinder. ---
**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-a-57-year-old-single-man-make-friends/846680/10 "2020-01-20T04:29:49Z")
I empathize. I have a lot of friends scattered throughout the country and overseas. I have few friends where I live, and less than I used to due to my eyesight and the fact some friends have moved away. Give creating a Meet-Up group a try, but put some thought into what you call it. Whiskey and Books is a great name because it implies it’s fun (Alcohol!) and substantive. Rhode Island Eggheads has less allure. Maybe other Dopers have good suggestions re: names. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-a-57-year-old-single-man-make-friends/846680/11 "2020-01-20T04:51:52Z")
I have often told my husband, **Tom Scud,** that if anything ever happened to me, he should get involved in 2 things: yoga and cat rescue. He agrees 🙂 Pursue your interests, and you are likely to meet other people who enjoy the same things you do. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-a-57-year-old-single-man-make-friends/846680/12 "2020-01-20T05:06:12Z")
I forget where I heard the line, maybe it will ring a bell for someone, but some guy is telling a friend about meeting his dream woman “at the stun line in a meat-packing plant.” ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-a-57-year-old-single-man-make-friends/846680/13 "2020-01-20T05:46:43Z")
Yep. Cats. Works Everytime. (I really have no idea, but I would like a guy who likes cats) ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-a-57-year-old-single-man-make-friends/846680/14 "2020-01-20T08:09:02Z")
Also whiskey and books implies leisure and refinement. If we’re going with reading themed groups, what sort of reading? Cigars and Science? Pipes and Pages? Cookies and Fantasy? Regarding dating sites. I met a woman on OKCupid once. We liked each other and could spend hours talking but, oddly, there wasn’t enough attraction to keep the relationship going beyond a few friendly dates. My current (and still shiny and new to me)gf I met on pof. Dating websites aren’t any better than bumping carts in the produce section, just more convenient. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-a-57-year-old-single-man-make-friends/846680/15 "2020-01-20T08:40:11Z")
Do you do sporty stuff? There are lots of social opportunities with cycling and running and probably others. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-a-57-year-old-single-man-make-friends/846680/16 "2020-01-20T13:07:24Z")
Try the Meetup site. It works. ---
**Author:** ![Bijou\_Drains](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bijou_drains/32/2814_2.png) [@Bijou\_Drains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bijou_Drains)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-a-57-year-old-single-man-make-friends/846680/17 "2020-01-20T14:52:50Z")
there are meetups that have almost all their meetups during the day on weekdays, look for one of those. Those have retired people, students, stay at home moms, etc. ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-a-57-year-old-single-man-make-friends/846680/18 "2020-01-20T18:26:10Z")
Find an interest such as photography, antiques, leather work (no, not that kind), role playing games etc. and hang out where they are practiced or supplies bought and sold. OK, maybe that kind of leather work if it’s an interest. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-a-57-year-old-single-man-make-friends/846680/19 "2020-01-20T18:48:25Z")
Could you take a class at a community college in something that interests you? ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-a-57-year-old-single-man-make-friends/846680/20 "2020-01-20T19:38:39Z")
Hmm… 57? Check Widowed? Check NYC? Dagnabbit. I don’t suppose you’d like to move to Texas, would you? Meetup is probably really good in NYC. I didn’t find that many good groups in my area… however, being liberal in Texas makes me pretty unusual. There’s a senior group that trends a little older than me (and is run by someone who I have a political difference of opinion, and it shows), and a bunch of gaming groups that tend to play on week. My biggest problem is my interests tend to be girly. I like crafts, and my preferred reading material is romances. And my health is too iffy for things like hiking groups. Heh - I just checked my email, and there’s a new group for “socially awkward introverts” Look, my kind of people! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-a-57-year-old-single-man-make-friends/846680.md?page=2)