# How does someone establish ownership of a cemetery plot? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [September 9, 2025, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-someone-establish-ownership-of-a-cemetery-plot/1022899 "2025-09-09T22:19:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2025, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-someone-establish-ownership-of-a-cemetery-plot/1022899/1 "2025-09-09T22:19:07Z")
My parents bought cemetery plots (1980’s) for themselves and me in a very large cemetery. They’re buried a few rows away from my grandparents. My mom’s sister’s extended family is also buried there. I didn’t receive any paperwork from the estate. How can I leave instructions for burial next to my parents? **Option 2** There is an old family cemetery. Dozens of my mom’s family are buried there. The cemetery was established by two familes in the 1930’s. I remember my grandmother paying a share to keep it mowed and maintained. The other family (unrelated to us) also pays a maintenance share. How would someone leave instructions to be buried in a private cemetery? The last burial I remember is my aunt in 2004. She was my grandmother’s sister. My grandmother was concerned the private family cemetery could be forgotten and neglected. She choose to buy plots in the larger, public cemetery. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2025, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-someone-establish-ownership-of-a-cemetery-plot/1022899/2 "2025-09-09T22:36:58Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > I didn’t receive any paperwork from the estate. How can I leave instructions for burial next to my parents? Get in contact with the cemetery management, which should have records for ownership of plots. If your parents bought three plots together, management should have that information. Does their estate/will state that you were to receive that third plot, or was that just their verbal wish? If the latter, it may make things slightly more complicated. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2025, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-someone-establish-ownership-of-a-cemetery-plot/1022899/3 "2025-09-09T22:41:28Z")
I don’t remember seeing anything in the will. My parents just told me they bought 3 plots. I was still in college and wasn’t that interested at the time. I assumed my eventual death was still 50 plus years away. My mom had prepaid her funeral. I wasn’t involved in making any arrangements. Except for attending the funeral. It may be easier to make similar arrangements with the same funeral home that buried my parents. They would have burial information in their records. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2025, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-someone-establish-ownership-of-a-cemetery-plot/1022899/4 "2025-09-09T22:45:05Z")
Funeral plots have deeds that are similar to real estate deeds in many respects. Your parents should have received those pieces of paper for each lot they bought when they bought them. Of course papers can get lost along the way. As @kenobi_65 said, the cemetery management company also keeps all those records. That’d be the place to start. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2025, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-someone-establish-ownership-of-a-cemetery-plot/1022899/5 "2025-09-09T22:49:07Z")
The plot cost in the 1980’s would be much lower compared to today. Also, some cemeteries are full. They’ve already sold any unused plots. I’ll contact the cemetery for more information. I have done some initial research. > **[Cemetery Plot Ownership Laws, Your Rights, Transfers, And Hidden Rules](https://allaboutlawyer.com/cemetery-plot-ownership-laws-your-rights-transfers-and-hidden-rules/)** > > Cemetery plot ownership isn’t what you think. Learn state laws, tax traps, and how to avoid losing your grave. Includes veteran rules, FAQs, and free tools. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2025, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-someone-establish-ownership-of-a-cemetery-plot/1022899/6 "2025-09-09T23:00:27Z")
If your parents bought plot 123 for you, that’s forever. The fact there’s no body in it (yet) doesn’t mean they can sell it out from (literally) under you. So I’m not sure what point you’re reaching towards with the aside about full cemeteries. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2025, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-someone-establish-ownership-of-a-cemetery-plot/1022899/7 "2025-09-09T23:19:39Z")
I was thinking about situations where people didn’t buy multiple plots. The future descendants might not get into the same cemetery. I’m glad now that my parents planned ahead 40 years ago. I find it comforting to visit the cemetery and see multiple generations of my relatives graves. Keeping the extended family together. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2025, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-someone-establish-ownership-of-a-cemetery-plot/1022899/8 "2025-09-09T23:23:53Z")
Yeah. Although how far does that go? If you want to be buried with your parents, then how will you get your spouse and kids into the same cemetery so the kids too can be buried with _their_ parents? And the next generation … Of course that’s the same problem as “whose house do we have Thanksgiving at?”. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2025, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-someone-establish-ownership-of-a-cemetery-plot/1022899/9 "2025-09-09T23:31:27Z")
Not necessarily forever. Even if the spot is bought, there are city, state and cemetery rules that factor in, leases that may only extend to as little as 50 years, maintenance fees that, if not paid, can cause you to lose the rights, and even bankruptcy of the people that run the cemetery itself. ---
**Author:** ![Mk\_VII](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Mk\_VII](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mk_VII)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2025, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-someone-establish-ownership-of-a-cemetery-plot/1022899/10 "2025-09-10T08:15:06Z")
After 50 years, there will be little left but bone splinters, and it’s not uncommon here in Europe for plots to be reused after a set time. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2025, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-someone-establish-ownership-of-a-cemetery-plot/1022899/11 "2025-09-10T11:33:06Z")
Likely not applicable, but. with cremations, cemeteries will likely plant several urns in a single plot. Gosh, I’ve got a fun anecdote I’d love to add - but we are in FQ… ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2025, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-someone-establish-ownership-of-a-cemetery-plot/1022899/12 "2025-09-10T11:52:23Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Not necessarily forever. Yes! Believe it or not, there can even be foul play. - > The “Chicago cemetery scandal” most notably refers to the 2009 desecration scandal at [Burr Oak Cemetery](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=e7bf22627bcd1c5c&q=Burr+Oak+Cemetery&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwim1rPUj86PAxXRKzQIHYBxHTAQxccNegQIIhAB&mstk=AUtExfCxfKp7DP7Uh-wI7EnMT4hpSDEgUyA4pwQzgqaPa0IvOOfL8YC-F-GGX20iIcOxxCvMpV4yVH8WVT3JLTOjLmFWud7CAdnPbnvp-v2HgUMZkW3gFLssqsqr-V7W6Tm72jk&csui=3), where workers dug up hundreds of graves, dumped bodies in mass graves, and resold the plots to unsuspecting families. This plot-selling scheme involved reselling plots while also burying new bodies in already occupied graves or replacing existing remains. As of 2024, the investigation continues, with a human jawbone and teeth found at the cemetery prompting further investigation into the remains. - I’m not trying to suggest that anything resembling that situation pertains to this cemetery, I’m saying that you just can’t do business and forget about it for God knows how many years. As Czarcasm said, you have to be fully aware of the details and keep track of things over time. ---
**Author:** ![Edward\_The\_Head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ce73a5/32.png) [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2025, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-someone-establish-ownership-of-a-cemetery-plot/1022899/13 "2025-09-10T12:11:31Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > How would someone leave instructions to be buried in a private cemetery? This can be a tricky one. If by private/family cemetery you mean one on someone’s land there may be newer laws preventing any more burials. I believe in my area, Maryland, burials on private land are still sometimes done, but I’m not sure if those are cremations or regular burials. ---
**Author:** ![Mk\_VII](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Mk\_VII](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mk_VII)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2025, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-someone-establish-ownership-of-a-cemetery-plot/1022899/14 "2025-09-10T12:41:39Z")
People here occasionally find they are building on top of a forgotten Quaker burying ground. The Quakers do not believe in elaborate permanent memorials to the dead. ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2025, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-someone-establish-ownership-of-a-cemetery-plot/1022899/15 "2025-09-10T12:44:45Z")
Yep - apparently my grandfather and all or most of his siblings bought plots when the first of his parents died, because they all were buried together \*. But there were no more plots available when my father and my aunt died so they are buried elsewhere. Which brings up another complication about which wife my uncle will be buried with, first or second? \* One sibling and spouse were moved when all of their children moved. What a hassle when the last living child wanted to sell the plot to another relative decades later - all eight siblings would have jointly inherited the plot and therefore children of the seven deceased siblings would have had to agree to the transfer. So it obviously didn’t happen because it was impossible to even reach everyone in time.The ceemetery was OK with relying on their records, even though my cousin didn’t have the physical paperwork. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2025, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-someone-establish-ownership-of-a-cemetery-plot/1022899/16 "2025-09-10T13:02:48Z")
That’s why IMO this idea of being buried near ancestors is so inappropriate here and now. When & where people lived on their land for generations, and women were chattel ripped from their birth family to then “belong” to their husband’s family, the ancestral burial plot out back made cultural sense. Not now, not here, not anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Marvin\_the\_Martian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/marvin_the_martian/32/2898_2.png) [@Marvin\_the\_Martian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marvin_the_Martian)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2025, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-someone-establish-ownership-of-a-cemetery-plot/1022899/17 "2025-09-10T14:18:57Z")
Anecdote, but relevant to the OP - confirming that the cemetery office should have ownership records: About 15-20 years ago I got a call out of the blue from a distant cousin. His grandmother (my great aunt-in-law) had died and they needed my permission to bury her in the plot next to my great-uncle. Turns out that my grandmother had purchased a family plot, ownership passed on to my mother, then on to my brother and I (completely without our knowledge). The cemetery office had all the records - that’s how my cousin knew who to call. I gave the cemetery a verbal OK, then stopped by the office to sign off after the funeral. It was while reviewing the inventory of the plot that I learned that my parents had buried my stillborn sister there in 1963. (My parents and grandparents are buried in a different cemetery - I had only been to the plot in question once that I remember, back in the late 60s.) > [@LSLGuy](#): > > That’s why IMO this idea of being buried near ancestors is so inappropriate here and now. That’s why my plan is cremation. Do whatever with the ashes, scatter them somewhere symbolic to the survivors or send them down the disposal. I won’t care. Just don’t let them take up valuable space. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2025, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-someone-establish-ownership-of-a-cemetery-plot/1022899/18 "2025-09-10T14:25:11Z")
My parents were cremated and buried in a casket urn. Complying with state laws. A full size plot wasn’t needed, but the laws haven’t caught up with new burials. It will be the same for me. I think eventually one plot could hold several urns. That would save space. It will require changing laws and rules that cemeteries enforce. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2025, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-someone-establish-ownership-of-a-cemetery-plot/1022899/19 "2025-09-10T14:26:12Z")
Buried, cremated, composted, donated to the school lunch program, whatever. My point is only about “near relatives”. Taking up space or not is unrelated to me. ---
**Author:** ![Marvin\_the\_Martian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/marvin_the_martian/32/2898_2.png) [@Marvin\_the\_Martian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marvin_the_Martian)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2025, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-someone-establish-ownership-of-a-cemetery-plot/1022899/20 "2025-09-10T15:25:22Z")
If cremated any relative who wants me buried near them can just take a scoop. Like the bulk barrels at Sprouts. Chuck the leftovers. Problem solved. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-someone-establish-ownership-of-a-cemetery-plot/1022899.md?page=2)