# How hard can I hit some-one in the face with a trout without killing them? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 16, 2007, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-can-i-hit-some-one-in-the-face-with-a-trout-without-killing-them/396127 "2007-03-16T01:51:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2007, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-can-i-hit-some-one-in-the-face-with-a-trout-without-killing-them/396127/61 "2007-03-18T23:25:34Z")
Getting back to the OP for a moment, I think you can find the answer [here](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhJQp-q1Y1s). ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2007, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-can-i-hit-some-one-in-the-face-with-a-trout-without-killing-them/396127/62 "2007-03-19T00:52:58Z")
[QUOTE=Mindfield] “What? It’s just a fish wound.” [/QUOTE] You are a God. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2007, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-can-i-hit-some-one-in-the-face-with-a-trout-without-killing-them/396127/63 "2007-03-19T02:29:15Z")
A 10 kg trout swung at 5 m/s… sounds like a hypothesis to me! Any volunteers? ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2007, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-can-i-hit-some-one-in-the-face-with-a-trout-without-killing-them/396127/64 "2007-03-19T15:19:38Z")
[QUOTE=Cartooniverse] You are a God. 😃 [/QUOTE] Oh, stop. _Demi-god_ maybe. 🙂 [QUOTE=Autolycus] A 10 kg trout swung at 5 m/s… sounds like a hypothesis to me! Any volunteers? [/quote] Hold still. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2007, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-can-i-hit-some-one-in-the-face-with-a-trout-without-killing-them/396127/65 "2007-03-19T17:09:32Z")
[QUOTE=dawson] On behalf of all fishmongers I have to say: Fish don’t kill people, people kill people. Stop the fishmonger hatemongering! [/QUOTE] Tell that to Steve Irwin. “Salmon enchanted evening” ---
**Author:** ![Ferd\_Burfel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecccb3/32.png) [@Ferd\_Burfel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferd_Burfel)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2007, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-can-i-hit-some-one-in-the-face-with-a-trout-without-killing-them/396127/66 "2007-03-19T21:49:02Z")
[QUOTE=Q.E.D.] Which species? [/QUOTE] 😕 homo sapiens? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-can-i-hit-some-one-in-the-face-with-a-trout-without-killing-them/396127/67 "2007-03-20T03:31:21Z")
> [@](#): > > by **Autolycus** > How hard can I hit some-one in the **face** with a trout without killing them? > [@](#): > > by \*\*Wile E \*\* > Would the receiver of the fish-slap be allowed some protection, such as a Cod-piece? And just where do you wear _your_ codpieces? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-can-i-hit-some-one-in-the-face-with-a-trout-without-killing-them/396127/68 "2007-03-20T07:24:59Z")
[QUOTE=mbh] And just where do you wear _your_ codpieces? :eek: [/QUOTE] On his face obviously. To protect his eye_balls_ ---
**Author:** ![Mbossa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@Mbossa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mbossa)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2007, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-can-i-hit-some-one-in-the-face-with-a-trout-without-killing-them/396127/69 "2007-03-20T08:17:25Z")
[QUOTE=Ferd Burfel] 😕 homo sapiens? 😕 [/QUOTE] **slaps Ferd Burfel around a bit with a wet Homo sapiens** ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-can-i-hit-some-one-in-the-face-with-a-trout-without-killing-them/396127/70 "2007-03-21T23:33:58Z")
Mindfield, I think I’m in love. That was bloody marvelous. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2007, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-can-i-hit-some-one-in-the-face-with-a-trout-without-killing-them/396127/71 "2007-03-21T23:55:24Z")
Quoth **What Exit?** : > [@](#): > > We know thieves rarely develop a high strength but do require a very high dexterity. We have to assume as a thief he will have little combat skill and probably attempt to back stab someone with said trout. Hmm, good point. As of the third edition rules, the extra damage done by a rogue’s sneak attack doesn’t depend on the weapon, but only on the rogue’s level. So a sufficiently high-level rogue, even with no strength bonus, could do up to 10d6+1d2 damage with a trout. Except I think that wet trouts probably normally deal subdual damage, not deadly, so the rogue would have to accept a -4 penalty to hit if he wanted to kill. And the text-adventure snippet clearly had at least some influence from Zork, as evidenced by the grue which is likely to eat the adventurer. He should have gotten [one of these](http://www.rci.rutgers.edu/~crebb/CREBB%20Pictures/CREBB%20Web%20Photo%20Album/pages/GlowingFish_jpg.htm) from the aquarium in the living room. ---
**Author:** ![Saltire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saltire/32/553_2.png) [@Saltire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saltire)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-can-i-hit-some-one-in-the-face-with-a-trout-without-killing-them/396127/72 "2007-03-22T00:16:54Z")
[QUOTE=Chronos] And the text-adventure snippet clearly had at least some influence from Zork, as evidenced by the grue which is likely to eat the adventurer. He should have gotten [one of these](http://www.rci.rutgers.edu/~crebb/CREBB%20Pictures/CREBB%20Web%20Photo%20Album/pages/GlowingFish_jpg.htm) from the aquarium in the living room. [/QUOTE] There were grues in Wishbringer, as well. Infocom used them as a semi-generic monster. Their games were quite gruesome. ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-can-i-hit-some-one-in-the-face-with-a-trout-without-killing-them/396127/73 "2007-03-22T00:27:17Z")
[QUOTE=Mindfield] **robardin** - Who needs 'im? There’s a swordfish later in the game that you can use to pick the lock. [/QUOTE] True, but though you may acquire the tool, you lack the expertise. Picking open the chest in such away still damages the jewel encrusted clockwork lure, which will only catch the golden bass if it is attached to your fishing pole’s line and wound before you cast. The damage you do by opening the box in such a manner prevents the lure from being wound. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-can-i-hit-some-one-in-the-face-with-a-trout-without-killing-them/396127/74 "2007-03-22T03:13:59Z")
I’m not prepared to pursue my line of inquiry any longer, as I think this is getting too silly. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-can-i-hit-some-one-in-the-face-with-a-trout-without-killing-them/396127/75 "2007-03-22T04:02:00Z")
[QUOTE=Saltire] There were grues in Wishbringer, as well. Infocom used them as a semi-generic monster. Their games were quite gruesome. [/QUOTE] [Grues](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grue_%28monster%29) were featured in most of the Infocom games. They’d sort of become an out-joke among the game developers. > [@Hoopy Frood](#): > > True, but though you may acquire the tool, you lack the expertise. Picking open the chest in such away still damages the jewel encrusted clockwork lure, which will only catch the golden bass if it is attached to your fishing pole’s line and wound before you cast. The damage you do by opening the box in such a manner prevents the lure from being wound. Apparently you haven’t been to see Edna the Frump. She’s an expert in deftly picking locks with swordfish, and will teach you to open the chest without damage in exchange for a hat made from the sock lint of the Ravenous Dodecapedal Megabunny and a half-eaten stick of peppermint chewing gum. Lacking the knitting skills yourself, you’ll have to pay a visit to The Yodeling Tailor of Buxton-Upon-Twill, who will gladly do the work for you while wailing a startling rendition of Run DMC’s _Mary Mary_ in exchange for James Last’s phone number, which you will find in the men’s bathroom at The Wobbly Badger. > [@Anaamika](#): > > Mindfield, I think I’m in love. That was bloody marvelous. Why thank you m’dear. Give me a tingly feeling in my codpiece, that does. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-can-i-hit-some-one-in-the-face-with-a-trout-without-killing-them/396127/76 "2007-03-22T04:14:23Z")
Hey! What’s all this gaming talk? What happened to all the hot fish-slapping action? ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-can-i-hit-some-one-in-the-face-with-a-trout-without-killing-them/396127/77 "2007-03-22T04:17:38Z")
[QUOTE=Wile E] Hey! What’s all this gaming talk? What happened to all the hot fish-slapping action? [/QUOTE] Fish always get gamy after a few days. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-can-i-hit-some-one-in-the-face-with-a-trout-without-killing-them/396127/78 "2007-03-22T04:17:43Z")
[QUOTE=Wile E] Hey! What’s all this gaming talk? What happened to all the hot fish-slapping action? [/QUOTE] _Mindfield slaps Wile E in the face with a hot, sexy, very naughty trout_ ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-can-i-hit-some-one-in-the-face-with-a-trout-without-killing-them/396127/79 "2007-03-22T07:38:40Z")
We made Threadspotting? Now that’s fishy if you ask me. [QUOTE=Mindfield] _Mindfield slaps Wile E in the face with a hot, sexy, very naughty trout_ [/QUOTE] Oh oh, me next! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-can-i-hit-some-one-in-the-face-with-a-trout-without-killing-them/396127/80 "2007-03-22T11:41:30Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] We made Threadspotting? Now that’s fishy if you ask me. [/quote] Yeah, but **Tuba** apparently didn’t like my suggested tag: “Take that, fish-face!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-can-i-hit-some-one-in-the-face-with-a-trout-without-killing-them/396127.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-can-i-hit-some-one-in-the-face-with-a-trout-without-killing-them/396127.md?page=5)