# How handy would you be in a fight? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 25, 2007, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-handy-would-you-be-in-a-fight/424004 "2007-10-25T18:20:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2007, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-handy-would-you-be-in-a-fight/424004/101 "2007-11-05T18:50:03Z")
Well at 65 I’d be absolutely bloody useless unless I could get in a swift blow with my zimmer frame. Only ever had 2 fights in my life and won 'em both ::insert smug smile here:: 1. Kid at school took to bullying me, I waited and one day smacked him full in the chops with a tree branch. He left me alone after that, so did others. 2. Guy in a pub groped my wifes arse, I belted him with a small wooden barstool, he went down, I got taken to court, my brief got me off scot free. Yep, include me in with the dirty fighters. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2007, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-handy-would-you-be-in-a-fight/424004/102 "2007-11-05T19:47:14Z")
Hmmm… While I’ve only been in one real ‘fight’ (got sucker punched and fell down, but was fine), I do have several years of training in shotokan karate. Basic strikes, blocks, holds, etc etc. I also get quite crazy when I’m angry and the adrenaline is pumping, although I’ve never had a chance to use this in a fight. I spar regularly in karate and I can hold my own, but honestly that’s so different from a bar fight it’s not even funny. So, in summary I would be ok, but nothing special. Maybe if I start training like **pravnik** … (seriously, I’m impressed!) ---
**Author:** ![Shecky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/85e7bf/32.png) [@Shecky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shecky)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2007, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-handy-would-you-be-in-a-fight/424004/103 "2007-11-06T13:31:56Z")
I’m pretty good at throwing people around and have enough high-school wrestling experience to know how to grapple. As for causing damage with my own fists, I’d be useless. To borrow from _So I Married an Axe Murderer_, I practice the Gaelic martial art of FUKYU! It mostly involves headbutting and kicking them while they’re down. ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2007, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-handy-would-you-be-in-a-fight/424004/104 "2007-11-07T12:52:42Z")
Am I allowed to get my dad to beat them up? Is begging for mercy an option? ---
**Author:** ![Arabella\_Flynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8491ac/32.png) [@Arabella\_Flynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arabella_Flynn)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2007, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-handy-would-you-be-in-a-fight/424004/105 "2007-11-07T23:19:59Z")
I imagine I’d be okay. Not great, but not completely useless either. I’m a small young adult female, in decent shape. Girls, especially small girls, tend to be taught very young that the world is a very scary place, and people are out to get them. Corner one, and you have probably just cornered someone whose street-fighting style could be compared to that of a house cat on PCP. Small terrified girls eye-gouge, claw, bite, kick and stomp anything they can reach. On the other hand, because I’m a small girl, I think I would have to try fairly hard to start a fight between me and some guy, even in the sorts of places where fighting is common. As was mentioned above, most guys of the habitual bar-fighting variety won’t hit girls, even if the girl in question is trying to maim and/or neuter him. If he fought me and hurt me, his friends would beat the snot out of him for hitting a woman, and if he fought me and _lost_, his friends would beat the snot out of him for losing to a girl. A much more likely scenario is that someone would pick a fight with the guy(s) I was with, ‘on my behalf’, as it were. In that case, if someone were getting really stomped, I would probably do the stupid thing and try to sucker punch someone, swing a stool, or otherwise distract the attackers as much as I could. When a 5’2" woman jumps on you from behind, loops a forearm around your neck, and yanks backwards while kicking one of your knees, it is surprisingly effective at landing you on the floor. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-handy-would-you-be-in-a-fight/424004.md?page=5)