# How does one use a condom incorrectly?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196
**Category:** Factual Questions
**Created:** [August 29, 2009, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196 "2009-08-29T20:39:06Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 4
### Author:  [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)
#### Post date: [September 3, 2009, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/61 "2009-09-03T22:16:58Z")
My mother once told me the following story, which may or may not be true:
During the Great Depression, her grandparents were dirt-poor farmers who couldn’t afford to have any more kids, but also couldn’t afford to buy condoms. (In addition to which they lived in Amish country in Indiana, which seems like a place that wouldn’t have a lot of condoms for sale in the first place.) So they’d use the single condom in their possession, and then my great-grandma would wash it out and hang on the laundry line to dry.
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### Author:  [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)
#### Post date: [September 3, 2009, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/62 "2009-09-03T22:55:45Z")
I believe ‘natural’ condoms (sheep’s bladder or whatever) can be reused after washing.
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### Author:  [@CC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CC)
#### Post date: [September 4, 2009, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/63 "2009-09-04T16:50:07Z")
I’m an old guy. Whenever I hear about the kinds of things people are doing these days with greater frequency than I ever could have imagined, I think that I was born waaaaaaay too early. And then, I read a thread like this, where many of the trials, tribulations and grief that goes with using rubbers (what they used to be called) are detailed, and I think, Man, am I glad I was born when I was. Sure, we knew that there were STD’s, (almost all of them treatable), but if you knew your partner, and she was on the pill, or was using a diaphragm, you could have that most wondrous of all wonderful things, what is called unprotected sex. And I’m also speaking for many women, who also enjoyed the sensations connected with that.
Ok, carry on. (as it were)
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### Author:  [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)
#### Post date: [September 4, 2009, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/64 "2009-09-04T20:55:36Z")
> [@garygnu](#):
>
> I believe ‘natural’ condoms (sheep’s bladder or whatever) can be reused after washing.
“Natural” condoms are made from a layer of a sheep’s intestine, exactly the same material used as “natural” casings for sausages. There’s no reservoir tip, and the tip has a little knot to seal it. Before today’s thin latex condoms, natural condoms were preferred by some for the increased sensation and the capacity for warmth to pass through it. Natural condoms will not let sperm cells out, but Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) can get through.
With today’s very thin latex condoms, there’s plenty of sensation, and the old line about showering in a raincoat is not so appropriate.
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### Author:  [@Hadrian\_s\_Wall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hadrian_s_Wall)
#### Post date: [September 5, 2009, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/65 "2009-09-05T01:49:34Z")
> [@MeDrewNotYou](#):
>
> /shudder
>
> I’m less about the smiling and more about the running away with my hands over my crotch. 😃
Got something against deserts?
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### Author:  [@MeDrewNotYou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeDrewNotYou)
#### Post date: [September 5, 2009, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/66 "2009-09-05T02:53:49Z")
> [@Hadrian\_s\_Wall](#):
>
> Got something against deserts?
Nah, but “a few slow chomps” doesn’t really do it for me. YMMV 😉
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### Author:  [@Hadrian\_s\_Wall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hadrian_s_Wall)
#### Post date: [September 5, 2009, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/67 "2009-09-05T18:35:45Z")
> [@MeDrewNotYou](#):
>
> Nah, but “a few slow chomps” doesn’t really do it for me. YMMV 😉
Well, atleast you haven’t had recurring nightmares about that, with the words, “dry as a desert,” in the background. ☹
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### Author:  [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2009, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/68 "2009-09-06T07:12:23Z")
You want to know how to prevent pregnancy?
**After** you have sex with the girl, you take off and nuke her from orbit.
It’s the only way to be sure.
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### Author:  [@Hadrian\_s\_Wall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hadrian_s_Wall)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2009, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/69 "2009-09-06T14:15:03Z")
> [@Zebra](#):
>
> You want to know how to prevent pregnancy?
> **After** you have sex with the girl, you take off and nuke her from orbit.
> It’s the only way to be sure.
No sir you’re in the wrong thread, here’s he one that you’ve probably [meant](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=529705)
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### Author:  [@Milacku](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milacku)
#### Post date: [September 7, 2009, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/70 "2009-09-07T07:59:41Z")
So a kid goes to buy a box of condoms and the clerk says, “That’ll be $8.98 plus tax” and the kid says, “Tacks! I thought they stayed on by themselves!”
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### Author:  [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)
#### Post date: [September 9, 2009, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/71 "2009-09-09T14:27:35Z")
> [@Milacku](#):
>
> So a kid goes to buy a box of condoms and the clerk says, “That’ll be $8.98 plus tax” and the kid says, “Tacks! I thought they stayed on by themselves!”
Then the joke about what’s the difference between the fifties and today? today you go into a drugstore and go **"I’D LIKE SOME CONDOMS** and some cigarettes."
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### Author:  [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)
#### Post date: [September 9, 2009, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/72 "2009-09-09T22:00:25Z")
Another way to mis-use that I don’t think I saw mentioned is attempting to put it on backwards and then doing it the other way. That is, you try to put it on, realize it won’t roll down, so you flip it over and put it on correctly. You know run the risk of sperm (or viruses) being on the outside of the condom. Any time I’ve done that, I always toss it and grab a new one.
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### Author:  [@jabbrjaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jabbrjaw)
#### Post date: [September 15, 2010, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/73 "2010-09-15T01:28:47Z")
> [@Enright3](#):
>
> > [@MeDrewNotYou](#):
> >
> > To put it delicately, size can be a factor. If you’re _ahem_ _endowed_, make sure you buy the right size of condoms. 😉
>
> That’s the biggest load of bull I’ve ever heard. Over sized condoms are nothing but a marketing ploy. Certainly in terms of breakage. I suppose I could see where ones girth might make it feel snug, but… :rolleyes:
>
> I’ve seen a friend, as a party trick, inflate a condom and pull it over his head past his chin, and that was a long time ago. I’m sure condom technology has been increased even since then.
It may be bull that regular condoms won’t accommodate a large member (they do stretch), but it’s no joke that they won’t work well—in terms comfort, staying hard—if they’re too small. That’s no marketing ploy. Plus, some of the regular ones are fine for girth, but they aren’t long enough to stay put.
And the brand does matter. Some don’t stretch in width nearly as much as others. If sort of doesn’t matter if it hits over your head (the one north of your neck) if it squeezes your cock so much that there’s no sensation from intercourse.
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### Author:  [@suranyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suranyi)
#### Post date: [September 15, 2010, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/74 "2010-09-15T01:44:55Z")
> [@Mudshark](#):
>
> > [@Oglomott](#):
> >
> > What about putting it on wrong side out? Is there even such a thing as wrong side out on a condom?
>
> Yes. It won’t unroll all they way if you put it on the wrong way.
And if this happens, and you turn it around to unroll it the right way, it counts as an incorrect use, for the reason pointed out by **RandMcnally**.
I’m ashamed to say that in earlier times this happened to me a lot.
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### Author:  [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)
#### Post date: [September 15, 2010, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/75 "2010-09-15T01:48:29Z")
[QUOTE=Serenata67;11503530Like having [Ear Sex]
([Prick Up Your Ears (Family Guy) - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prick_Up_Your_Ears_(Family_Guy)))? Oh, wait… that’s [not](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/53/what-exactly-is-ear-sex)what it is…
[/QUOTE]
We didn’t see it, but we sure did hear it coming.
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### Author:  [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)
#### Post date: [September 15, 2010, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/76 "2010-09-15T04:46:00Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#):
>
> Another way to mis-use that I don’t think I saw mentioned is attempting to put it on backwards and then doing it the other way. That is, you try to put it on, realize it won’t roll down, so you flip it over and put it on correctly. You know run the risk of sperm (or viruses) being on the outside of the condom. Any time I’ve done that, I always toss it and grab a new one.
Oh! I never get to do this.
::clears throat::
Post 28.
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### Author:  [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)
#### Post date: [September 15, 2010, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/77 "2010-09-15T04:54:28Z")
i heard that keeping them in your wallet could cause them to deteriorate. thumb tack them to your bulletin board instead.
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### Author:  [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)
#### Post date: [September 15, 2010, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/78 "2010-09-15T15:38:56Z")
> [@jabbrjaw](#):
>
> It may be bull that regular condoms won’t accommodate a large member (they do stretch), but it’s no joke that they won’t work well—in terms comfort, staying hard—if they’re too small. That’s no marketing ploy.
You bumped a \*year-old \*thread to say something that other people have already said? Really? (Or was there some spam that got deleted before your post?)
> [@johnpost](#):
>
> thumb tack them to your bulletin board instead.
But not through the middle. 😃
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### Author:  [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)
#### Post date: [September 15, 2010, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/79 "2010-09-15T15:50:47Z")
Pulling it on over your head?\*
\*The one with your eyes, ears, and nose.
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### Author:  [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)
#### Post date: [September 16, 2010, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-one-use-a-condom-incorrectly/508196/80 "2010-09-16T01:25:09Z")
> [@Enright3](#):
>
> > [@MeDrewNotYou](#):
> >
> > To put it delicately, size can be a factor. If you’re _ahem_ _endowed_, make sure you buy the right size of condoms. 😉
>
> That’s the biggest load of bull I’ve ever heard. Over sized condoms are nothing but a marketing ploy. Certainly in terms of breakage. I suppose I could see where ones girth might make it feel snug, but… :rolleyes:
>
> I’ve seen a friend, as a party trick, inflate a condom and pull it over his head past his chin, and that was a long time ago. I’m sure condom technology has been increased even since then.
I was once given a “condom tool kit” by a friend…different sizes and fittings.
There most certainly was a difference in fit…most notably one partiuclar size finished a good 2 cm before the base…
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