# How I pawned a "lady" who was bitching out a grocery store clerk **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 5, 2011, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-i-pawned-a-lady-who-was-bitching-out-a-grocery-store-clerk/580817 "2011-05-05T05:41:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-i-pawned-a-lady-who-was-bitching-out-a-grocery-store-clerk/580817/1 "2011-05-05T05:41:35Z")
I had to stop at the grocery store to pick up a couple of things and the self scan machines were down, so I went to the express lane. The “lady” in front of me had more than 15 items, but whatever. The cashier at the express lane is usually really fast. The “lady” also had coupons. OK, should be fast, all the cashier had to do was swipe them and the “lady” would be gone, right? No. None of the coupons were for the stuff she had, i.e., coupon for store brand orange juice and she had brand name stuff. This is the express line, so no baggers to run and get the right stuff. The cashier called baggers from other lanes to get the “lady’s stuff” Again, whatever. Until the “lady” started bitching out the cashier because she didn’t want the store brand. She had coupons, so her entitled self meant that she could get the best and biggest. The guy behind me was a skinny goth guy, covered with ink and body mods, leather and a black t-shirt with small white letters that said “cultist” Being a cultist myself, I started singing this song: [Hey There Cthulhu: The Photomontage Video [a Lovecraftian song] - YouTube](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxScTbIUvoA) At first the goth guy looked all fish eyed at me, but then he started belting the song out with a wonder baritone. Great voice and wonderful projection. About half way through the song, the “lady” demanded that the cashier make us shut up. The cashier said she couldn’t do that, and the “lady” threw her coupons at her and stalked out while saying that she would never shop there again. I’m so proud 🙂 (PS, I did offer to talk to the manager in case the cashier gets in trouble…when the cashier stopped crying from laughter, she said it was OK, they hope that the “lady” won’t come back) ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-i-pawned-a-lady-who-was-bitching-out-a-grocery-store-clerk/580817/2 "2011-05-05T06:01:42Z")
The word you are looking for is “pwned” (pronounced like “owned” but with a p in front). “Pawned” implies you sold the lady off for a fraction of her value so you could afford to buy one more hit of crack on the street corner. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-i-pawned-a-lady-who-was-bitching-out-a-grocery-store-clerk/580817/3 "2011-05-05T06:05:36Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > The word you are looking for is “pwned” (pronounced like “owned” but with a p in front). “Pawned” implies you sold the lady off for a fraction of her value so you could afford to buy one more hit of crack on the street corner. Hurray…I pwned my ownself with this tread. Laughs hysterically 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Feyrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/fbc32d/32.png) [@Feyrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feyrat)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-i-pawned-a-lady-who-was-bitching-out-a-grocery-store-clerk/580817/4 "2011-05-05T06:07:03Z")
I was just coming in to complain about the lack of pawn shop… ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-i-pawned-a-lady-who-was-bitching-out-a-grocery-store-clerk/580817/5 "2011-05-05T06:08:18Z")
I was trying to work out what you did to the deserving lady. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-i-pawned-a-lady-who-was-bitching-out-a-grocery-store-clerk/580817/6 "2011-05-05T06:28:04Z")
> [@Feyrat](#): > > I was just coming in to complain about the lack of pawn shop… Do you really want to buy a bitch like that? ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-i-pawned-a-lady-who-was-bitching-out-a-grocery-store-clerk/580817/7 "2011-05-05T06:29:55Z")
> [@Cicero](#): > > I was trying to work out what you did to the deserving lady. Beer was one of the things on my shopping list, so I probably wasn’t as clear as I could have been. Listen to the song about all of humanity suffering and dieing, which might make it clear. ---
**Author:** ![scamartistry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/919ad9/32.png) [@scamartistry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scamartistry)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-i-pawned-a-lady-who-was-bitching-out-a-grocery-store-clerk/580817/8 "2011-05-05T07:21:33Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > Beer was one of the things on my shopping list, so I probably wasn’t as clear as I could have been. Listen to the song about all of humanity suffering and dieing, which might make it clear. you “pawned” what? I don’t understand much from your rather unlettered story. But I guess you did something very silly and, of course hilarious ---
**Author:** ![ImNotPaulAvery](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b5a626/32.png) [@ImNotPaulAvery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ImNotPaulAvery)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-i-pawned-a-lady-who-was-bitching-out-a-grocery-store-clerk/580817/9 "2011-05-05T08:31:28Z")
The OP didn’t seem that hard to understand to me. 😕 Anyway, this is a good example of an uppity bitch getting what she deserved. Good work, flatlined. ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-i-pawned-a-lady-who-was-bitching-out-a-grocery-store-clerk/580817/10 "2011-05-05T08:36:37Z")
Onya flatlined 😃 Pawned or pwned, she got exactly what she deserved. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-i-pawned-a-lady-who-was-bitching-out-a-grocery-store-clerk/580817/11 "2011-05-05T09:23:31Z")
> [@ImNotPaulAvery](#): > > The OP didn’t seem that hard to understand to me. 😕 I’m not getting the relevance of the song to her behaviour. Or did she just look like the type of middle class Christian who thinks Harry Potter leads to Satan, and who’d be horrified by hearing Lovecraft references sung at her? ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-i-pawned-a-lady-who-was-bitching-out-a-grocery-store-clerk/580817/12 "2011-05-05T09:28:38Z")
> [@hermette](#): > > I’m not getting the relevance of the song to her behaviour. Or did she just look like the type of middle class Christian who thinks Harry Potter leads to Satan, and who’d be horrified by hearing Lovecraft references sung at her? I don’t think the song was aimed at the woman herself. It’s just that the guy behind flatlined in the queue had a shirt on which triggered the reminiscence of the song, and they started singing together. The woman decided to be offended by it and stormed out, which was delicious hilarity. It’s just as likely that she would have responded the same if flatlined had started singing “Kyle’s Mom is a big Fat bitch” or “Fat-Bottomed Girls” ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-i-pawned-a-lady-who-was-bitching-out-a-grocery-store-clerk/580817/13 "2011-05-05T11:21:47Z")
This is a most surreal way of sorting out the annoying person in line. Well done, and thanks for sharing. Also, I’ve never heard this song before, and I really appreciate you turning me on to it. Now I have to email **T. Slothrop**. Cthulhu Callay, indeed. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-i-pawned-a-lady-who-was-bitching-out-a-grocery-store-clerk/580817/14 "2011-05-05T16:41:45Z")
Good read. I wish I would have the balls to do this when someone obnoxious is in line in front of me. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-i-pawned-a-lady-who-was-bitching-out-a-grocery-store-clerk/580817/15 "2011-05-05T16:59:40Z")
I saw an [FSM fish](http://evolvefish.com/fish/fsm.html) on a car on Sunday. Complete with little tentacles. It was awesome. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-i-pawned-a-lady-who-was-bitching-out-a-grocery-store-clerk/580817/16 "2011-05-05T17:09:27Z")
I once read an article by a bookstore clerk. She had a customer who was making impossible demands. The woman kept arguing and getting louder. Finally she said that if she didn’t get her way “I’ll never shop here again”. One of the other customers said “Make her put it in writing.” ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-i-pawned-a-lady-who-was-bitching-out-a-grocery-store-clerk/580817/17 "2011-05-05T17:22:36Z")
Actually, they should have a contract that specifically says that the undersigned agrees never to shop at that store ever again. That way, they can present it to the person making the “I’ll never shop here again” claim and ask for their signature. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-i-pawned-a-lady-who-was-bitching-out-a-grocery-store-clerk/580817/18 "2011-05-05T17:48:28Z")
If it was a matter of a few things, and IF the lady wasn’t a bitch I’d let it slide. Otherwise I point to the 15 or less items sign and ask if she need help reading it. ---
**Author:** ![nikonikosuru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f8ce5/32.png) [@nikonikosuru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nikonikosuru)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-i-pawned-a-lady-who-was-bitching-out-a-grocery-store-clerk/580817/19 "2011-05-05T17:55:09Z")
As a cashier who has to put up with customers like that pretty often, I thank you. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-i-pawned-a-lady-who-was-bitching-out-a-grocery-store-clerk/580817/20 "2011-05-05T19:40:54Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > Actually, they should have a contract that specifically says that the undersigned agrees never to shop at that store ever again. That way, they can present it to the person making the “I’ll never shop here again” claim and ask for their signature. Contract fails for want of consideration. Sorry. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-i-pawned-a-lady-who-was-bitching-out-a-grocery-store-clerk/580817.md?page=2)