# How Does One Deal With Painfully Stupid Friends? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 22, 2006, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-deal-with-painfully-stupid-friends/345626 "2006-02-22T14:38:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2006, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-deal-with-painfully-stupid-friends/345626/21 "2006-02-22T22:58:19Z")
> [@ParentalAdvisory](#): > > \ If not, you have to compromise. Maybe that’s the heart of the matter - how much _are_ you willing to compromise? I think it’s either compromise or reduce your involvement in the friendship. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2006, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-deal-with-painfully-stupid-friends/345626/22 "2006-02-22T23:45:10Z")
> [@kiz](#): > > “Whoa, here you are in one of the most culturally-rich countries in the world and all you care about is gelatio?!?” _I_ care about gelatio: mmm, she takes a mouthful of ice-cream and then goes down on me - bliss. ---
**Author:** ![Rodgers01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@Rodgers01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodgers01)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2006, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-deal-with-painfully-stupid-friends/345626/23 "2006-02-23T05:33:47Z")
> [@AmericanMaid](#): > > Last night, I found out that she has no idea what the Berlin Wall was…she has traveled extensively in Europe and to Russia… This would bother me. Yeah, sure, like everyone’s saying, everyone has their areas of academic interest, and what seems obvious to one person may not be obvious to another. But there are some things that anyone who has had access to a normal education should at least have _heard_ of. LonesomePolecat, you might know nothing about sports, but I’d bet that you could differentiate between a basketball and a baseball, and you might even know that baseball is played on a diamond and that the players use bats. Not having heard of the Berlin Wall seems to me to be on that level of ignorance – _especially_ if she’s travelled extensively in Europe and Russia. That would be kind of like going to Notre Dame and not recognizing a football. She might not be stupid just because of that one thing (it speaks more poorly of our education system), but if she’s generally on that level of ignorance, maybe she is just not smart. …Which of course doesn’t mean she’s a bad person. I agree with the others who have said that if you enjoy her company when you’re talking about other things, then there shouldn’t be much of a problem. ---
**Author:** ![TwistyLamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ba0ec/32.png) [@TwistyLamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistyLamp)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2006, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-deal-with-painfully-stupid-friends/345626/24 "2006-02-23T06:51:52Z")
> [@](#): > > but has it occurred to you that you may have gaps in your general knowledge that make other people roll their eyes? Myself, I am completely, utterly disinterested in sports, and know virtually nothing about the subject. There have been any number of times when I’ve seen friends and family drop their jaws and gawk at me when the subject turns to sports and I ask, “Well, who is this?” or “What is that?” On the other hand, there’s a huge difference between folks who aren’t very good at picking up incidental knowledge and people who are the type who are " Ummmm…Who’s President Bush?" ---
**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2006, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-deal-with-painfully-stupid-friends/345626/25 "2006-02-23T14:16:51Z")
> [@Ensign Edison](#): > > And what’s the problem with her speculation about converting to Islam? What’s stupid about that? My interpretation of this was that she is only intrigued by the idea of praying five times a day and making a pilgrimage. I’m assuming that she doesn’t understand that Islam isn’t a Judeo-Christian religion, and while they think Jesus was a nice guy, they don’t believe that He was the Son of God on Earth. It sounds like she doesn’t understand that it’s a completely different set of beliefs based on a different view of history that celebrates completely different holidays. She just likes the idea of praying five times a day (which, of course, she could do on her own no matter what religion she ascribes to) and visiting a holy place. ---
**Author:** ![AmericanMaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@AmericanMaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AmericanMaid)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2006, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-deal-with-painfully-stupid-friends/345626/26 "2006-02-23T15:02:16Z")
> [@Avarie537](#): > > My interpretation of this was that she is only intrigued by the idea of praying five times a day and making a pilgrimage. I’m assuming that she doesn’t understand that Islam isn’t a Judeo-Christian religion, and while they think Jesus was a nice guy, they don’t believe that He was the Son of God on Earth. It sounds like she doesn’t understand that it’s a completely different set of beliefs based on a different view of history that celebrates completely different holidays. She just likes the idea of praying five times a day (which, of course, she could do on her own no matter what religion she ascribes to) and visiting a holy place. **Avarie 537** you hit it on the head. Since she doesn’t keep up on current events or history, I doubt that she understands a woman’s role in Islam. She just has a Muslim friend who raves about his religion and she’s intrigued. Her excuse about not knowing anything about world history is that her high school reduced their history program - she is 29 years old. :rolleyes: I do have to admit that she kicks my butt in the romance dept. I am as clueless as an eleven year old and she is in a strong, loving relationship. I think I will take some advice from this topic. We have already placed a ban upon discussing politics due to a bad experience after the 2004 election. She will be my shallow topic friend. If I feel passionately about something or want to discuss current events, I’ll look elsewhere. If she doesn’t understand something, I will refer her to a book rather than turn into a schoolmarm. Under no circumstance should I travel abroad with her. ---
**Author:** ![Rodgers01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@Rodgers01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodgers01)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-deal-with-painfully-stupid-friends/345626/27 "2006-02-24T06:05:20Z")
> [@AmericanMaid](#): > > Her excuse about not knowing anything about world history is that her high school reduced their history program - she is 29 years old. :rolleyes: I do have to admit that she kicks my butt in the romance dept. I am as clueless as an eleven year old and she is in a strong, loving relationship. That means she was a teenager when the Berlin Wall fell. Barring extraordinary circumstances, that means she at least should have had some vague idea of the thing. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-deal-with-painfully-stupid-friends/345626/28 "2006-02-24T10:45:52Z")
> [@AmericanMaid](#): > > **Avarie 537** you hit it on the head. Since she doesn’t keep up on current events or history, I doubt that she understands a woman’s role in Islam. She just has a Muslim friend who raves about his religion and she’s intrigued. The role of women in Islam is as varied as the role of women in Christianity. As an Episcopalian, I could argue that Catholicism is sexist because Catholicism doesn’t allow women to be priests, although, in reality, it’s not something I do. I can understand her curiousity about a religion she knows little or nothing about, especially one that a friend speaks so favorably of; one of the reasons I’m interested in and know about Wicca is because a good friend of mine is a Wiccan. My friend, by the way, is also very conservative and not only did he vote for Bush, but he also fully supports the war in Iraq. Now, he’s one of the least stupid or ignorant people I know and we have marvelous conversations covering almost every subject under the sun, and religion is a particular favorite, but we know from long experience that feelings run high when we discuss politics, so we usually leave that topic alone. If the business about pilgrimages to holy places concern you, you might want to work into your conversation the Catholic tradition of pilgrimages to holy places, especially Rome, although I understand Lourdes is also quite popular. For that matter, isn’t a traditional Jewish toast at Rosh Hashannah, “Next year in Jerusalem!”? If it’s praying several times a day, that’s also part of long-standing Catholic tradition. [Here’s a link to the eight traditional Catholic daily offices.](http://www.music.vt.edu/musicdictionary/texto/Office.html) While I believe these were mainly observed in monasteries, I know many churches offer morning, evening, and midday prayer and the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer contains instructions for observing those three and, I think, Vespers at home. Since Lent’s coming up soon, it’ll be even easier to attend one of these services. My advice is enjoy your friend’s company for what it is, and don’t worry about the areas you differ in. There’s a lot to be said for talking about “men, movies, and money” without trying to solve the problems of the world. There are even times when it can be downright refreshing! Good luck! CJ ---
**Author:** ![longinus876](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d78d45/32.png) [@longinus876](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/longinus876)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-deal-with-painfully-stupid-friends/345626/29 "2015-09-16T21:27:23Z")
i think you have only one choice. Dump her in the garbage as fast as you can. I’m married to a moron also. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Oh, maybe i would. Stop trying to pin me down. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-deal-with-painfully-stupid-friends/345626/30 "2015-09-16T21:31:57Z")
Ummm…never mind. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Memnon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f1d935/32.png) [@Memnon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Memnon)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-deal-with-painfully-stupid-friends/345626/31 "2015-09-16T21:52:34Z")
There’s this chap in England called Joey Essex. He’s one of those ‘Famous for being famous’ types. Anyway, he’s either so cataclysmically stupid he probably has to whistle when he goes to the toilet to remind himself which end to shit through, _or_ he’s one of the best comedy actors in the world. No-one can decide. Check this video out - [Is Joey Essex Thick?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErfnbN2qMck) (NSFW!) Anyway, he’s a millionaire. Intelligence is overrated. ---
**Author:** ![purplehearingaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@purplehearingaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehearingaid)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-deal-with-painfully-stupid-friends/345626/32 "2015-09-16T21:52:36Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > Ummm…never mind. > mmm LOL! ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-deal-with-painfully-stupid-friends/345626/33 "2015-09-17T01:09:22Z")
If the person is really very sweet and good-hearted and fun, then I just assume that person is clueless about some things. Almost everyone has some areas in which they are clueless. If the person is a self-absorbed jerk, \*then \*they fall into the painfully stupid category. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![WF\_Tomba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d9b06d/32.png) [@WF\_Tomba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WF_Tomba)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-deal-with-painfully-stupid-friends/345626/34 "2015-09-17T01:14:54Z")
Some of my friends are so painfully stupid, it’s like they’re barely alive. They just shuffle forward, moaning incoherently, their eyes glazed, faces pallid … ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-deal-with-painfully-stupid-friends/345626/35 "2015-09-17T01:44:19Z")
> [@WF\_Tomba](#): > > Some of my friends are so painfully stupid, it’s like they’re barely alive. They just shuffle forward, moaning incoherently, their eyes glazed, faces pallid … … and you are writing about this here Right Now… because The Republican Debates are being broadcast on network TV RIGHT NOW and you know they won’t read it? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![brovolone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e4f/32.png) [@brovolone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brovolone)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-deal-with-painfully-stupid-friends/345626/36 "2015-09-17T01:47:13Z")
The best part of this post is you going behind her back and calling her stupid. Man up and tell her to her face then de-friend her. ---
**Author:** ![brovolone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e4f/32.png) [@brovolone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brovolone)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-deal-with-painfully-stupid-friends/345626/37 "2015-09-17T01:56:28Z")
Fuck. This is from 2006. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-deal-with-painfully-stupid-friends/345626/38 "2015-09-17T03:04:08Z")
It may be from 2006, but the below is so monumentally, catastrophically, and hilariously stupid that I am ever so grateful the thread was bumped. > [@Zulema](#): > > After the World Trade Center collapsed she thought that gas prices were going up because all the gasoline in the country was kept in the WTC buildings. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-deal-with-painfully-stupid-friends/345626/39 "2015-09-17T03:39:14Z")
Personally, I’d probably bring a whiteboard marker and eraser with me anytime I was meeting with them, so that where necessary I could give a proper overview of any subject. ---
**Author:** ![SpeedwayRyan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@SpeedwayRyan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpeedwayRyan)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-deal-with-painfully-stupid-friends/345626/40 "2015-09-17T03:54:05Z")
I know a few people like this. The problem isn’t that they are stupid, it’s that they have zero desire to learn things. If something comes up and I don’t know about it, I have an innate desire to look it up, learn more, understand it…these people don’t have that drive. At all. That’s the toughest aspect to wrap my head around. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-deal-with-painfully-stupid-friends/345626.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-deal-with-painfully-stupid-friends/345626.md?page=3)