# How early should someone lose their virginity? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 31, 2003, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-early-should-someone-lose-their-virginity/192083 "2003-07-31T07:50:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aslan_of_Narnia)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-early-should-someone-lose-their-virginity/192083/1 "2003-07-31T07:50:39Z")
I’m curious as to what people think is the youngest age one should lose their virginity at, with no accounting for age of consent. Assume that the age of consent is whatever age you think is young enough to lose your virginity, I suppose. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-early-should-someone-lose-their-virginity/192083/2 "2003-07-31T07:52:28Z")
No way can I say there’s a number that’s right for everybody. I think 14 is pushing it, but some people do it and are fine. What do I know about other people’s sex lives? ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-early-should-someone-lose-their-virginity/192083/3 "2003-07-31T08:01:35Z")
I think it is when you feel you are ready. Some lose it consentually as early as 13 or 14… some wait until their late 30s and some into their 40s(I have seen cases of virgins in this range). I feel sorry for those virgins who held on to it and didn’t remove the wrapping for so long, but to each their own. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-early-should-someone-lose-their-virginity/192083/4 "2003-07-31T08:23:26Z")
“Childern, there’s a time and a place for everything and it’s called College”-Chef, South Park Chef:“17” Jerald:“If you’re in love, right?” Chef:“No, 17”. He’s contridicting himself a little, but oh well. Personally, I’d say when you feel ready, which includes being with a person you feel comfortable losing it to(as opposed to doing it just so you can shed the “virgin” label). ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-early-should-someone-lose-their-virginity/192083/5 "2003-07-31T09:45:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by HPL \* > [BPersonally, I’d say when you feel ready, which includes being with a person you feel comfortable losing it to(as opposed to doing it just so you can shed the “virgin” label). \*\* But Virgin gave us Paula Abdul, Janet Jackson, and so many other fine artists! ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 10:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-early-should-someone-lose-their-virginity/192083/6 "2003-07-31T10:04:04Z")
6.30 ---
**Author:** ![green\_dragon\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/13edae/32.png) [@green\_dragon\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_dragon_1)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-early-should-someone-lose-their-virginity/192083/7 "2003-07-31T10:56:20Z")
I lost mine at 15…the girls I’ve been with lost it at 14, 17 and 14. The right time to lose it is when you’re losing it because it feels _right_…the attitude of ‘shedding the virgin label’ is so incredibly wrong…sex is about sharing something with someone you at least care about, and if it feels right, do it…if not, then don’t. I do think that anything below 14 is too young though. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-early-should-someone-lose-their-virginity/192083/8 "2003-07-31T12:08:07Z")
When one is ready. When one understands pregnancy and STD risks and how to best defend against them. When one’s partner is ready. When one and his\* partner are in a deep commited relationship and wish to express it physically. That’s my humble opinion. Not that I’m sticking my nose up in the air at the people who lose it during a fling. As long as they use protection, whatever, but that’s not me. ---
**Author:** ![Aries28](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Aries28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aries28)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-early-should-someone-lose-their-virginity/192083/9 "2003-07-31T12:36:24Z")
I lost mine at 18 and was not ready at all. Wish I had waited a little longer. My whole experience gave me a very negative attitude about sex that lasted for about 5 years afterwards. My $0.02, wait until it is with someone you actually love and have feelings for and not just to “get it over with…” ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-early-should-someone-lose-their-virginity/192083/10 "2003-07-31T12:50:14Z")
I think it’s best to wait a signifigant period of time (say, a year) after you start to really want to. It takes at least this long to get to the point where you are really confident that you **can** live without sex if you don’t like any of the options that are avalible. People that know this are at a serious advantange in life over people who don’t. I think it’s best to wait until possible pregnancy goes from “oh shit this is the end of the world I want to kill myself what am I going to tell my mom?” to “Oh lordy, oh lordy, oh lordy. This is bad timing. What am I going to do?” And I, myself, would never feel sorry for someone else because freely made choices that happened to be differnet from mine. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-early-should-someone-lose-their-virginity/192083/11 "2003-07-31T14:04:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Manda JO \* > \*\*I think it’s best to wait a signifigant period of time (say, a year) after you start to really want to. \*\* A year? _ **A YEAR???** _ :eek: _Mal, gibbering insanely, is removed by two strong men with a strait-jacket_ ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-early-should-someone-lose-their-virginity/192083/12 "2003-07-31T19:10:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Malacandra \* > \*\*A year? _ **A YEAR???** _ :eek: > > _Mal, gibbering insanely, is removed by two strong men with a strait-jacket_ \*\* _wonders what would happen to Mal if he had to read the entire US tax code_ ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-early-should-someone-lose-their-virginity/192083/13 "2003-07-31T19:13:39Z")
The right age for one to lose their virginity is when they realize that losing their virginity is not important. ---
**Author:** ![FatBaldGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@FatBaldGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FatBaldGuy)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-early-should-someone-lose-their-virginity/192083/14 "2003-07-31T19:14:58Z")
The night of your wedding. ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-early-should-someone-lose-their-virginity/192083/15 "2003-07-31T19:33:29Z")
Once again, Manda JO delivers an excellent opinion. ---
**Author:** ![kputt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f475e1/32.png) [@kputt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kputt)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-early-should-someone-lose-their-virginity/192083/16 "2003-07-31T19:46:49Z")
Not before they get married. ---
**Author:** ![greck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ab992/32.png) [@greck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/greck)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-early-should-someone-lose-their-virginity/192083/17 "2003-07-31T20:09:51Z")
definitely by 10:00 pm, that way you can go back to the party and brag. ---
**Author:** ![greck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ab992/32.png) [@greck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/greck)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-early-should-someone-lose-their-virginity/192083/18 "2003-07-31T20:13:27Z")
definitely by 10:00 pm, that way you can go back to the party and brag. but seriously, I think it’s more of a maturity thing. People should lose their virginity when they’re mature enough to accept the intensity inherent to a carnal relationship lasting 2 pumps. ---
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-early-should-someone-lose-their-virginity/192083/19 "2003-07-31T20:23:49Z")
When you personally are able to emotionally and financially handle the responsibilities and problems that come along with engaging in sex, such as using effective birth control, getting regular sexual health care, and even coping with STIs and unwanted pregnancies. To my mind, that means that you should not be having sex until you can afford to pay for the cost of any abortions/pregnancies/raising of children that might result. ---
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-early-should-someone-lose-their-virginity/192083/20 "2003-07-31T20:29:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mockingbird \* > **some wait until their late 30s and some into their 40s(I have seen cases of virgins in this range).** You make them sound like specimens with a rare and curious illness. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-early-should-someone-lose-their-virginity/192083.md?page=2)