# How does the Queen answer the phone?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-the-queen-answer-the-phone/643073
**Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports
**Created:** [December 5, 2012, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-the-queen-answer-the-phone/643073 "2012-12-05T15:22:23Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)
#### Post date: [December 5, 2012, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-the-queen-answer-the-phone/643073/1 "2012-12-05T15:22:23Z")
The Staff Report: [How does the Queen answer the phone? - The Straight Dope](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/3077/how-does-the-queen-answer-the-phone)
The GQ thread that inspired it (discussion of the Staff Report begins at post 77): [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=515170&highlight=queen+phone](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=515170&highlight=queen+phone)
And it looks like the Royal Family has again fallen prey to a phone prank: [http://www.cnn.com/2012/12/05/world/europe/uk-royal-prank-call/index.html?hpt=hp\_t3](http://www.cnn.com/2012/12/05/world/europe/uk-royal-prank-call/index.html?hpt=hp_t3)
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### Author:  [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)
#### Post date: [December 5, 2012, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-the-queen-answer-the-phone/643073/2 "2012-12-05T17:34:19Z")
Apparently she does have a cell phone, Wii, and iPod. I don’t know why, but I find that very comical.
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### Author:  [@damagedgoods](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/damagedgoods)
#### Post date: [December 5, 2012, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-the-queen-answer-the-phone/643073/3 "2012-12-05T18:28:48Z")
Call my wife to find out
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### Author:  [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)
#### Post date: [December 5, 2012, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-the-queen-answer-the-phone/643073/4 "2012-12-05T18:39:12Z")
“Sorry, I’m in the loo, about to flush, I’ll ring you back in a minit.”
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### Author:  [@D-bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D-bear)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2012, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-the-queen-answer-the-phone/643073/5 "2012-12-06T09:34:30Z")
[QUOTE=Her Majesty The Queen]
Oy! Dis is Liz! Ooo’s dat?
[/QUOTE]
would be my first guess. 😛
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### Author:  [@colonial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colonial)
#### Post date: [December 15, 2012, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-the-queen-answer-the-phone/643073/6 "2012-12-15T16:15:59Z")
Hello?
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### Author:  [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)
#### Post date: [December 15, 2012, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-the-queen-answer-the-phone/643073/7 "2012-12-15T21:57:20Z")
In a soaring, cheerful tone:
“The Mountbatten-WINDsor residence. The lady of the house speaking…”
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### Author:  [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)
#### Post date: [December 15, 2012, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-the-queen-answer-the-phone/643073/8 "2012-12-15T21:58:27Z")
> [@DCnDC](#):
>
> Apparently she does have a cell phone, Wii, and iPod. I don’t know why, but I find that very comical.
But they are not amused, I should imagine.
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### Author:  [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)
#### Post date: [December 15, 2012, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-the-queen-answer-the-phone/643073/9 "2012-12-15T22:32:32Z")
> [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](#):
>
> But they are not amused, I should imagine.
Well, one of them, anyway.
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### Author:  [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)
#### Post date: [December 16, 2012, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-the-queen-answer-the-phone/643073/10 "2012-12-16T04:05:20Z")
[Robin Williams/Jon Stewart falsetto]
Hel-OOOOOOO!
[/RW/JSf]
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### Author:  [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)
#### Post date: [December 16, 2012, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-the-queen-answer-the-phone/643073/11 "2012-12-16T23:30:28Z")
just like everyone else; one ear at a time.
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### Author:  [@74westy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/74westy)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2012, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-the-queen-answer-the-phone/643073/12 "2012-12-17T00:01:09Z")
Her Majesty Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of Great Britain, Ireland and the British Dominions beyond the Seas Queen, Defender of the Faith speaking. How may I help you?
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### Author:  [@John\_W.Kennedy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_W.Kennedy)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2012, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-the-queen-answer-the-phone/643073/13 "2012-12-17T01:13:05Z")
Not “Mountbatten-Windsor”; that’s the name reserved for her descendants who are not “Majesties” or “Royal Highnesses”. Technically, she has no last name at all, though she _could_ be called, at need, “Great Britain and Northern Ireland”, I suppose. But it’s rather overloaded.
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### Author:  [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2012, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-the-queen-answer-the-phone/643073/14 "2012-12-17T01:24:43Z")
When visiting Canada, she could just say “Canada here”.
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### Author:  [@colonial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colonial)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2012, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-the-queen-answer-the-phone/643073/15 "2012-12-17T15:46:45Z")
I wonder if she says “goodbye” before she hangs up.
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### Author:  [@John\_W.Kennedy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_W.Kennedy)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2012, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-the-queen-answer-the-phone/643073/16 "2012-12-17T20:14:18Z")
> [@Northern\_Piper](#):
>
> When visiting Canada, she could just say “Canada here”.
Yes, that is my understanding.
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### Author:  [@qazwart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/qazwart)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2012, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-the-queen-answer-the-phone/643073/17 "2012-12-17T21:49:13Z")
_“Why yes, we do have Prince Albert in the can.”_
(Old obsolete joke)
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### Author:  [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2012, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-the-queen-answer-the-phone/643073/18 "2012-12-17T21:57:02Z")
I just hope she’s not too busy to set up her voicemail. I hate reaching generic voicemails.
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### Author:  [@Malden\_Capell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malden_Capell)
#### Post date: [December 18, 2012, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-the-queen-answer-the-phone/643073/19 "2012-12-18T00:12:48Z")
Elizabeth R?
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### Author:  [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)
#### Post date: [December 18, 2012, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-the-queen-answer-the-phone/643073/20 "2012-12-18T00:20:59Z")
Yes, it is we.
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