# How Does 'Laser Vaginal Tightening' Work? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [August 23, 2004, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-laser-vaginal-tightening-work/261094 "2004-08-23T15:27:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2004, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-laser-vaginal-tightening-work/261094/21 "2004-08-24T20:55:35Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > Vaginal tightening is a common practice in many islamic countries, It is done by cutting the walls with a knife, and packing the vagina with salt (outch!). Obviously, this has the potential to cause a fatali infection. I read about this in T. E. Lawrence’s book. :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2004, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-laser-vaginal-tightening-work/261094/22 "2004-08-24T21:03:24Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > Finally, a proceedure tat women can use a bag of frozen peas for post surgical pain I hate to harp on this, but frozen blueberries are better for ice packs than frozen peas. Mainly because when the ice pack thaws, you have a yummy treat, vs. a bag of mushy peas. In this case, YMMV on the yummy part. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2004, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-laser-vaginal-tightening-work/261094/23 "2004-08-24T21:13:30Z")
Well, you saw _Goldfinger_ didn’t you? Same thing. See, they take an older woman, strap her down to a large metal slab naked and then this big laser crackles to life and sends a red beam slowly up towards her genitals. Then the lady’s vagina squeals out “Doctor, do you expect me to talk?” and the doctor replies “No, I expect you to tighten.” ---
**Author:** ![altiod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c6cbf5/32.png) [@altiod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/altiod)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-laser-vaginal-tightening-work/261094/24 "2004-08-25T00:19:15Z")
_ick._ Just thinking about this makes my whole body tighten up. ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-laser-vaginal-tightening-work/261094/25 "2004-08-25T01:32:23Z")
> [@altiod](#): > > Just thinking about this makes my whole body tighten up. Well, then it works _two_ ways! ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-laser-vaginal-tightening-work/261094/26 "2004-08-25T02:45:22Z")
Remember Val Kilmer in the movie Real Genius? Short Kid: But what’s it _for_? What are they really going to do with this laser? Val: Who cares, that’s for the engineers to worry about! ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-laser-vaginal-tightening-work/261094/27 "2004-08-25T02:47:31Z")
Betcha the inventors of the laser (and the Internet) never thought it would lead to Dr. Matlock’s site… 😕 :eek: :eek: :o 😕 :o :eek: (mostly at the nonchalant matter-of-factness of it all… only the medical profession could attempt to write about reconstructing someone’s privates in terms less exotic than those used to describe restoring an old VW ) ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-laser-vaginal-tightening-work/261094/28 "2004-08-25T04:56:57Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > WOOT=) > > Finally, a proceedure tat women can use a bag of frozen peas for post surgical pain 😃 > Q. How much discomfort will I have after laser vaginal rejuvenation? > A. With our technique of submucossal tumescence, pudendal block with long acting local anesthetic, you will be pain free for the first 18 to 24 hours. After this **patients report mild to moderate discomfort** which can be controlled by analgesics and cold packs to the area. (Bolding mine) ‘Moderate discomfort’ is doctorese for, "This is gonna hurt like a bastard\* DD - Or bitch, take your pick. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2004, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-laser-vaginal-tightening-work/261094/29 "2004-08-25T20:43:32Z")
I’m leaning toward **MrTuffPaws** ’ word choice of “rejuvenating” instead of your “restoring”. You restore '57 Chevys, not vaginas. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-laser-vaginal-tightening-work/261094.md?page=1)