# How does one use a condom incorrectly? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [August 29, 2009, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196 "2009-08-29T20:39:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![doubled](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/51bf81/32.png) [@doubled](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doubled)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/1 "2009-08-29T20:39:06Z")
Inspired by this thread: [Often stated condom are 98% reliable. How is reliability calculated? - Factual Questions - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=529963) I’ve always heard condoms work “if used correctly”. Supposedly, according to the other thread “most” people don’t use them correctly. But I got to ask – how does one use a condom incorrectly? I always thought the rules were just: 1. put it on BEFORE your penis gets in or near the woman’s vagina, 2. make sure it’s unrolled all the way 3. be careful it doesn’t slip off when you’re withdrawing. Seems pretty straight-forward to me. Am I missing something? Is there some other “use correctly” step that I’m missing? Or are “most” people really unable to intuitvely understand those directions? ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/2 "2009-08-29T20:43:08Z")
Example 1 Movie _Summer of '42._ Druggist to kid: “You know what these are for, don’t you son?” Kid: “You fill 'em up with water and you throw 'em off the roof.” [Example 2](http://scrapetv.com/News/News%20Pages/Business/images-2/condom-being-inflated-over-mans-head.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![SCSimmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e495f1/32.png) [@SCSimmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCSimmons)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/3 "2009-08-29T21:16:24Z")
> [@doubled](#): > > Inspired by this thread: [Often stated condom are 98% reliable. How is reliability calculated? - Factual Questions - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=529963) > > I’ve always heard condoms work “if used correctly”. Supposedly, according to the other thread “most” people don’t use them correctly. > > But I got to ask – how does one use a condom incorrectly? I always thought the rules were just: > > 1. put it on BEFORE your penis gets in or near the woman’s vagina, > 2. make sure it’s unrolled all the way > 3. be careful it doesn’t slip off when you’re withdrawing. > > Seems pretty straight-forward to me. Am I missing something? Is there some other “use correctly” step that I’m missing? Or are “most” people really unable to intuitvely understand those directions? I suspect that rule one is the one most people find most challenging … (P.S. Today is one of those days I’m glad I’ve never changed my signature quote, even if it is seven years old …) ---
**Author:** ![lee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lee/32/7455_2.png) [@lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lee)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/4 "2009-08-29T21:21:52Z")
_Stranger’s with Candy_ had a stunning example of incorrect condom use. The health teacher first unrolled the condom all the way and then tugged it over a banana like a sock going on a foot. It seemed to be unlubricated. The technique seemed like it would result easily in a torn condom and possibly an abraded cock. ---
**Author:** ![FORTRAN\_forever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f17d59/32.png) [@FORTRAN\_forever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FORTRAN_forever)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/5 "2009-08-29T21:41:44Z")
Two [your favorite ethnicity goes here] were sharing a needle doing drugs when a bystander yelled “Don’t you know that you’re going to get HIV that way”? One of them giggled and said “It’s OK - we’re wearing condoms”. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/6 "2009-08-29T21:43:03Z")
Off the top of my head : 1. putting it on before one is hard 2. unfolding it beforehand 3. withdrawing right before climax, putting it on, then going back in 4 putting it on long before penetration (I actually did that one on my first time) 4. not pinching the tip to create an air bubble for the semen. Granted, that one’s obsolete these days since 99% of the time rubbers have a reservoir up top, but I guess before that development, exploding condoms happened because our sex ed teachers kept harping on that pinch 5. Keeping it in your pocket as a talisman 6. Re-use. Oh yes, it happens. ---
**Author:** ![KlondikeGeoff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3e96dc/32.png) [@KlondikeGeoff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KlondikeGeoff)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/7 "2009-08-29T22:13:54Z")
There is aways the danger of fallout. ---
**Author:** ![MeDrewNotYou](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@MeDrewNotYou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeDrewNotYou)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/8 "2009-08-29T22:31:01Z")
To put it delicately, size can be a factor. If you’re _ahem_ _endowed_, make sure you buy the right size of condoms. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Fake\_Tales\_of\_San\_Francisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8491ac/32.png) [@Fake\_Tales\_of\_San\_Francisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fake_Tales_of_San_Francisco)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/9 "2009-08-29T23:41:07Z")
> [@MeDrewNotYou](#): > > To put it delicately, size can be a factor. If you’re _ahem_ _endowed_, make sure you buy the right size of condoms. 😉 The reverse is also true. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/10 "2009-08-29T23:48:32Z")
Using the wrong kind of lube is improper use. People have been known to lubricate them with, say, hand cream, which is a really bad idea, as that tends to weaken the latex so that it tears more easily. Not to mention that I wouldn’t think it would be good to get lotion in your partner’s vagina or anus, but that’s not the point. Not using lube at all is also often improper use. Sure, a lot of them are pre-lubricated, but most aren’t lubed enough to do much good. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Great\_Philosopher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3ec8ea/32.png) [@The\_Great\_Philosopher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Great_Philosopher)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2009, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/11 "2009-08-30T00:29:02Z")
The only one I really got taught in sex ed was the “pinch the end while you unravel it or you’ll end up powering through the latex” thing. ---
**Author:** ![Alex\_Dubinsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dbc845/32.png) [@Alex\_Dubinsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alex_Dubinsky)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2009, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/12 "2009-08-30T00:34:28Z")
I don’t understand this whole pinching thing. Did these sex ed teachers not understand the physics of fluids? Air /= vacuum. Did they really emphasize it that much? ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2009, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/13 "2009-08-30T01:18:46Z")
> [@Telperien](#): > > Not using lube at all is also often improper use. Sure, a lot of them are pre-lubricated, but most aren’t lubed enough to do much good. Especially if it’s going into an area of the body that doesn’t naturally make its own lubrication. ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2009, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/14 "2009-08-30T01:35:56Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > Especially if it’s going into an area of the body that doesn’t naturally make its own lubrication. Like a nostril? ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2009, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/15 "2009-08-30T02:13:39Z")
> [@tr0psn4j](#): > > Like a nostril? Sure, if that’s what you’re into. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2009, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/16 "2009-08-30T02:59:02Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > Off the top of my head… 😃 > [@Kobal2](#): > > …7) Re-use. Oh yes, it happens. When I was a prosecutor in the paternity establishment/child support unit, there was an oft-repeated and probably apocryphal story about a woman at a wild party who reused the same condom (turned inside-out the second time) that evening, and nine months later had two kids. DNA testing showed each had a different dad; she went after both for child support. ---
**Author:** ![Measure\_for\_Measure](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/measure_for_measure/32/557_2.png) [@Measure\_for\_Measure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Measure_for_Measure)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2009, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/17 "2009-08-30T04:04:13Z")
> [@Telperien](#): > > Using the wrong kind of lube is improper use. People have been known to lubricate them with, say, hand cream, which is a really bad idea, as that tends to weaken the latex so that it tears more easily. Not to mention that I wouldn’t think it would be good to get lotion in your partner’s vagina or anus, but that’s not the point. Not using lube at all is also often improper use. Sure, a lot of them are pre-lubricated, but most aren’t lubed enough to do much good. Any oil based lube such as Vaseline will cause problems. Proper lube is water based. If you are skeptical, try blowing up a condom like a balloon and rubbing vaseline on it: it will rupture. ---
**Author:** ![MeDrewNotYou](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@MeDrewNotYou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeDrewNotYou)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2009, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/18 "2009-08-30T04:26:47Z")
> [@Measure\_for\_Measure](#): > > Any oil based lube such as Vaseline will cause problems. Proper lube is water based. > > If you are skeptical, try blowing up a condom like a balloon and rubbing vaseline on it: it will rupture. I sense a possible cool science/sex ed demo! ---
**Author:** ![qazwart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/5fc32e/32.png) [@qazwart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/qazwart)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2009, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/19 "2009-08-30T05:19:24Z")
According to one urban legend, NGO workers demonstrated to a local population how to use a condom by placing the condom on a broom handle. The locals took the condoms, but the condoms didn’t seem work. The locals did what they were taught – they too put the condom on a broom handle before getting into bed with their wives. I think that would count as using a condom incorrectly. Mad Magazine in Denmark offered a free condom to its readers. Inside, the condom was stapled to the page. That might also constitute as “improper use”. Some might also call [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uknDkAw-tU) a misuse of condoms too. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2009, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/20 "2009-08-30T13:36:17Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > 😃 Finally ! Someone noticed 🙂 > [@](#): > > When I was a prosecutor in the paternity establishment/child support unit, there was an oft-repeated and probably apocryphal story about a woman at a wild party who reused the same condom (turned inside-out the second time) that evening, and nine months later had two kids. DNA testing showed each had a different dad; she went after both for child support. Pretty sure that’s biologically impossible, but hey, never let facts get in the way of a good story ;). On the subject of creative condom use, I remember, when I was in high school, listening to an evening sex ed radio show. A girl called the station to ask if it was OK for her boyfriend to use a supermarket plastic bag in lieu of a condom, and if so how should they lube it. To his credit, the doc hosting the show didn’t break out in laughter - but the rest of the studio sure did. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196.md?page=2)