# How hard should I be allowed to hit this guy?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [August 1, 2015, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693 "2015-08-01T00:12:58Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 6
### Author:  [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)
#### Post date: [August 3, 2015, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/101 "2015-08-03T15:13:06Z")
Hitting people in the stomach is not cool. If you can’t resist giving someone bro tap, the upper arm area would be better. And what does a tattoo artist have to do with anything? That part didn’t make sense.
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### Author:  [@funky\_little\_lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/funky_little_lee)
#### Post date: [August 3, 2015, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/102 "2015-08-03T15:32:22Z")
> [@Darth\_Panda](#):
>
> the best comparison I can give is that it’s the same strength I would hit a guy on the shoulder at my job - which is to say that it absolutely wouldn’t leave a bruise or hurt for more than a few seconds . Yes, it was in the stomach but the damage intended or caused by it was zero, absolutely zero. I don’t know how to convey this to people who don’t josh around - but a lot of punches really don’t do anything at all - they’re noticeable - but they don’t hurt, or barely hurt at all.
I’m still hoping this post is meant to be hypothetical or somehow humorous. But if it isn’t, here are two problems:
1. The stomach is a vulnerable area–that’s why we have the concept of “attacking the soft underbelly” as a way of disabling an enemy. If you come at someone’s abdomen, they’re going to have an automatic reflex to protect themselves, i.e., slug you back. You’re just lucky he didn’t clock you full force.
2. You think it is acceptable to hit someone so that it “wouldn’t hurt for more than a few seconds.” It is not OK to hit someone in such a way that it would hurt at all. I can’t believe no one ever explained this to you.
Also, even a playful fake punch is only appropriate if you know the person really, really well–like he’s your brother or you’ve been best friends since the first grade. Even then you’d better do it in only the right situation or even your bro or best friend is going to reflexly hit back and/or consider you a dick.
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### Author:  [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)
#### Post date: [August 3, 2015, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/103 "2015-08-03T15:34:02Z")
Now that it’s been settled -
I remember being 11 or 12 years old and having a crush on this guy I was playing some board game with. Anyway, I was young, and didn’t know any better, so I kept lightly hitting him, or slapping his arm, just really to have an excuse to touch him. It was my childish way of flirting.
After the third or fourth slap, or smack, or touch, he snapped at me, and said, “Would you please stop hitting me?” It was \*amazing \*to realize he didn’t like it at all. I am now 39 years old and I still remember the look on his face.
Maybe because I’m a girl, but that’s how early I learned never to touch or hit people without being sure they want me to.
Anyway, **Darth Panda** , glad you realize it’s not cool now. 🙂
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### Author:  [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)
#### Post date: [August 3, 2015, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/104 "2015-08-03T18:31:53Z")
> [@Darth\_Panda](#):
>
> That’s the main problem. If I hit him the way he hit me, he’s not getting up. I’m way bigger than him. Which is why I didn’t (and probably won’t) hit him back in a serious way.
So you are much bigger and wa ted to show dominance. I think you want to fuck him but you cant admit it to yourself.
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### Author:  [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)
#### Post date: [August 3, 2015, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/105 "2015-08-03T18:39:06Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#):
>
> Scream, “That’s my purse! I don’t know you!” Then kick him in the junk.
The only solution really. Now sing it with me.
[ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NOdkMRniig)
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### Author:  [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)
#### Post date: [August 3, 2015, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/106 "2015-08-03T21:39:55Z")
> [@control-z](#):
>
> Hitting people in the stomach is not cool. If you can’t resist giving someone bro tap, the upper arm area would be better. And what does a tattoo artist have to do with anything? That part didn’t make sense.
Along with others.
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### Author:  [@Learjeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Learjeff)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2015, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/107 "2015-08-04T04:09:26Z")
He was a bigger jerk than you were. Yep, he overreacted. Good for you for letting it go at the time.
Get over it. Otherwise, I was wrong about who is the bigger jerk.
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### Author:  [@FasterThanMeerkats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FasterThanMeerkats)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2015, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/108 "2015-08-04T14:49:12Z")
Have to say this thread is a fascinating study of the amount of mis-interpretation and mis-communication caused by inadequacies of the written word combined with the internet and punchy pandas.
**Darth Panda** , next time we go drinking you’re allowed to playfully punch me all you want. I suspect your other buddy has some deep-seeded psychological issues that only come out when drinking. You should probably test it by punching him when he’s sober. Also ask him to fill a survey of how he felt at the time and his relationship with his parents. And to answer your question, make sure you punch him with the 1/10th strength you used the first time, cause otherwise you’re going to have to do regressions and shit to figure anything out.
Seriously… this entire thread made my day.😃
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### Author:  [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2015, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/109 "2015-08-04T14:57:52Z")
Nitpick: “deep-_seated_,” not “deep-seeded.”
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### Author:  [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2015, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/110 "2015-08-04T16:39:27Z")
You should fuck Brett up the next time you see him and tell him never to seriously hit you again. You were doing it weakly and as a joke. Everybody gets at least one pass for that. Instead of talking it out and telling you he didn’t like that, he tried to assert dominance and beat you. You should make him feel small again
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### Author:  [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2015, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/111 "2015-08-04T17:34:49Z")
> [@Acsenray](#):
>
> Nitpick: “deep-_seated_,” not “deep-seeded.”
> [@Acsenray](#):
>
> And it’s ironic that you should assert this as a moral principal anyway, when you hit him first!
Also, “principle”. 😉
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### Author:  [@koufax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koufax)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2015, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/112 "2015-08-04T18:27:31Z")
> [@mandala](#):
>
> you mentioned you were drinking. Maybe brett was, too. Maybe what happened is you either violated his personal space and didn’t realize it, because you were (a little?) drunk, or brett misinterpreted your friendly intent because \*he \*was a little drunk. Considering how alcohol disinhibits, he probably overreacted. Or probably he wanted a bigger guy (you) to realize if you started a scrap, he’d fight back hard.
>
> Count yourself lucky he wasn’t a marine with knuckles of steel.
bingo!
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### Author:  [@Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Your_Great_Darsh_Face)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2015, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/113 "2015-08-04T18:35:16Z")
If you need to ask how hard you’re allowed to hit someone, you’re not allowed to hit them.
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### Author:  [@Blackstock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackstock)
#### Post date: [August 9, 2015, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/114 "2015-08-09T07:07:38Z")
Darth Panda: Don’t hit him, but do let him know slowly and clearly that his response was disproportionate and that you could have broken his goddamn face if you responded as impulsively and irresponsibly as he did.
P’S: I know what you’re talking about, and it gets on my nerves that people think it’s fine to turn a joke into a full-fledged bitchfest.
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### Author:  [@Blackstock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackstock)
#### Post date: [August 9, 2015, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/115 "2015-08-09T07:20:15Z")
Darth Panda: Don’t hit him, but do let him know slowly and clearly that his response was disproportionate and that you could have broken his goddamn face if you responded as impulsively and irresponsibly as he did.
P’S: I know what you’re talking about, and it gets on my nerves that people think it’s fine to turn a joke into a full-fledged bitchfest.
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### Author:  [@Blackstock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackstock)
#### Post date: [August 9, 2015, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/116 "2015-08-09T07:28:19Z")
Darth Panda: Don’t hit him, but do let him know slowly and clearly that his response was disproportionate and that you could have broken his goddamn face if you responded as impulsively and irresponsibly as he did.
P’S: I know what you’re talking about, and it gets on my nerves that people think it’s fine to turn a joke into a full-fledged bitchfest.
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### Author:  [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)
#### Post date: [August 9, 2015, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/117 "2015-08-09T12:17:51Z")
Why is Darth Panda’s punch a joke but the other guy’s slap irresponsible? It sounds like the second guy hit him lightly…so I’m not really seeing why one is OK and the other isn’t. Maybe just agree not to go around hitting each other?
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [August 9, 2015, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/118 "2015-08-09T14:21:00Z")
Just saw a relevant quote in the Movie Quotes thread – “My fist hungers for justice!”
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### Author:  [@McJesus97](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/McJesus97)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2015, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/119 "2015-08-11T03:32:54Z")
When I was in high school, a bully (Bully A) who was a friend of another bully (Bully B) punched me in the stomach without being provoked.
Bully B didn’t like me for whatever reason, and had apparently made fun of me behind my back to Bully A. Note that Bully A had been making fun of me since he and I were both in junior high. I had never actually done anything to provoke or deserve it, and had actually never even crossed paths with him really. He went out of his way to make fun of me wherever he could.
Anyway, one day in class I was walking behind Bully A, when he turned around and said, and I quote, “this is for Bully B” before proceeding to punch me in the stomach as hard as he could. I had literally done nothing to provoke this. I was minding my own business beforehand. After being blindsided with a punch to the gut, I was in extreme pain for a few minutes. Immediately after, I didn’t do anything to seek revenge. I actually never did anything to seek revenge. Bully A bullied me a few times after actually. It’s been 7+ years since I’ve seen Bully A.
This happened in grade 10. I was a year younger than everyone in grade school (i.e. I turned 17 in grade 12 whereas most people turned 18). Naturally, I was always smaller on average than other people in my classes, which led people to bully me more frequently.
I’ve seen recent pictures of Bully A on Facebook and, now that we’re both adults, I’m several inches taller and in much better shape than he is.
I would like nothing more than to track this guy down and beat him to a pulp for what he did to me back in high school. My question is, however, would it be worth it? I’m not sure, and I’d appreciate any advice people may have.
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2015, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/120 "2015-08-11T12:44:46Z")
Personally, I don’t like pulp. If you can beat him down to a particle-free liquid, great; but please, no pulp.
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