How Effective are Parental Computer Controls?

Computer tech here, with twin 13 year old boys.

I dont filter anything, they know the rules, and I have the ability to monitor the machines much like an employer does. They probably suspect the monitoring, but dont know how to defeat it. They have tested the water and been burned, they would much rather have a porn free life than lose internet priveledges for a month. I only check occasionally now, they play nice.

They could get around it with live CD’s but that would not sidestep the router logs and unlike many parents I will be suspicious if the color schemes and or window structures do not look right from a distance.

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14 year old boys are porn-seeking Terminators. And do you really, really want to know what porn they are seeking?

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I have to disagree here. From what I remember of being a 14 year old while me and my friends did look for porn it was not as if 99% of our time online was spent on it. We used it for many many other things as well. School work. Sports sites. When I turned 14, I developed a huge interest in religions (not becoming religious, I still am not), but religion and history as such. If you had seen my history in those days you would have been convinced that I was a Rabbi/Priest/Buddhist Monk/New Age pagan. Another friend used the net to learn about architecture and the history of art. A third one spent most of his time looking for gardening tips.

It is difficult for a 14 year old to masturbate more than five times a day, so yes, some time is spent looking for other stuff.

Are you like…80? You do not remember what it was like to be 14, except being horny?

I suspect this is one for Great Debates, but the question has to be asked:

Why?

What are you accomplishing?

Is the goal to improve their imagination by depriving them of visual masturbation fodder? Would you prefer they read written erotica? Would you prefer they steal magazines from the Quick-E-Mart?

If they are looking for things to jerk off to, and as you have discovered they are looking at porn, they are indeed looking for things to jerk off to. Are you trying to stop them from jerking off? Sorry, but that is frankly cruel.

I’m 51 and am down to once a day. I remember, at that age, jerking off so much that I rubbed a sore onto my penis. Nothing itches more than a scab on your dick.

Like alot of things on the internet…context. Porn is full of unhealthy and inappropriate examples of behaviors that without some kind of point of reference can lead to some rather odd perceptions of sexuality. What turns our crank vs. what we think others want from a sexual relationship should be based on communication between those involved, not based on the content of a random porn site.

If you can convince their mother that we should be watching porn as a family and discussing it, you are a more eloquent person than I.

What’s that line from Saturday Night Live in the 70’s - "And now, here’s a message for all you parents whose kids don’t do drugs… ’ Boy are you stupid!’ "

It’s only a matter of time before they figure out some way around it all. I guess the real question for the OP is “How effective are parents?” The answer is, they come in all flavours. (no pun intended).

I remember when the head office first implemented a content filter policy. The summer student we had showed me how he could connect to his home computer running as a proxy to get to any site he wanted to.

Mind you, this was the fellow who also had to sign a thick contract with Playboy Enterprises, promising to behave and never resell their copyright images, after he and his friend were tracked down by the lawyers for selling scanned and downloaded porn on CD’s when they were in high school. Apparently they were advertising in some fairly widely circulated magazines back in the day. Ah, the days of dial-up…

If you need porn to jack off, I’d actually think you need to go see a psychiatrist. That’s not natural.

Here’s a post I did a couple years ago describing my set-up. My son, then eight and now ten, has a computer in his own room.

The only update now is that his WAP is running WPA2 now because he has a 3DS, which is WPA-capable. He has a Nook and an iPod Touch, but only access to his WiFi, not the general household one.

Couldn’t kids now just get prepaid 3G internet?

If they’re willing to pay for it. You’ve got to buy the air card and then pay for the internet too…Virgin Mobile is pretty cheap, though.

Of course, the admin on the computer could then restrict the ability to install new hardware, which would stop the installation of the air card.

And it goes on and on.

You could use almost any 3G phone now. Some even tether over wifi so you don’t need to install anything. And I don’t think the plan costs more than $30