# How Does That Old Joke About Canada Go? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 22, 2009, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-that-old-joke-about-canada-go/503817 "2009-07-22T02:53:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-that-old-joke-about-canada-go/503817/1 "2009-07-22T02:53:49Z")
Something like: Canada _could_ have wound up with French culture, British know-how, and American food. Instead they wound up with French knkow-how, American culture and British food. Or something like that. Anyone know the actual joke? ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-that-old-joke-about-canada-go/503817/2 "2009-07-22T02:58:21Z")
“Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm.” -JFK “In heaven the British are the police, the French are the cooks and the Germans are the engineers. In hell the Germans are the police, the British are the cooks and the French are the engineers.” -unattributed ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-that-old-joke-about-canada-go/503817/3 "2009-07-22T03:03:43Z")
[One version](http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090530164812AASbHCx): > [@](#): > > Canada could have enjoyed English government, French culture and American know-how. Instead, it would up with English know-how, French government, and American culture. ---
**Author:** ![Indistinguishable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/90ced4/32.png) [@Indistinguishable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indistinguishable)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-that-old-joke-about-canada-go/503817/4 "2009-07-22T03:11:01Z")
I always heard that it could’ve been French cuisine, American technology, and British culture, but ended up British cuisine, French technology, and American culture. This, to me, makes a lot more sense than the version in the OP (for example, it’s French cuisine that’s stereotypically looked upon prestigiously, not American food, and it’s British cuisine that’s stereotypically looked down upon, and so on, a la post #2). But I’m sure there are a million variants. ---
**Author:** ![Bartman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@Bartman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bartman)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-that-old-joke-about-canada-go/503817/5 "2009-07-22T03:22:46Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > “In heaven the British are the police, the French are the cooks and the Germans are the engineers. In hell the Germans are the police, the British are the cooks and the French are the engineers.” -unattributed I’m familiar with a longer version: “Heaven is where the police are British, the cooks are French, the engineers are German, the administrators are Swiss and the lovers are Italian. Hell is where the police are German, the cooks are British, the engineers are Italian, the administrators are French and the lovers are Swiss.” ---
**Author:** ![kasuo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8c91f0/32.png) [@kasuo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kasuo)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-that-old-joke-about-canada-go/503817/6 "2009-07-22T04:53:29Z")
> [@Bartman](#): > > Hell is where the police are German, the cooks are British, the engineers are Italian, the administrators are French and the lovers are Swiss." What’s the stereotype about Swiss lovers? Or Italian engineers? I assume the stereotype about German police is that they are brutal, something like the Gestapo, and the bit about British cooks as making terrible-tasting food. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-that-old-joke-about-canada-go/503817/7 "2009-07-22T05:02:44Z")
> [@kasuo](#): > > What’s the stereotype about Swiss lovers? Or Italian engineers? Stereotypically, the Swiss are not noted for warmth of feeling, nor the Italians for technological capability (or, with one exception, making trains run on time). ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-that-old-joke-about-canada-go/503817/8 "2009-07-22T13:08:55Z")
Italian design is very well regarded. But mostly for aesthetic reasons though. Italian engineers = tower of Pisa. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-that-old-joke-about-canada-go/503817/9 "2009-07-22T13:17:14Z")
Oh- _that_ joke. I thought you meant this one: The settlers were sitting around trying to decide what to name the country. They decided they’d put a bunch of letters in a hat and pull them out, and make the letters into a word and that would be the name. So the guy pulls out letters and reads them off: “C, eh.” “N, eh.” “D, eh.” Canada. ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-that-old-joke-about-canada-go/503817/10 "2009-07-22T14:43:17Z")
> [@Mighty\_Girl](#): > > Italian design is very well regarded. But mostly for aesthetic reasons though. > > Italian engineers = tower of Pisa. :rolleyes: Wow. Guess all that other stuff doesn’t matter much. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-that-old-joke-about-canada-go/503817/11 "2009-07-22T14:51:08Z")
> [@Mighty\_Girl](#): > > Italian engineers = tower of Pisa. And, to hear Tom and Ray of _Car Talk_ and others talk about it, the Fiat. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-that-old-joke-about-canada-go/503817/12 "2009-07-22T15:27:32Z")
My favorite Italian-engineering stories involve aviation: [Caproni Ca 60 Transaereo](http://www.flightglobal.com/blogs/aircraft-pictures/CaproniCa_60large.jpg) - A heroically stupid project of 1920 consisting of a huge, windowed, floating gallery with 3 sets of triplane wings and 8 engines. The Ca 60 probably spent less time in the wind tunnel than Leonardo’s pogo-stick-copter. It got about 30 feet in the air and broke in half. _Tadaaaaa!_ [Savoia-Marchetti SM 73](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/e7/SM_S.73.jpg) - A good enough design to serve as both a transport and bomber airframe in the '30s, it was fast, sleek, and dramatically styled. The one drawback was that, occasionally, the wings fell off in midair. Oops… ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-that-old-joke-about-canada-go/503817/13 "2009-07-22T15:52:26Z")
> [@Philster](#): > > :rolleyes: > > Wow. Guess all that other stuff doesn’t matter much. Did you read the rest of the thread? And the question I answered? It’s about stereotype, not reality. Perhaps you should not be so hasty and reply to somebody without reading for context. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-that-old-joke-about-canada-go/503817/14 "2009-07-22T16:06:04Z")
> [@Philster](#): > > :rolleyes: > > Wow. Guess all that other stuff doesn’t matter much. Wow. I guess all the other nationalities and cultures slighted in this thread don’t matter much, either. Hmpf. [/sarcam] ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-that-old-joke-about-canada-go/503817/15 "2009-07-22T16:07:11Z")
In the version I’m familiar with, the engineers in Hell are French, and the administrators are Italian (actually, “it’s run by the Italians”). My contribution:“AmTrak combines the economy and convenience of air travel with the speed and comfort of an intercity bus.” ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-that-old-joke-about-canada-go/503817/16 "2009-07-22T16:29:30Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > “Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm.” -JFK Ironically, that’s true these days. But nowadays that’s a **good** thing in my opinion (if by “North” you mean “the Northeast states”.) The South _seems to be at least_ more productive dollar for dollar because of the relatively low wages, taxes, and regulations, whereas everything in the Northeast is so old that it outcharms most of the South. Now certainly it only seems like they achieve Southern Efficiency because of all the taxes they pour into everything to make it work smoothly, but you can’t deny that in its copious museums and old monuments, it’s much more like a classic Northeast metropolis. ---
**Author:** ![LonesomePolecat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a88e57/32.png) [@LonesomePolecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LonesomePolecat)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-that-old-joke-about-canada-go/503817/17 "2009-07-22T17:12:30Z")
> [@HeyHomie](#): > > Something like: > > Canada _could_ have wound up with French culture, British know-how, and American food. Instead they wound up with French knkow-how, American culture and British food. > > Or something like that. > > Anyone know the actual joke? Ah, the Canadians! They could have had French culture, American know-how and British government. Instead they got French government, American culture and British know-how. ---
**Author:** ![LonesomePolecat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a88e57/32.png) [@LonesomePolecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LonesomePolecat)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-that-old-joke-about-canada-go/503817/18 "2009-07-22T17:15:29Z")
And there’s the old curse: “May you get a British cook, a French mechanic and an American wife.” ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-that-old-joke-about-canada-go/503817/19 "2009-07-22T18:37:35Z")
> [@Bartman](#): > > I’m familiar with a longer version: > “Heaven is where the police are British, the cooks are French, the engineers are German, the administrators are Swiss and the lovers are Italian. Hell is where the police are German, the cooks are British, the engineers are Italian, the administrators are French and the lovers are Swiss.” I’d always liked: In Heaven, the police are British, the cars are German, the cooks are French, and the women are Italian. In Hell, the police are German, the cars are French, the cooks are British, and the women are Italian. ---
**Author:** ![ragerdude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d07c76/32.png) [@ragerdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ragerdude)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2009, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-that-old-joke-about-canada-go/503817/20 "2009-07-22T18:46:10Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > I’d always liked: > In Heaven, the police are British, the cars are German, the cooks are French, and the women are Italian. > In Hell, the police are German, the cars are French, the cooks are British, and the women are Italian. Please explain why the women are Italian in both circumstances. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-that-old-joke-about-canada-go/503817.md?page=2)