# How Does This Joke End?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-this-joke-end/298841>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [April 11, 2005, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-this-joke-end/298841 "2005-04-11T19:27:36Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 8\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\
**Post date:** [April 11, 2005, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-this-joke-end/298841/1 "2005-04-11T19:27:36Z")

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I vaguely remember a joke that starts like this:

Two Catholic boys are born on the same day, one in Ireland (Brian O’Callahan) and one in Italy (Mario Tettazani). Both boys enter Catholic grade school the same year and get excellent grades. Everyone remarks that both boys seem bound for the priesthood. Sure enough, both enter seminary and are exemplary seminarians, Brian getting just slightly better grades than Mario. Both then enter the priesthood and work their way through the ranks, with Brian just slightly working his way up faster than Mario. Eventually, it seems clear to Catholic observers that both Brian and Mario would make a good Pope, though Brian has a slight edge, and indeed both names are mentioned going into the next conclave. At the end of the conclave, Mario gets the job.

…I forget what happens next.

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**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\
**Post date:** [April 11, 2005, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-this-joke-end/298841/2 "2005-04-11T19:32:08Z")

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Brain reveals that he and Mario have been lovers for 20 years?

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**Author:** ![lee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lee/32/7455_2.png) [@lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lee)\
**Post date:** [April 11, 2005, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-this-joke-end/298841/3 "2005-04-11T20:02:48Z")

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[This page](http://ted.gnn.tv/B03238) has a similar joke, but the names are different.

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**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\
**Post date:** [April 11, 2005, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-this-joke-end/298841/4 "2005-04-11T20:44:10Z")

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It’s Mario Secola, methinks.

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**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\
**Post date:** [April 11, 2005, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-this-joke-end/298841/5 "2005-04-11T21:05:52Z")

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Um…they chose The Pope by taking a Pole?  
No…wait. That was last time.

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**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\
**Post date:** [April 11, 2005, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-this-joke-end/298841/6 "2005-04-11T21:39:16Z")

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Isn’t the punch line something about Pope Secola? (Pepsi-Cola)

…err, or something like that. I seem to have missed a line, too somewhere.

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**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\
**Post date:** [April 11, 2005, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-this-joke-end/298841/7 "2005-04-11T22:35:25Z")

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> [@FilmGeek](#):
>
> It’s Mario Secola, methinks.

I think that’s the punch line. Never mind the fact that the Pope takes a new name and Catholics wouldn’t be calling him Pope Secola anyway.

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**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\
**Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-does-this-joke-end/298841/8 "2005-04-12T17:45:50Z")

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It was the Pope-Secola joke. I had the names wrong.

Thanks for the help.