# How hard should I be allowed to hit this guy?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [August 1, 2015, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693 "2015-08-01T00:12:58Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 8
### Author:  [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2015, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/141 "2015-08-17T19:22:50Z")
> [@misterW](#):
>
> So if someone assaults and batters me with an unwanted hug, do you think it is a reasonable response to punch them in the face?
Nope. That’s just another battery. You don’t get to hit back. Nobody gets to hit. Not first, not second, not third.
The OP’s playful punch was wrong. The other guy’s retaliatory punch was wrong. Any further retaliation by the OP would be wrong. It’s all wrong and no one in this scenario is right.
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### Author:  [@misterW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misterW)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2015, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/142 "2015-08-17T19:25:07Z")
> [@Acsenray](#):
>
> Nope. That’s just another battery. You don’t get to hit back. Nobody gets to hit. Not first, not second, not third.
>
> The OP’s playful punch was wrong. The other guy’s retaliatory punch was wrong. Any further retaliation by the OP would be wrong. It’s all wrong and no one in this scenario is right.
Where does self defense fit in? Surely if someone assaults me, I have the right to defend myself from harm?
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### Author:  [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2015, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/143 "2015-08-17T19:30:46Z")
> [@misterW](#):
>
> Where does self defense fit in? Surely if someone assaults me, I have the right to defend myself from harm?
Retaliation is not defense. And self-defense is the use of _necessary_ force to prevent _imminent_ harm.
If the harm is over and done with, no use of force is justified.
The OP has not described any circumstance under which he would have been be protecting himself from imminent harm.
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### Author:  [@misterW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misterW)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2015, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/144 "2015-08-17T19:34:29Z")
Wasn’t the face puncher supposedly defending himself?
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### Author:  [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2015, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/145 "2015-08-17T19:48:50Z")
> [@McJesus97](#):
>
> When I was in high school, a bully (Bully A) who was a friend of another bully (Bully B) punched me in the stomach without being provoked.
>
> . . .
>
> I would like nothing more than to track this guy down and beat him to a pulp for what he did to me back in high school. My question is, however, would it be worth it? I’m not sure, and I’d appreciate any advice people may have.
Pretty sure this is satire, folks.
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### Author:  [@Grey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grey)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2015, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/146 "2015-08-17T20:15:41Z")
> [@misterW](#):
>
> … how a “punch” to the stomach could be a friendly gesture and not a life threatening assault…
I understand your point, but it’s kidding around only within the context of those friendly environments. This isn’t one where that understanding necessarily applies.
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### Author:  [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)
#### Post date: [August 19, 2015, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/147 "2015-08-19T10:41:40Z")
My take on this is that your “playful” ways have been annoying him for a while. When you hit him, he was, as they say, sick of your shit. His hitting harder was his way of letting you know this.
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### Author:  [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)
#### Post date: [August 19, 2015, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/148 "2015-08-19T12:49:07Z")
> [@Darth\_Panda](#):
>
> He then said 'never punch me in the stomach.".
Well, I dislike people doing anything with my abdomen, I have had enough surgery that it would be distressingly easy to split muscles at healed surgical sites and herniate me [which can potentially kill someone if it does not get proper treatment.] My husband has had 4 different procedures for repairing hernias in 2 locations [and has had several placements of mesh] and it could potentially happen to him as well. How do you know that someone has not had _recent_ abdominal surgery and you could do serious damage even at 1/10th strength?
Do what most people do, hit the bicep, it is a reasonably innocuous location unless someone is just healing from a fracture or surgical procedure - or how about NOT hitting people to start with?
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [August 19, 2015, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/149 "2015-08-19T13:30:17Z")
> [@aruvqan](#):
>
> … - or how about NOT hitting people to start with?
That’s just crazy talk! 🙂
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### Author:  [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2015, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/150 "2015-08-21T03:51:47Z")
> [@McJesus97](#):
>
> When I was in high school, a bully (Bully A) who was a friend of another bully (Bully B) punched me in the stomach without being provoked.
>
> Bully B didn’t like me for whatever reason, and had apparently made fun of me behind my back to Bully A. Note that Bully A had been making fun of me since he and I were both in junior high. I had never actually done anything to provoke or deserve it, and had actually never even crossed paths with him really. He went out of his way to make fun of me wherever he could.
>
> Anyway, one day in class I was walking behind Bully A, when he turned around and said, and I quote, “this is for Bully B” before proceeding to punch me in the stomach as hard as he could. I had literally done nothing to provoke this. I was minding my own business beforehand. After being blindsided with a punch to the gut, I was in extreme pain for a few minutes. Immediately after, I didn’t do anything to seek revenge. I actually never did anything to seek revenge. Bully A bullied me a few times after actually. It’s been 7+ years since I’ve seen Bully A.
>
> This happened in grade 10. I was a year younger than everyone in grade school (i.e. I turned 17 in grade 12 whereas most people turned 18). Naturally, I was always smaller on average than other people in my classes, which led people to bully me more frequently.
>
> I’ve seen recent pictures of Bully A on Facebook and, now that we’re both adults, I’m several inches taller and in much better shape than he is.
>
> I would like nothing more than to track this guy down and beat him to a pulp for what he did to me back in high school. My question is, however, would it be worth it? I’m not sure, and I’d appreciate any advice people may have.
You’ve had 7+ years to plan revenge and that’s all you’ve come up with?
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### Author:  [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)
#### Post date: [August 22, 2015, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/151 "2015-08-22T00:41:31Z")
> [@misterW](#):
>
> Wasn’t the face puncher supposedly defending himself?
Take out the supposedly and sure.
You hit someone first, utterly unprovoked, now you want to cry because you got the worst of it. Judge Judy would have no patience for you.
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### Author:  [@misterW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misterW)
#### Post date: [August 22, 2015, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/152 "2015-08-22T04:01:33Z")
Perhaps the OP was being obnoxious; at the very least he was acting playful with someone who he had not actually developed that relationship yet.
But he was out drinking with friends, and when people drink they tend to act that way – they will put their arm around people they barely know, they’ll tell strangers intimate details of their lives, and they may even attempt horseplay with acquaintances with fake punches to the stomach.
If you are someone who is so touchy that they react to this horseplay by punching someone in the face… you probably should avoid that sort of environment.
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### Author:  [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)
#### Post date: [August 22, 2015, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/153 "2015-08-22T04:04:30Z")
There was the time when I was helping my friend panel his basement. His 2½ year old son came downstairs to the basement with tears filling his eyes and his bottom lip sticking out a mile. I asked him what was wrong and in a voice filled with the kind of righteous indignation that only a 2½ year old on the verge of crying can muster, told me “Ashley hit me back!” Ashley was his 4 year old sister. At a loss, I thought MY wisest course of action was to direct the young lad to his father.
The OP is of the get drunk and surprise people you’ve been drinking with by punching them in the stomach because we’re friends school of thought.
The other guy is of the get drunk and punch someone in the face if they unexpectedly punch you in the stomach school.
Oh, and the OP is of the whine because someone hit him back school.
They ought to just agree to meet each other at the bicycle rack during recess. And to bring their lunchboxes.
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### Author:  [@misterW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misterW)
#### Post date: [August 22, 2015, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/154 "2015-08-22T04:20:07Z")
> [@Ranger\_Jeff](#):
>
> There was the time when I was helping my friend panel his basement. His 2½ year old son came downstairs to the basement with tears filling his eyes and his bottom lip sticking out a mile. I asked him what was wrong and in a voice filled with the kind of righteous indignation that only a 2½ year old on the verge of crying can muster, told me “Ashley hit me back!” Ashley was his 4 year old sister. At a loss, I thought MY wisest course of action was to direct the young lad to his father.
>
> The OP is of the get drunk and surprise people you’ve been drinking with by punching them in the stomach because we’re friends school of thought.
>
> The other guy is of the get drunk and punch someone in the face if they unexpectedly punch you in the stomach school.
>
> Oh, and the OP is of the whine because someone hit him back school.
>
> They ought to just agree to meet each other at the bicycle rack during recess. And to bring their lunchboxes.
Do you believe the stomach punch was an actual punch to the stomach? Or a fake punch to the stomach? Or do you not understand how the two can be different?
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### Author:  [@misterW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misterW)
#### Post date: [August 22, 2015, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/155 "2015-08-22T04:43:50Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#):
>
> The last time someone attempted to put me in a headlock “as a joke” I had him on the ground and in an armbar before either of us realized what was happening
>
> Stranger
Someone you knew?
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### Author:  [@JustinC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustinC)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2015, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/156 "2015-08-25T07:03:27Z")
This short video on how [The Bully From “The Karate Kid” Is Actually the Hero](https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=131&v=C_Gz_iTuRMM) is kind of relevant.
And [Barney Stinson agrees](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXaittoXJog).
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### Author:  [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2015, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/157 "2015-08-25T07:35:12Z")
> [@misterW](#):
>
> Do you believe the stomach punch was an actual punch to the stomach? Or a fake punch to the stomach? Or do you not understand how the two can be different?
It doesn’t matter what I believe. In this instance, _I_ was not the recipient of said stomach punch. And if any contact was made, even if it was only 10%, then it was an actual punch. Look on the bright side… that punch in the face that DP got? Maybe that was dialed down to 10% also…
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### Author:  [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2015, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/158 "2015-08-25T11:18:02Z")
> [@misterW](#):
>
> Do you believe the stomach punch was an actual punch to the stomach? Or a fake punch to the stomach? Or do you not understand how the two can be different?
I, for one, am having trouble with this distinction. The stomach is the soft underbelly. I don’t see how you can punch it, without warning to tighten the muscles, and not risk actually hurting someone. If the op had said he’d lightly punched a guy in the arm, I would have more sympathy for him.
As it is, he’s lucky his victim didn’t punch him full out in the face. And since no actual damage was done to his face, we can be pretty sure that was just a “playful” punch to the face, despite what he said.
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### Author:  [@Tread](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tread)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2015, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/159 "2015-08-25T12:28:38Z")
You hit him … he hit you. No matter how many fights you have been in, you do not know if he could have hit you harder had he chosen to.
You started it, he followed up with one punch. Then you both decided to stop at that point. It is done.
I also find it comical how you have asked for other’s opinion of this, and when given it try to explain why they are wrong.
If you don’t want to get hit, do not hit someone else.
If you don’t want someone’s opinion, don’t ask for it.
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### Author:  [@misterW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misterW)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2015, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-hard-should-i-be-allowed-to-hit-this-guy/726693/160 "2015-08-25T14:26:24Z")
> [@Ranger\_Jeff](#):
>
> It doesn’t matter what I believe. In this instance, _I_ was not the recipient of said stomach punch. And if any contact was made, even if it was only 10%, then it was an actual punch. Look on the bright side… that punch in the face that DP got? Maybe that was dialed down to 10% also…
It does matter what you believe because I’m having a conversation with you and trying to figure out why your responses are so puzzling. So far it seems they boil down to something like 1/10 X = X. which just doesn’t seem right.
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