# How embarrassed should I be about my hobby? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 15, 2014, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-embarrassed-should-i-be-about-my-hobby/707284 "2014-12-15T14:19:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2014, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-embarrassed-should-i-be-about-my-hobby/707284/221 "2014-12-24T12:45:40Z")
An addendum: “I’ve… I’ve been really depressed lately. I’ve been fantasizing about killing myself” “Don’t worry about it. I used to fantasize about going to the gym. I never did it, though. You’ll be fine” ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2014, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-embarrassed-should-i-be-about-my-hobby/707284/222 "2014-12-24T14:00:41Z")
> [@armedmonkey](#): > > If the recurrent thought is “I should join a gym” then who cares? However, if the recurrent thought is “I should rape a child”, then see a psychiatrist because that is not a good though to be having. This is a straw man, no? Or did I miss something about **BPC** fantasizing about children? ---
**Author:** ![Asympotically\_fat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e47c2d/32.png) [@Asympotically\_fat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asympotically_fat)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2014, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-embarrassed-should-i-be-about-my-hobby/707284/223 "2014-12-24T14:15:43Z")
Yes you should be embarrassed by your hobby. That is what is wrong with the World today: people have no shame. I put forward that if bronies or furries are not freaks then the word “freak” is entirely devoid of meaning. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2014, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-embarrassed-should-i-be-about-my-hobby/707284/224 "2014-12-24T14:29:06Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > This is a straw man, no? Or did I miss something about **BPC** fantasizing about children? Yes, you missed quite a bit. Specifically a whole parallel conversation that has nothing to do with **BPC**. Just reread the post I was responding to. Specifically the part where she quotes **Miller**. And how many times do I have to say that I don’t think **BPC** is writing child porn!? I have stated that in _at least_ three separate posts besides this one. I’m sick of repeating myself and I am sick of people insinuating I said something I didn’t. Reading comprehension, people. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2014, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-embarrassed-should-i-be-about-my-hobby/707284/225 "2014-12-24T14:32:18Z")
As mentioned before: The thread is now running TWO debates: (A) the one about BPC and his clopfic and whether he should keep it on the down low, and (B) a separate more general-case one, whether \* “thougths and imaginary fiction are no problem as long as it remains imaginary and no real person gets hurt”\* is or is not a valid position to go by. The referenced post is about the (B) debate: > [@armedmonkey](#): > > If the recurrent thought is “I should join a gym” then who cares? However, if the recurrent thought is “I should rape a child”, then see a psychiatrist because that is not a good though to be having. That’s what psychiatrists are for. There is a whole profession whose specialty is dealing with this stuff… The position of “it’s just a thought so what are you going to do?” is just dumb. Tell that to somebody struggling with OCD or suicidal ideation and see if they share the same opinion that all thoughts are O.K. True, absolutely. And as you said yourself, a line has to be drawn somewhere. Clearly on one side is a casual passing thought of “I need to work out more” (=innocuous) and clearly on the other is a recurring obsessive thought of “it would be hot to get it on with a fourth-grader”:eek::mad: (=get help fast). The debates are where the lines are drawn in the middle range regarding both thoughts and expressions thereof and I suspect we’re not going to solve them here. The (A) theme of the OP arises as to what about thoughts of “what if Pinkiepie and Fluttershy were more than just good friends”, and particularly what about expressing those thoughts in print/art/e-format. For some of us the reaction is “Meh, whatever :dubious:” to the content but we’d advise caution with putting it out on social media since heck yeah, it WILL cause embarassment, it is not socially accepted. And that’s a debatable position. I happen to lean more in the “as long as nobody’s really hurt” side but I am under no illusion that’s a truth we hold self-evident. Yet at the opposite end you have seen some people posting to the effect that they suspect “bronyism” (is that a word?) is _by itself_ a warning sign of or risk factor for deviant intent. Which also answers the OP question, in a way… ---
**Author:** ![Asympotically\_fat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e47c2d/32.png) [@Asympotically\_fat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asympotically_fat)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2014, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-embarrassed-should-i-be-about-my-hobby/707284/226 "2014-12-24T14:36:15Z")
Well plenty of outwardly normal people are in fact sexual deviants. That said presented with a normal person and a brony and asked which one was a sexual deviant, I know where I’d put my money. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2014, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-embarrassed-should-i-be-about-my-hobby/707284/227 "2014-12-24T14:45:02Z")
Missed edit window: > [@JRDelirious](#): > > (B) a separate more general-case one, whether \* “thougths and imaginary fiction are no problem as long as it remains imaginary and no real person gets hurt”\* is or is not a valid position to go by. > > The referenced post is about the (B) debate: > True, absolutely. > > And as you said yourself, a line has to be drawn somewhere. Clearly on one side is a casual passing thought of “I need to work out more” (=innocuous) and clearly on the other is a recurring obsessive thought of “it would be hot to get it on with a fourth-grader”:eek::mad: (=get help fast). Or even to defuse it from the incendiary subject matter and go back to your previous post: there’s a difference between incidentally thinking “What a prick my boss is” or “Damn all these bills” and a recurring compulsive thought of killing him or yourself or posting extended revenge-fantasy manifestos about your life circumstances. Thoughts do not compel actions but it would be foolish to say they never influence them. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2014, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-embarrassed-should-i-be-about-my-hobby/707284/228 "2014-12-24T14:47:33Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > This is a straw man, no? Or did I miss something about **BPC** fantasizing about children? You missed the fact that they are off on a long tangent about whether thoughts can ever be bad. Nothing to dowith the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2014, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-embarrassed-should-i-be-about-my-hobby/707284/229 "2014-12-24T16:41:51Z")
> [@armedmonkey](#): > > Yes, you missed quite a bit. Specifically a whole parallel conversation that has nothing to do with **BPC**. Just reread the post I was responding to. Specifically the part where she quotes **Miller**. And how many times do I have to say that I don’t think **BPC** is writing child porn!? I have stated that in _at least_ three separate posts besides this one. I’m sick of repeating myself and I am sick of people insinuating I said something I didn’t. > > Reading comprehension, people. Sorry. That’s what I get for following a thread half-assed. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2014, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-embarrassed-should-i-be-about-my-hobby/707284/230 "2014-12-24T17:14:17Z")
> [@Asympotically\_fat](#): > > Well plenty of outwardly normal people are in fact sexual deviants. Indeed. Some people have concerns about ejaculating during prostate exams. But the other thing is, too, lots of sexual deviance is just fine with a whole lot of society, as long as you’re not overly sharing when not appropriate. I’d rather take my chances with an outwardly normal person who had some undisclosed fetish than with a person who shared they wrote sprinkle pony rainbow fairy porn during a casual conversation. ---
**Author:** ![Kron](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kron/32/12444_2.png) [@Kron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kron)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2014, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-embarrassed-should-i-be-about-my-hobby/707284/231 "2014-12-24T17:32:08Z")
I thought about this some more, and I would like to clarify my position. I have no problem with people of ANY age that watch any form of media (I’m simplifying, as obviously people that watch reality TV have “issues” ;)). I don’t care if you are 55 and enjoy watching Pokemon, or MLP:FIM, or Spongebob Squarepants, they can all be appealing to different people for lots of reasons. I just find the culture of young adult males openly embracing the show, wearing T-shirts, etc., to be rather disturbing. It is almost like a movement started with the intent to be “ironic”, but for some reason nearly immediately lost any sense of irony. Adding to that a disturbing “look at what a crazy outsider I am!” mentality when it comes to the number of erotic fanfic producers out there (that are relatively open about it), the whole “brony” culture is just off-putting. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2014, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-embarrassed-should-i-be-about-my-hobby/707284/232 "2014-12-24T18:26:22Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > [This one is my favorite.](http://www.toplessrobot.com/2010/01/fan_fiction_friday_wolverine_cyclops_and_jean_grey.php) > > I’m not even going to quote any bits from it because I don’t want to ruin it for anyone. The first time I read it, I laughed so hard I hurt myself. Well, that was - something. I’m not sure if I should hope **BPC** ’s work is like that, or that it is better, or that it is worse. So I will merely wish one and all Merry Christmas, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Teuton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/teuton/32/3864_2.png) [@Teuton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teuton)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2014, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-embarrassed-should-i-be-about-my-hobby/707284/233 "2014-12-24T19:32:01Z")
> [@VoluntaryFireman](#): > > I just find the culture of young adult males openly embracing the show, wearing T-shirts, etc., to be rather disturbing. It is almost like a movement started with the intent to be “ironic”, but for some reason nearly immediately lost any sense of irony. It really didn’t, the ‘movement’, such at it is, started because it’s a show that people found worth watching. It it really so surprising that a show aim at girls can appeal to others? We’re all humans. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2014, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-embarrassed-should-i-be-about-my-hobby/707284/234 "2014-12-24T20:21:55Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > [This one is my favorite.](http://www.toplessrobot.com/2010/01/fan_fiction_friday_wolverine_cyclops_and_jean_grey.php) > > I’m not even going to quote any bits from it because I don’t want to ruin it for anyone. The first time I read it, I laughed so hard I hurt myself. That… was magic. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2014, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-embarrassed-should-i-be-about-my-hobby/707284/235 "2014-12-24T23:28:20Z")
> [@Asympotically\_fat](#): > > Yes you should be embarrassed by your hobby. That is what is wrong with the World today: people have no shame. > > I put forward that if bronies or furries are not freaks then the word “freak” is entirely devoid of meaning. Are we using “brony” to mean someone who fantasies about the ponies sexually/etc.? Or just someone who likes the show? Because “freak” seems harsh for the latter. I freely admit, I think the show is awesome (though I liked it more in early seasons than now). Liking something that happens to be for kids doesn’t seem like a huge deal to me. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2014, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-embarrassed-should-i-be-about-my-hobby/707284/236 "2014-12-25T00:06:44Z")
> [@Asympotically\_fat](#): > > Well plenty of outwardly normal people are in fact sexual deviants. That said presented with a normal person and a brony and asked which one was a sexual deviant, I know where I’d put my money. [Here’s](http://www.sexual-offender-treatment.org/index.php?id=94&type=123) some actual academic research on sexual fantasizing and its relationship to sexual crimes. It turns out that there isn’t such an easy link because so many non-sex criminals have potentially disturbing fantasies. There isn’t a clear progression or implication that having deviant fantasies causes sexual crimes. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2014, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-embarrassed-should-i-be-about-my-hobby/707284/237 "2014-12-25T00:08:28Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Are we using “brony” to mean someone who fantasies about the ponies sexually/etc.? Or just someone who likes the show? Because “freak” seems harsh for the latter. I freely admit, I think the show is awesome (though I liked it more in early seasons than now). Liking something that happens to be for kids doesn’t seem like a huge deal to me. Brony. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2014, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-embarrassed-should-i-be-about-my-hobby/707284/238 "2014-12-25T00:12:12Z")
It is nothing if an adult enjoys eating a bowl of Spaghetti-Os. It is still no big deal if, in private, an adult pulls his pud over a bowl of Spaghetti-Os. That adult wanting to publicly share his fondness for lizard milking over a product aimed primarily at kids is oogie. Certainly it is his right to do these thimgs. He has no right to my approval. WRT the side debate: I worked enough as LE and in residential treatment with sex offenders that I can tell you that people who did some truly reprehensible things thought about it a lot, often masturbating over the ideas, before they committed the acts. They then thought about it a lot afterwards and frequently masturbated over the memories. I am not at all willing to commit to the idea that thoughts are harmless. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2014, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-embarrassed-should-i-be-about-my-hobby/707284/239 "2014-12-25T01:13:11Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > That… was magic. 😕😕😕 :eek::eek::eek: :smack::smack::smack: 'Nuff. Said. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Asympotically\_fat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e47c2d/32.png) [@Asympotically\_fat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asympotically_fat)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2014, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-embarrassed-should-i-be-about-my-hobby/707284/240 "2014-12-25T02:38:33Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Are we using “brony” to mean someone who fantasies about the ponies sexually/etc.? Or just someone who likes the show? Because “freak” seems harsh for the latter. I freely admit, I think the show is awesome (though I liked it more in early seasons than now). Liking something that happens to be for kids doesn’t seem like a huge deal to me. I look over to my DVD collection and see I have Ulysses 31, which I bought because it was my favourite TV show when I was 5, but I enjoyed re-watching in my twenties. I also have a few Studio Ghibli films made for kids which I bought in my twenties (I bought all these DVDs a few years ago) when everyone was raving about them and enjoyed watching them at the time. So simply liking a kids TV show I certainly can I understand - there are a few very well made kids shows/films that can appeal to adults too. That said after reading about bronies my mind boogled and I took a look on YouTube to see what was obsessing them and the show is the same dross that I remember from the eighties designed to sell plastic toys to little girls (I had a twin sister who loved MLP almost as much as loved He-Man, so I am not new to adventures of the brightly-coloured equines), slightly more sophisticated maybe but still basically the same dross. Therefore I would say liking the show would merely mark you as an oddball who needs to be watched in case their eccentric tendencies develop into something more sinister. Bronism goes beyond merely liking the show into a weird little subculture and if you have to ask if you’re a brony then that’s probably your answer right there (i.e. no you’re not…unless you in fact are). And I challenge anyone to take a look at the bronies and not come away with the feeling that something deeply unsavoury is going on. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-embarrassed-should-i-be-about-my-hobby/707284.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-embarrassed-should-i-be-about-my-hobby/707284.md?page=13)