# How hard should I be allowed to hit this guy? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 1, 2015, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693 "2015-08-01T00:12:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2015, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/61 "2015-08-01T04:35:37Z")
well you broke the first rule…what did you expect? ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2015, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/62 "2015-08-01T05:40:12Z")
> [@Darth\_Panda](#): > > …Me and Jordan left… > [@Darth\_Panda](#): > > …When me, Jordan, and Brett decided to leave a bar we were at… I’d never hire a lawyer who spoke like this. ---
**Author:** ![Waymore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Waymore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waymore)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2015, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/63 "2015-08-01T06:03:17Z")
I can only hope Jordan nursed DP back to health after Brett messed him up. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2015, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/64 "2015-08-01T06:12:34Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > I think I have detected the problem. > > This man is not your friend. I think you’re probably right, and in more than just the obvious way. We’ve known each other for around half of a year and hung out a few dozen times. Most of the time when we hang out, we’re around mutual friends, but not always. I acted in a way that each of us would act with act with our mutual friends, but I totally misjudged him and whatever relationship we have. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2015, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/65 "2015-08-01T06:20:08Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Ok, so let’s get this all straight. You assaulted some guy without the least provocation and he responded in kind. No, I hit a guy that I thought was my friend in a way that friends hit each when they’ve been drinking and are messing around. He responded in manner that was really disproportionate and not friendly at all… > [@TriPolar](#): > > The result of this was you left in a sniveling heap on the floor. No, I didn’t fall over. It hurt, but didn’t do any damage other than a little blood inside of my gums. > [@TriPolar](#): > > Then, realizing that you are weak and ineffectual you feel like you must somehow restore your potency by assaulting him again, this time with more zeal, I guess so he’ll beat you more mercilessly the next time. No, the chances of me hitting him again are almost zero. There’s way too much downside and it probably isn’t justified. > [@TriPolar](#): > > Yet you actually hope you’ll all just be friends because you are seriously afraid of him and your shadow now. No, I think we will based on what our mutual friend said - that this kind of stuff happens with him quite a bit. If not, it doesn’t really matter. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2015, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/66 "2015-08-01T06:30:20Z")
I have to ask how old are you? You make a crack about a poster’s mother in response to criticism and adults don’t really go around punching each other. ---
**Author:** ![Waymore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Waymore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waymore)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2015, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/67 "2015-08-01T06:36:55Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > I have to ask how old are you? You make a crack about a poster’s mother in response to criticism and adults don’t really go around punching each other. I think he has his permit. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2015, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/68 "2015-08-01T06:37:36Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > I have to ask how old are you? You make a crack about a poster’s mother in response to criticism and adults don’t really go around punching each other. I’m in my 30s. Lots of people have criticized me in this thread (and it’s starting to seem more and more justified the more sober I become), and I’ve tried to respond to all of them reasonably. One person annoyed me and I didn’t feel that he needed to taken seriously, so I blew him off with a stupid mom joke. eta: I disagree in part with your statement that adults don’t go around punching each other. When it’s friendly and light, it’s reasonably common in some circles. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2015, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/69 "2015-08-01T06:48:17Z")
Yeah, no. This might be a sign that it’s time to start growing up. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2015, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/70 "2015-08-01T06:52:08Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > Yeah, no. This might be a sign that it’s time to start growing up. That’s fair, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it. eta: I’m not kidding. I recognize that I still act like I’m in my twenties in my social life. I guess I’d like to keep it like that in some ways, but I suppose it isn’t really realistic. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2015, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/71 "2015-08-01T07:15:35Z")
> [@Darth\_Panda](#): > > I can appreciate your point of view, but I still think most readers aren’t comprehending the difference here, and how some groups of guys interact. I don’t mean to overstate it, but it’s like someone throws a paper airplane at you, and you respond by throwing a rock. > > . Let’s just say you stopped your punch a quarter inch from his stomach, and you didn’t hit him at all. What you’re doing, whether you realize it or not, is bull shit alpha male posturing. Some guys don’t take kindly to that shit and will punch you for it. You’d be wise to just write this up as a learning experience and move on. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2015, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/72 "2015-08-01T07:16:49Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > You’d be wise to just write this up as a learning experience and move on. Yup, pretty much there at this point. This thread has actually been pretty good in that regard. Was able to vent and get feedback. It actually makes it quite a bit easier. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2015, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/73 "2015-08-01T07:23:11Z")
> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > If you wouldn’t have hugged him, you don’t get to hit him. Small nitpick - I’ve hugged this guy dozens of times. The rest of your post is well received. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2015, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/74 "2015-08-01T10:27:28Z")
> [@Darth\_Panda](#): > > Small nitpick - I’ve hugged this guy dozens of times. The rest of your post is well received. So this whole situation was a lovers quarrel type thing? ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2015, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/75 "2015-08-01T10:37:17Z")
> [@Darth\_Panda](#): > > So, I went out today after work and drank for a while. … He responded by punching me in the face as hard as he could. Yep, some people are assholes when they drink. > [@Darth\_Panda](#): > > Because I want to knock him into the middle of fucking next week. Is that your excuse too? If you don’t like the guy, you’re entitled to not hang out with him. Personally, I try to keep in mind that really wanting to hit a guy is not a good reason for doing so. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2015, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/76 "2015-08-01T11:50:54Z")
Was it the first or second rule of Fight Club that wasn’t made clear? ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2015, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/77 "2015-08-01T15:24:04Z")
> [@astro](#): > > You are completely and utterly and almost seemingly deliberately missing the point. _IT DOES NOT MATTER HOW HARD YOU HIT HIM_. Laying your hands on someone even in a play violent manner is obnoxious in the extreme. You really, really don’t seem to get this. > > He did not strike you because he was hurt, he smacked you because you were wildly presumptuous and he was offended (and with some justification) and possibly a bit panicked. You’re adults not small children. Play punching someone in the stomach is not something you do unless you have a long term history of horse playing intimacy with them, and beyond that generally an extensive personal history of shared behavioral norms. You had neither with this guy and you paid the price. > > You behaved like a presumptuous idiot and got hit. You need to stop stewing, learn your lesson and move on. He is not the bad guy in this scenario, you are. This. You constantly try to justify hitting someone. A few thoughts, first it’s not ok to hit someone in the stomach - period. Even if you really did only hit him with 1/10 power that’s way to much for the stomach. The shoulder maybe. But you admit you were drinking so maybe you weren’t as in control of you power as you thought you were. This nonsense you keep spouting about how big and tough you are is irrelevant even if true. You are obviously scared of the guy or you would have taken it up with him at the time. And Ill guarantee you one thing, he damn sure isn’t afraid of you. Do as suggested in this thread: grow up and stop hitting people. If you stopped judging your self-worth by what a “badass” you are, that might go along way towards reaching that goal. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2015, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/78 "2015-08-01T15:55:52Z")
> [@White SIFL](#): > > Do as suggested in this thread: grow up and stop hitting people. If you stopped judging your self-worth by what a “badass” you are, that might go along way towards reaching that goal. I didn’t intend to claim to be any sort of badass. That kind of thing has no impact on my life 99.99% of the time. I haven’t been in a fight in probably 15 years. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2015, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/79 "2015-08-01T16:14:58Z")
Personally, I don’t like being hit in the face. I mean, I REALLY don’t like being hit in the face. I don’t care how “playful” your slap is – it will really piss me off and ruin my whole day. Maybe this guy feels the same way about sucker punches to the gut. That’s how Houdini died, you know. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2015, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/80 "2015-08-01T16:19:57Z")
I’m personally enjoying the metaphorical beat-down the OP is getting. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693.md?page=5)